The CrabCake Bureau of Funny Post Archival

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

Look at this photograph
Every time I do it makes me laugh
What the hell is on Andy's head?

[Lief 🗽]

Also, I find it kind of strange that that particular piece of hyperbole was placed here when we literally have people voting for Hitler over Andrew Cuomo in other threads.

[Atlas Has Shrugged]

This is Tim and Eric's strangest project yet.

[IceSpear]

Kasich sounds vaguely sane sometimes. Maybe he'd do as well as Huntsman.

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

I nominate Emperor Palpatine to challenge Cuomo next. One's a craven backstabber only interested in power and enrichment for himself, and the other is from Star Wars, you see.

[Paul Kemp]

...has anyone dared to ask how The Diet will be affected this Thursday?

Like Paul said, I'm not going to think about the diet on Thanksgiving Day or Christmas Day.  Tomorrow night will be kind of tough with our all church Thanksgiving Dinner, but since it is not a holiday, I will try to spare myself too much.

What did Christ eat on His birthday? Nothing. How about you follow His example as you celebrate His birth.

[Lief 🗽]

We generally eat light the night before like Taco Salad

[King]

The morbidly obese family that generally eats light.

[Paul Kemp]

We generally eat light the night before like Taco Salad

RIP TOILETS

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Arrogant, cocky jerk, who will predictably be a hero of the usual suspects around here.

You two weren't around for his original incarnations. You can't judge him without that.

If he was anything like he is now, I'm glad I wasn't. Why isn't he banned for being a sock, by the way?

I really hope someday in the year 2024, you wake up to a beautiful sunny morning, grab your morning espresso, open up your macbook that weighs like 12 oz, and start to browse Atlas only to find that someone who registered ten months ago is calling for you to be banned.

[Joe Republic]

Nah, Bushie does get his beef in.

[IceSpear]

How many of you have ever had 2 bowls of cereal in one sitting? I can't say I ever have.

That's normal for me, especially if the bowl is small.  Occasionally, I'll pour a third bowl if I'm really hungry.  I remember as an elementary-school kid I downed 8 bowls of cereal in one sitting.  That's my record and something I cannot do anymore due to my lactose semi-intolerance.

And Mama Bushie probably gleefully poured you more Count Chocula and dismissed any criticism with, "He's a growin' boy!"

[True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자)]

How many of you have ever had 2 bowls of cereal in one sitting? I can't say I ever have.

That's normal for me, especially if the bowl is small.  Occasionally, I'll pour a third bowl if I'm really hungry.  I remember as an elementary-school kid I downed 8 bowls of cereal in one sitting.  That's my record and something I cannot do anymore due to my lactose semi-intolerance.

And Mama Bushie probably gleefully poured you more Count Chocula and dismissed any criticism with, "He's a growin' boy!"

I had a mixture of Boo Berry and Franken Berry for breakfast this morning.  (Finished off the Boo Berry box and opened a Franken Berry for the next box because my girlfriend wanted some Franken Berry when given a choice of all three.)

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I recommend seasonal music to accompany Update:

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my Bushie gave to me:

•   12 jobs a-failing
•   11 excuses boiling
•   10 hours sleeping
•   9 pins a-falling
•   8 bowls a-gorging
•   7 games a-watching
•   6 dinners attending

•   5 GOLDEN CORRALS!

•   4 ex-fiancés
•   3 church groups
•   2 sad dogs
•   And a sack of unused walking gear

[Paul Kemp]

RAWR RAWR you're all BULLIES! CYBER BULLIES! ALL OF YOU! update makes me sooooo MAD! Arggggggggg! I am so miserable in real life. But a kid gets randomly killed?



Colt 45 is what's for dinner lol. Darwined lol.

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

RAWR RAWR you're all BULLIES! CYBER BULLIES! ALL OF YOU! update makes me sooooo MAD! Arggggggggg! I am so miserable in real life. But a kid gets randomly killed?



Colt 45 is what's for dinner lol. Darwined lol.

Came here to post that.

[Joe Republic]

This thread is about what's next though.

The Obamas and Joe Biden visit the state in a highly publicized campaign event for Landrieu. Barack proudly declares Mary Landrieu to be a vital ally, reminding the audience that Obamacare wouldn't have passed without her vote, and Michelle accidentally calls her "Molly Langrove". Biden makes an offensive gaffe about Cajuns.

[Lief 🗽]

I would have expected better from a Millennial.

[Snowstalker Mk. II]

Shut up, Naso.

You know why you guys get so angry at me? Because deep down I speak truths...and my side keeps winning over yours.

Pretty sure people get angry at you because you're an obtuse, ignorant racist. But keep thinking what you want to think. It's certainly a pattern you're already quite familiar with.

Not a racist at all. I've been out with African American girls. The first person I voted for was an African American. I resent being called a racist.

[Grumpier Than Thou]

At approximately 11:05 PM today, Brodie Hellenes and Dixie Reborn were stopped by a Forum Moderation Officer due to suspected involvement with sock accounting. Hellenes attempted to attack the officer. Fearing for his life, the officer acted in self defense by firing two fifty point infractions at the suspects. Mr. Hellenes was pronounced dead at the scene while Mr. Reborn is in critical condition at Jew Leip Methodist Memorial Hospital - but is not expected to recover. The officer involved has been put on paid leave pending internal investigation.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

You were a terrible poster so unless opebo is unbanned, why should you be?

You're right, we should wait and unban all the horrible posters at once. 

Dave Leip will do that at the rapture.

[Lief 🗽]

[Enderman]

"Awaken the Force, Luke - I've run out of lubricant!"

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

Say what you like about Hitler, but at least he killed Hitler.

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

Disgusting that Cuomo is winning. If he loses to Hitler he should lose to some random cop.

No, no, it's like rock-paper-scissors. Hitler beats Cuomo, Cuomo beats Wilson, Wilson beats Hitler.