The CrabCake Bureau of Funny Post Archival

[Antonio the Sixth]

? Wasn't intended to be a humorous post.

The best humour is always unintentional.

[Joe Republic]

His non-iPhone has a whole app just to turn on the flashlight setting?  How vintage!

[King]

Nearly all features in Android phones are their own app so you can customize the layout.

[Simfan34]

His non-iPhone has a whole app just to turn on the flashlight setting?  How vintage!

My Galaxy S4 has a widget that does that. I don't know what iPhones have.

[they don't love you like i love you]

My phone is also a Galaxy S4.

[Simfan34]

My phone is also a Galaxy S4.

Ah... but I actually have an S5. I keep on making that mistake for some reason.

[ElectionsGuy]

I find it sad that the lion died. He could have lived to devour all the MSNBC reporters who find this story more relevant than the Planned Parenthood scandal.

[Joe Republic]

Nearly all features in Android phones are their own app so you can customize the layout.

How messy!  And I'm scared to ask what a 'widget' is, so I won't.

[homelycooking]

Nearly all features in Android phones are their own app so you can customize the layout.

How messy!  And I'm scared to ask what a 'widget' is, so I won't.

A widget is a generic, theoretical unit of economic production, as in the classic economics problem:

"If Company A manufactures 4,000 widgets and Company B produces 10,000 widgets, causing moocher politicians to outlaw 'unfair competition' and confiscate 90% of widgets from both companies, how many hunky industrialists must Dagny f--- before the market equilibrium is reached?"

[they don't love you like i love you]

My phone is also a Galaxy S4.

Ah... but I actually have an S5. I keep on making that mistake for some reason.

Not a big deal as there's fundamentally little difference between the two.

[they don't love you like i love you]

Anyway Candy Crush can be fun. I don't ever pay for it but it's a welcome distraction waiting for the bus or on the light rail or waiting for an Ingress portal to cool down.

[TheDeadFlagBlues]

DO YOUR OWN ING HOMEWORK JACKASS!!!

[Simfan34]

"It will be the biggest, classiest tax increase this country has ever seen. I mean, you're just not gonna believe how amazing this tax increase is."

[Badger]

Nearly all features in Android phones are their own app so you can customize the layout.

How messy!  And I'm scared to ask what a 'widget' is, so I won't.

A widget is a generic, theoretical unit of economic production, as in the classic economics problem:

"If Company A manufactures 4,000 widgets and Company B produces 10,000 widgets, causing moocher politicians to outlaw 'unfair competition' and confiscate 90% of widgets from both companies, how many hunky industrialists must Dagny f--- before the market equilibrium is reached?"

Thank you Homly for posting this brilliance directly into the thread.

[Antonio the Sixth]

AIDS vs a cold.

Discussing it with BRTD might not be so bad since he can be pretty affable.  You might think "well, his taste in music is awful... but whatever"...

But then you meet Antonio and have a somewhat heated argument about gender and sex.  And you find you should be able to throw it off completely... after all you are comfortable with your gender and you have enough sex... this shouldn't be affecting you so badly... but the symptoms just get worse and worse the more Antonio keeps talking.  Before long, images of emo-violence and crusty unbathed masses of dudes wearing cargo pants and black food-bespecked band t-shirts with a beer in one hand and their other hand in their pocket start to flood your mind.  You start hearing people screaming bloody murder about how much they love Jesus while a guy with a face tattooed on his face ruptures his vocal chords in his quest for music nirvana (but not that nirvana)

And then it dawns on you.  Your defense mechanisms were completely destroyed in the interim by BRTD's bizarre music tastes.  WIthout you even knowing it...You have contracted BRTAIDS.  And an innocent argument with Antonio... something you should be able to fend off the way you flick a mosquito that has landed on your arm... now means certain death.

Thanks Obama.

[Јas]

Wow, did Lincoln Chafee use some of his spending money to buy a few supporters?

I don't know, but apparently his campaign managed to scrape together enough money to fly him to Iowa to attend the fair in person:

http://www.statejournal.com/story/29794300/the-latest-chafee-santorum-appeal-for-iowa-support

I don't know how they managed that.  Will they be able to raise enough $ to pay for a return ticket, or will he have to hitchhike back to Rhode Island?

Maybe he can carpool with Webb and O'Malley.

They might stumble into a debate in the car that isn't authorized by the DNC.

[MT Treasurer]

West Virginia is Likely R, but Clinton can win it by showing her roots to the South.

[traininthedistance]

Context:

Three inches long and 1/8 inch wide?  Got it.

[Antonio the Sixth]

this percentage is grossly inflated.

self-insert fanfictions don't count, guys. especially you, "hillary clinton and the 20-inch ice spear".

[Simfan34]

He likes appeasing radical islam, gun-grabbing, socialism, and Yugoslavian bimbos.

You're sounding worse than bobloblaw here...

You are right. I take back the part about Yugoslavia. He likes bimbos.

[Enderman]

It's in the 2016 Section, however, this post is quite good. The question is, in a classic 2016 Section move, "how can Perry make a comeback?". Answer?

1) Trump finally goes to jail
2) Bush flees the country
3) Rubio is found in a sex scandal
4) Walker has a mental break-down
5) Fiorina is adopted by the royal family and becomes next in line for the crown
6) Kasich joins NASA and creates a moon colony
7) Anthony Foxx steps down as Secretary of Transportation and is replaced with Chris Christie
Ted Cruz announces he is "a gay American"
9) Ben Carson wins the lottery and moves to Bermuda
10) Mike Huckabee admits he was really born in Russia
11) Rand Paul joins the marines
12) Rick Santorum announces his marriage to Ted Cruz

Then Perry is in!

[Enderman]

Sorry for the doublepost, however:

Welcome to the https://uselectionatlas.org Forum! You seem to be new here. We do not allow soliciting here. We also insist on some minimum degree of coherency from our posters. This may be different from forums you have posted on in the past, but don't worry! This forum also contains high-level insightful political commentary on subjects like who the best Vice President for Carly Fiorina would be and whether there is a Family Guy sketch that surpasses Sneakers O'Toole. If these insightful discussions pique your interest, I suggest you review the Terms of Service before posting your next thread. Thank you and I look forward to your participation on this forum in the future!

[NewYorkExpress]

hp b/c i don't know if he's "dar the bear" or "darth e-bear"

I've always assumed the latter.  He's a Sith lord bear who only appears online.

[The Other Castro]

If they came out, they'd probably be opposing Kim Davis.

[DavidB.]

Ehye hitt mye hed an now has bwain damge. Twump 4 Prez11!