The CrabCake Bureau of Funny Post Archival

[NewYorkExpress]

They lose twice to Buffalo and once to Philadelphia and Dallas, leaving a 12-4 record, AFC East title, 1st round bye, and defeat in the AFC Divisional Round (to Cleveland/San Diego/Buffalo).

The Browns aren't actually that bad..they're the team that'll pull an upset or two early, and fizzle out in the AFC Title Game.

[free my dawg]

They lose twice to Buffalo and once to Philadelphia and Dallas, leaving a 12-4 record, AFC East title, 1st round bye, and defeat in the AFC Divisional Round (to Cleveland/San Diego/Buffalo).

The Browns aren't actually that bad..they're the team that'll pull an upset or two early, and fizzle out in the AFC Title Game.

This is coming from the guy who said that the team that had the third-place finisher for AL MVP and the Cy Young winner had "nobody". I wouldn't worry.

[#CriminalizeSobriety]

They lose twice to Buffalo and once to Philadelphia and Dallas, leaving a 12-4 record, AFC East title, 1st round bye, and defeat in the AFC Divisional Round (to Cleveland/San Diego/Buffalo).

The Browns aren't actually that bad..they're the team that'll pull an upset or two early, and fizzle out in the AFC Title Game.

The Browns haven't had a winning season since 2007. Their starting QB is Josh McCown, who wasn't good enough for the Bucs.

[NewYorkExpress]

They lose twice to Buffalo and once to Philadelphia and Dallas, leaving a 12-4 record, AFC East title, 1st round bye, and defeat in the AFC Divisional Round (to Cleveland/San Diego/Buffalo).

The Browns aren't actually that bad..they're the team that'll pull an upset or two early, and fizzle out in the AFC Title Game.

The Browns haven't had a winning season since 2007. Their starting QB is Josh McCown, who wasn't good enough for the Bucs.

And the AFC North, where they play is weakening as power conference, some thing that can only help the Browns (and Bengals).

[Chunk Yogurt for President!]

Context:

An endorsement that fits the Bill

[True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자)]

I typed that? Oh my. But hey, now that it is preserved for the ages, I guess I will leave it alone.

The perils of auto correct!

[bore]

I think the red army has the strongest position right now, IMO, as long as it shores up its defenses against the green army.  They could make a strong push up into blue North America.  With those two continents' bonus reinforcements, it'd be a cakewalk after that.

[Sprouts Farmers Market ✘]

Challenging Rosa Parks for best "No" quote OF ALL TIME.

Is this some sort of joke?

 No.

[IceSpear]

Yeah, NH is so off the deep end with being a consistent swing state and having divided government.

Schizophrenia seems like going off the deep end to me

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

https://youtu.be/j8cMb1YTw-8

Whatever that video is, I'm not clicking on it, even if it is on Youtube.

Don't worry, it's an MFF-threesome:
It's Chris Christie, Maggie De Block and Angela Merkel having a good time...

[LeBron]

So...Ole finds a bottle along the lakeshore one day and wondering if there's any beer in the bottle, he takes the cap off.  Surprisingly a genie pops out.

"Oh thank you Ole for letting me out of that bottle!  Because you did this, I will grant you one wish."

Ole:  vell, I vant to go back to Norway to see my family but I took the boat over and swore never to do it again...and I don't fly so could you build me a bridge so I could drive over?"

Genie:  oh boy...that's asking a lot.  I mean, that's nearly impossible...even for a genie.  Is there something else you might want?

Ole:  vell, Sven (the Svede) alvays said da norvegians were just svedes with their brains knocked out...so could you make the Norvegians da smartest people on earth?"

Genie:  "do you want 2 lanes or 4 lanes?"

So...Sven died.  But while alive, Sven and Ole promised they would keep in contact so the other would know if heaven was worth it.

Well, both Sven and Ole had two favorite hobbies:  Gardening and baseball.

Anyway, Ole is out in his garden weeding one day, mad at Sven for breaking his promise until he hears Sven's voice from the corner of his ear.  

"Hello Ole."

"Sven you son of a gun, I thought you'd never come back!  What is heaven like anyway, Sven?"

Sven:  "vell, it's actually quite nice.  But I have some good news and bad news."

Ole:  "Gimme the good news first"

Sven:  "Da good news is ve play baseball every day."

Ole:  "and da bad news?"

Sven:  "you're up to bat"


One last one:

Ole is on his death bed.  Barely clinging to life, alone in his bedroom...the delicious aroma of rhubarb pie fresh out of the oven wafts into the room.

Rhubarb pie is Ole's favorite.

