The CrabCake Bureau of Funny Post Archival

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

The Gennifer Flowers bimbo eruption

Best 90s chick punk band ever.

[This account no longer in use.]

Is watching talking heads all day, especially Fox News, the only thing you do?

On the June 3rd edition of the Hannity show, Sean Hannity had this to say:

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David French spoke with Megyn Kelly on the June 6th edition of the Kelly File:

In an interview on the June 3rd O'Reilly Factor, David Morey and Scott Miller offered the following comments about the San Jose Trump protests:

Yeah, and I tend to agree with Marc Thiesson, who on the June 2nd Kelly File, said:

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Frank Luntz, speaking with Mike Huckabee who hosted the May 26th Hannity, gives an excellent summary of Trump's success:

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Will Trump continue to do well with the American electorate based on his persona? Or will Democrats find a way to make a case against that support (and if they do, how do they do that)?

[IceSpear]

After the henster ratio, we may need to create the SillyAmerican ratio for FOX inspired threads.

[IceSpear]

^A little late?

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

^A little late?

Probably "ctrl+f"ed people's posting history for "New Hampshire" and "NH".

[IceSpear]

^A little late?

Yeah, I know. I also tried to find the comment in which Rockie said that WV is still a "Democratic state at heart" that "loves Hillary". I bet there's nothing worse for Rockie than watching NH trend away from the GOP, while WV is becoming more and more of a GOP stronghold with every day.

Yeah, I think stuff like that + Trump and Cruz dominating the primary has really done a number on Rocky. He's been MIA for quite a while. I'd have been interested to see his reaction to the events over the past few months. Would he have taken the RINO Tom denial route? The Torie party switch route? The Green Line temporary Hillary hack route? Or something else entirely?

[Figueira]

^A little late?

It's never too late for bashing NH.

[President Punxsutawney Phil]

Your Obsession With Maggie Hassan Is Unhealthy: A 2020 Mini-Timeline
November 8, 2016: Trump has won New Hampshire. Ann McLane Kuster has been defeated by 2014 candidate Marilinda Garcia. Frank Guinta and Kelly Ayotte have won re-election. Chris Sununu has picked up the open Governorship. In her concession speech, Maggie Hassan announces that she will not run for President in 2020. Despite all this, you are still obsessed with Hassan running for President in the year she decided not to.

Donald Trump (R-NY) / Senator Jeff Sessions (R-AL) - 292/47.3%
Former Secretary Hillary Clinton (D-NY) / Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) - 246/47.4%
December 8, 2018: Former Governor Hassan re-iterates that she will not be running for President. You still aren't convinced, while literally everyone else is.
January 18, 2020: Going into Iowa, the Democratic field has been narrowed down to five.
Senator Elizabeth Warren (MA)
Governor Gina Raimondo (RI)
Senator Tim Kaine (VA)
Senator Mark Warner (VA)
Senator Martin Heinrich (NM)
June 16, 2020: The Democratic primary ends with no presumptive nominee.
July 15, 2020: Trump is renominated, but with Jeff Sessions retiring, he picks 77-year old Newt Gingrich.
July 22 - 24, 2020: No candidate is victorious at the DNC. The voting goes on for 16 ballots before former Governor Hassan is reluctantly drafted as the nominee. In her so-called acceptance speech, she announces that being nominated, she will not run, and if elected, she will not serve, instead endorsing Amy Klobuchar for the position. They misunderstand this, and nominate Klobuchar as VP.
November 3, 2020: As predicted, due to the one-way race, Trump sweeps.

President Donald Trump (R-NY) / Former Speaker Newt Gingrich (R-GA) - 535/66.8%
Former Governor Maggie Hassan (D-NH) / Senator Amy Klobuchar (D-MN) - 3/32.7%

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

It's obvious that OBUMMER the lazy Indonesian Kenyan Muslim Jew is working with ISIS to take over America!!!!!!!!!!! THat's why I need muh guns!

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

Clinton/Castro: 272 Electoral votes
Trump/Brown: 266 Electoral votes

Trump loses Utah, Florida, Arizona and Texas due to statements he made about Latinos and Romney. HOWEVER, due to Working class whites, Reagan Democrats and Trump's great relationship with the blacks causes him to win a lot of the rust belt and D. C.. However, Brian Schweitzer causes Montana to flip Democratic even though Schweitzer wasn't on the ticket. Swingy White voters causes Trump to win N. Hampshire and Maine. Trump loses Arkansas because Clinton. In the end, the 272 freiwall holds.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

10 Things That Prove Christianity and Islam Are Basically The Same Religion


1. Jesus and Muhammad were Middle Eastern dudes...


2. ...who received messages from GOD...


