The CrabCake Bureau of Funny Post Archival

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

Before invasion it's important to get a view of the battlefield, and of course that means maps. So I scouted for a thread about redistricting or gerrymandering and found only one thread in the Campaign and Political Reform board. The single post on the thread, which talked about IL, got the first name and years of Gov Dan Walker wrong - a clear sign of an unprepared foe. The map described in the post had a 2% variance, while we have a regiment of mappers who can work down to a 0.5% tolerance. No image is posted and no responses were either. Perhaps they lack our technology to discuss with maps or invoke Dave's Redistricting App. If true then their defenses are weak, and an infiltration with Atlas technology should make for a swift and successful battle.

[traininthedistance]

Before invasion it's important to get a view of the battlefield, and of course that means maps. So I scouted for a thread about redistricting or gerrymandering and found only one thread in the Campaign and Political Reform board. The single post on the thread, which talked about IL, got the first name and years of Gov Dan Walker wrong - a clear sign of an unprepared foe. The map described in the post had a 2% variance, while we have a regiment of mappers who can work down to a 0.5% tolerance. No image is posted and no responses were either. Perhaps they lack our technology to discuss with maps or invoke Dave's Redistricting App. If true then their defenses are weak, and an infiltration with Atlas technology should make for a swift and successful battle.

Damn if that isn't post of the year right there.

[Mr. Smith]

Freedom word. It brings me back to the heady days of October 2012, when a resurgent Mitt Romney was trying to steal the election so that he could fulfill the White Horse Prophecy and put his morman cult in full control of the federal government. But Barack Obama, the plucky underdog that he was, held strong in the Ohio firewall, despite all of Mitt Romney's racist attack ads, and prevailed. It was beautiful. It still brings tears to my eyes. For the first time, I was truly proud of my country.

Regardless of the intent, this one's hilarious.

[IceSpear]

Apparently a bunch of posters from here invaded another forum?What the hell guys? And did so because Bushie had buggered off to said forum? And did all of this in public posts? I've been a member of this forum for eleven and a half years and I don't think I've felt as genuinely embarrassed by my membership as I do right now. This is absolutely pathetic. This is supposed to be a serious (alright serious-ish) and above all mature forum dedicated to serious discussion of politics and the tracking and mapping of elections (if you think this is boring, then feel free to leave the U.S. Election Atlas forum). Instead you act like a bunch of sugar addled twelve year olds or worse rugby players and play a juvenile trick on another forum because your favourite Walrus-shaped piñata has waddled off there. Naturally you get caught. Congratulations idiots!

Dave should probably have all the ringleaders banned for a week or something.

[Joe Republic]

By the way it's great to have you back. I was worried you had been hit by a truck or fallen out of a tree onto a pile of AIDS swords.

[Flake]

great point brb having consensual sex with crustaceans

[moderatevoter]

This exchange was pretty great:

pfadmin, how foolish of you to waltz right into enemy territory! you are now our prisoner of war LOL

That's probably for the best, because if my wife has to yell at me one more time to log off and get to bed, I may need a place to stay.

[Enderman]

Context is in the poll options at the start of the thread:

Hey Trues, don't blow this lead
Take the platform and make Lefter
Remember to let Hillary into your hearts
And then you can start, to make her Lefter

[King]

Rand could get a 3rd of the black vote in 2016, while having disagreements with the CRA

jao

[Mr. Morden]

The ultimate Tender Branson post:

She looks like 15 (like most Korean chicks), but is probably 40 or 50 or something.

I have a hard time in rating the hotness though, because Koreans also all kinda look the same.

[Simfan34]

 …hum, I came here looking to see if anybody had some morning after pills, only to find I’m late, the new babe has arrived. Above her hackles and now statius care for the middle working class, she’s off onto the road to tell us the gains, the improvements that will occur because of her presidency. I’m sure she’ll also be reminding us that these life improvements, your gains will be of their governance accomplishments, not really yours.

[King]

 …hum, I came here looking to see if anybody had some morning after pills, only to find I’m late, the new babe has arrived. Above her hackles and now statius care for the middle working class, she’s off onto the road to tell us the gains, the improvements that will occur because of her presidency. I’m sure she’ll also be reminding us that these life improvements, your gains will be of their governance accomplishments, not really yours.