So, Ole gathers all the strength he can muster and hobbles down to the kitchen.  On the counter is the pie with a tub of whipped cream.  He takes the knife and just as he's ready to cut into it, Lena walks in...

"Ole!  Get your hands off da rhubarb pie!  Dats for da funeral"

[retromike22]

I mean, it was fun for me in college having all that extra time to make maps!

[Flake]

Do gays even have a right to form a domestic partnership/civil union anymore? Or are we forced to get a SSM if we oppose it? I can't find any information on it, at least in California

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

I thought his reputation was destroyed in the last primary.

No, you see, he got "glasses, stem cell treatment, and...and...what was the third thing?"

Rand Paul: "An indictment?

Perry: "Yes, there we go, an indictment! (laughs)"

Moderator: "An indictment, Governor. Is that really the third thing?"

Perry: "No, no. I mean I did, but it's not what I physically got. It's glasses, stem cell treatment, and...and... let's see. I can't. Oops"

[SWE]

The fair tax is not nearly as regressive as one might expect with a consumption tax due to the proposal having a redistributory element in the form of a "prebate" - much like has suggested to compensate for a carbon tax's effect on the poor.  It would mainly only be regressive when it comes to a comparison between the sort of rich and the very rich - but then we sort of have that already.

The Fair Tax's questionable character comes from the major impact it would have on economic activity if it were high enough to replace current sources of revenue.

See? THIS IS A DISCUSSION. I just didn't want the Atlas Democrats' quasi-socialist rhetoric to seep into the discussion, when socialism will never happen in America

[Türkisblau]

The fair tax is not nearly as regressive as one might expect with a consumption tax due to the proposal having a redistributory element in the form of a "prebate" - much like has suggested to compensate for a carbon tax's effect on the poor.  It would mainly only be regressive when it comes to a comparison between the sort of rich and the very rich - but then we sort of have that already.

The Fair Tax's questionable character comes from the major impact it would have on economic activity if it were high enough to replace current sources of revenue.

See? THIS IS A DISCUSSION. I just didn't want the Atlas Democrats' quasi-socialist rhetoric to seep into the discussion, when socialism will never happen in America

How has Free Bird not been banned yet? I think he and Deadprez should be the first to go in the dungeon.

[Mr. Smith]

Men and women are both awful. The only true love in universe is raw precinct data and maps.

[Ebowed]

Do gays even have a right to form a domestic partnership/civil union anymore? Or are we forced to get a SSM if we oppose it? I can't find any information on it, at least in California

That is extreme comedy gold.  Hats off to the author

[IceSpear]

Do gays even have a right to form a domestic partnership/civil union anymore? Or are we forced to get a SSM if we oppose it? I can't find any information on it, at least in California

That is extreme comedy gold.  Hats off to the author

Yeah, his performance art is very good.

[King]

As for the suicide argument, even if you ignore the moral aspects (should people who want to kill themselves be obstructed by the government?)

[Deus Naturae]

As for the suicide argument, even if you ignore the moral aspects (should people who want to kill themselves be obstructed by the government?)

I honestly don't see what's strange about that statement. The idea that people have a right to commit suicide isn't that absurd, is it?

[King]

Euthanasia is fine, but suicide prevention in general being a rights violation is pure lolibertarian.

[Lief 🗽]

all time classic:

Cigarettes have no positive function in society.

I had a long day.  my wife wants me to stop at the grocery store to get dinner to cook as she's strung out on Valium and never gets off the couch.  I'm about ready to beat the bitch as I light up a smoke at 5:03pm as I get out the doors of my onerous workplace.  it's my first since noon; clears my head, calms me down.  I get a rotisserie chicken and find the strength to saute some asparagus.

never say never, son.

[True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자)]

Memorial Day Bushie?  Bushie has apparently decided to embrace Anzac Day.

Memorial Day Bushie starts in April.
Immediately after is 4th of July Bushie.
immediately after is Christmas Bushie.

Because his entire life is a giant holiday, it is fitting. 

  The only holiday he doesn't celebrate is Labor Day 

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Not sure if it's a faux pas to archive something that someone said in response to you but this was just too classic to resist.

Dude, just admit you think the gays are yucky and that's what this comes down to.

Dude, acquire an understanding of the nuanced arguments. I'm not going to support an expansion of specific performance for trivial bullsh**t like wedding cakes and flowers.

You can't blame the fascism of the radicalized LGBT community on the detractors of fascism. If the market is willing to supply a product, but you play the discrimination card to enslave someone you don't like, you're an HP is the truest sense of the word. The judge who allowed the remedy of specific performance is also an HP.

If you can't understand the situation, don't suffocate intelligent discourse with your undeveloped moralistic opinion.