3. ...who were always getting themselves into situations...


4 ...and died in their books.


5. Their followers wear funny hats...


6. ...and kill each other sometimes...


7. ...and they don't all really like gay people...


8. ...and despite their grievances...


9. ...both religions promise happiness and paradise for everyone.


10. Okay, not everyone.


(Thanks, DC.)

[Kingpoleon]

He's perfectly conservative for Republicans, but his temperment would've been completely wrong so he decided to go full Huntsman and run as a pretend moderate. That strategy didn't work.

John Kasich once again proves that he is, above all else, a joke candidate. At least Jon Huntsman wasn't a sexist.

A somehow lamer Jon Huntsman.

Go Huntsman, don't sink just yet!

I think Huntsman is great, but no, he already left a position he was appointed to.

Flipping Flopping Maxwell - I suppose Max does well at flip flopping.

[Virginiá]

He's perfectly conservative for Republicans, but his temperment would've been completely wrong so he decided to go full Huntsman and run as a pretend moderate. That strategy didn't work.

John Kasich once again proves that he is, above all else, a joke candidate. At least Jon Huntsman wasn't a sexist.

A somehow lamer Jon Huntsman.

Go Huntsman, don't sink just yet!

I think Huntsman is great, but no, he already left a position he was appointed to.

Flipping Flopping Maxwell - I suppose Max does well at flip flopping.

Is the issue here that Maxwell changed his opinion of Huntsman since 2012? If so, it doesn't seem unreasonable for a person's opinion of a politician to change over 4 years. I am sure there are reasons.

[IceSpear]

"Trump os literally Hitler and would destroy the economy and ruin foreign policy and commit war crimes unlike any other president and cause the us to default and start a worldwide depression and risk the end of gloval capitalism. He is insane, crazy, racist, a bully, evil, mad, crass and the worst person ever . Still voting for him though, Hillary has emails"

Average NeverTrump

[Maxwell]

I don't think my opinion ever really changed on Jon Huntsman - an obviously conservative Republican who at least lives in the real world and is a bit lame but pretty normal. For a Republican in the 2000s, he's top tier.

Then again, Kingpoleon's list of non-conflicting posts is pretty humorous.

[Kingpoleon]

I don't think my opinion ever really changed on Jon Huntsman - an obviously conservative Republican who at least lives in the real world and is a bit lame but pretty normal. For a Republican in the 2000s, he's top tier.

Then again, Kingpoleon's list of non-conflicting posts is pretty humorous.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come off as aggressive. I was just reading old TLs and thought "Hey, didn't Maxwell hate on Huntsman quite a bit recently?"

Sorry. The worst part about this is that I didn't realize you were running for Governor until after I posted that. I was reading your old 2016 TL and two other ones by other people. You are a really great TL writer, you know.

[SUSAN CRUSHBONE]

I guess even a broken clock is still right twice a day.

Think of it more as a perfectly functioning clock, which has hands that stop at a given point once every second.

Must be a tough clock to tell time with, considering that both hands are small.

[Reginald]

If only they would have listened!

The Republican party should not run a candidate in 2016, and just get behind Gary Johnson as the LP guy.

[tmthforu94]

Virginia is not exactly favorable to the GOP right now

Yes, you've been quite vocal about not having a favorable opinion of them.

[Mike Thick]

OC would be interesting.

Just imagine getting drunk with OC.


LAST RODEO before removing by the bar security.

No one can do it like I can. As I roles out RED CARPET, EMPTYING the vodka bootle by bootle reaffirming Pink Roadrunner (state bird of the state of excitement)

Madam" Chelsea is better. I'd totally do her

That dude look like O Bucks state and John Glenn.

OJ Simpson didnt do it, as forensic evidence points to a f**king Slenderman did the crime of his fmr wife.

Stop Gun violence and legal drinking age♡

I was attacking Sabato not that random street Guy.

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

He will not. TRUMP is a democrat (with a small d).

Yes, he does have a small d.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Democrats:



#NeverTrump Republicans:



Ironic Trump Supporters:



Trump Supporters:



Posters from Other Countries:



Me:

[SUSAN CRUSHBONE]

As for the tranny question, yes I do believe I have enough guns and ammo to hold out at least a day.

Goodness me, the debate over bathroom access has taken a nasty turn.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Happy birthday don't die

[SUSAN CRUSHBONE]

Somebody asked over three hundred Edinburgh-area Grindr users their opinions on the referendum. Of these, Grindr User Stephen has pretty much my exact opinion.