The best part of this post is that he edited it. Apparently, there are grammatical rules for t_host1 posts that he accidentally violated.

[Antonio the Sixth]

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=210670.msg4560237#msg4560237

Both the OP and the last post deserve a mention.

[#CriminalizeSobriety]

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=210670.msg4560237#msg4560237

Both the OP and the last post deserve a mention.

Uh, that thread was about as funny as having dysentery.

[Brewer]

Like I said - homosexual marriage is now a privileged class, and the in your face attitude will not end. I said this yesterday and I was called insane for even suggesting it - they're promoting this marriage, in our face, whether we like it or not.  I found the video intimidating, hurtful, and inappropriate.

[Oakvale]

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=210670.msg4560237#msg4560237

Both the OP and the last post deserve a mention.

You must be logged in to read this quote.

I thought that was Sergio's job?

[Maxwell]

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=210670.msg4560237#msg4560237

Both the OP and the last post deserve a mention.

Uh, that thread was about as funny as having dysentery.

OP deserves the banhammer for that thread alone.

[SWE]

Very stupid but Democrats want to "fundamentally transform" America and the only way to do that is to change our foundations. Rather than Moses as a founding father, their figure is a former state senator from Illinois.

[Mr. Smith]

Why is this man's mouth always dry. Good speach but I just couldn't help but notice he was in dire need of water by the half way mark.

He'll get better. Soon his mouth will learn to water itself when he starts speaking. By the end of the primaries he will be slobbering whenever he speaks.

[Antonio the Sixth]

The Jao has blessed us once more:

Right, because the type of people who believe this crap works and is necessary are definitely going to change their minds after hearing Obama denounce it.  I predict a bounce in support for the practice!

And I'm sure the First Amendment will be cited to protect the rights of people or groups to psychologically torture children anyway.

Medical malpractice is not protected by the First Amendment. Yes, I know, you already knew that.

There isn't a clear line as to what constitutes "conversion" therapy and what doesn't, so you could have the courts defining what is and isn't allowed to be talked about in a way that goes beyond traditional malpractice law.
Is there anything currently stopping malpractice suits to be brought against abusive conversion therapy practices?

  yep, it is called the "truth", facts of life. That is why Obama must denounce it; keeping the confusion of who the bigots are "a" tactic to divide. Therefore, no way in hell is he going to use his money to defeat his objective. The same doctrine as the Benghazi story, which also exposed Hillary as the underling with no backup.

Get help... Please.

Conversion therapy I suppose?

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=210670.msg4560237#msg4560237

Both the OP and the last post deserve a mention.

You must be logged in to read this quote.

I thought that was Sergio's job?

Is Sergio my gay Navy boy toy concocted in the minds of IRC collective? 

[Antonio the Sixth]

...no. Of course I gather that some US states also elect coroners as well, which is remarkable.

The idea that the coroners are 'independent' is one of the more blatant fictions that is reproduced constantly in the public sphere. The coroners, like all other institutions in bourgeois society, ultimately serve the class that rules over the rest of us. Confirmation of death, for example, has almost always been used to declare Socialist ideologues and comrades dead. The fact that they sometimes certifies the death of members of the Capitalist ruling-class is part of the theater of bourgeois democracy, whereby the public is given the show of actually getting rid of horrible people like Thatcher, and thereby avoiding longer term or deeper structural changes to the system.

For example if bourgeois establishment coroners hadn't "confirmed" Lenin's death, he could have gone on spreading his message for the coming centuries and we would have already had a global workers' people's republic without false unelected judges imposing the tyranny of free market economics and neoliberal "liberty" upon us!     

[IceSpear]

^Came here to post that.

[Panda Express]

I strongly object to lumping together Update fans and the Atlas patriots who bravely fought in the Bizarro Atlas Offensive. Many upstanding posters, from Morden to Simfan, to even Madeleine(!) participated in the latter. They have nothing in common with the Update creeps.

[LeBron]

  Make sense?   

Crystal clear!