The CrabCake Bureau of Funny Post Archival

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

Funnier for the spelling error than the post per se.

Trump has a huge ego, news at 11.

Dems need to find something to attack him with that 99% of Americans don't already know.

Next thing we're going to learn that Hillary was "bitchy" as fist lady of Arkansas.

[Kingpoleon]

Context:

It helps you see which threads to not bother reading.

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

(I don't actually agree with this, but I find it funny)

[LLR]

This is from FC, not sure if it counts, but:

Welcome back SG! You can replace me (by being a better poster)

The greatest tag team to ever ravage the Atlas! Degeneration Y!

[Virginiá]

Context: Is there a position for Trump in Hillary's White House?

Waxing White House cars like Biff in Back to the Future.

[Antonio the Sixth]

Context: Is there a position for Trump in Hillary's White House?

Waxing White House cars like Biff in Back to the Future.

Endorsed!

[Figueira]

I hear that a record 7.4 billion people won't be attending this convention.

[Santander]

Troll.

This isn't "Opinion of Ljube" thread.

[IceSpear]

Not all African Americans care that Duke supported Trump. Herman Cain doesn't.

[IceSpear]

Very corny: the shots, the scripted lines, all of it. Also, who is Mark Geist? I'm guessing he's someone who's famous in conservative circle-jerks over Benghazi? Nobody who isn't in those circles is going to be aware of him or care about what he says...or care about this non-issue, for that matter.

The people that the ad targets (Never Trump Republicans) will care.

A Venn diagram showing #NeverTrump Republicans and Benghazi enthusiasts would look very much like a hand-drawn illustration of some very full breasts.

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

I wonder if Lee and Cruz chill out together and watch My Little Pony on Netflix.

I giggled at the mental image

[Santander]

I wonder if Lee and Cruz chill out together and watch My Little Pony on Netflix.

I giggled at the mental image

If that mental image made you giggle, I'm not sure you understood the actual meaning of that...

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

Who said I didn`t?

[This account no longer in use.]

I'm gonna have to agree with Santander on this one. That is a nightmarish mental image right there.

[Tender Branson]

On the Austrian Constitutionnal Court ordering a re-vote today:

Time for EU sanctions until a reform of the Constitutionnal Court and full replacement of judges.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

I swear this is a picture of me. Pls no bully.

I doubted you at first, but I noticed something out of the corner of my eye and decided to enhance / clean up the picture a bit. Turns out you were telling the truth!

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Context:

He's a perv and would enjoy it.

[IceSpear]

lol at the idea that millenials don't care about their culture or heritage

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hipster_(contemporary_subculture)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernie_Sanders_presidential_campaign,_2016

[IceSpear]

Happy SD Farmers - 144
Happy FL Men - 142
Angry Scottish Men - 121
Angry White Male French Lumberjacks - 81
Racist WV Hicks - 26
Angry NH Women - 15
Content NV Hispanics - 6
Calm VT Men - 3

Angry Scottish Men have appeal in much of the Mid-Atlantic and South (plus the undecided voters in OH), while WV Hicks do well in the interior South. The Lumberjacks do well in the NE, and win AK by talking about how living an a cold climate makes you a stronger person. Content NV Hispanics and Calm VT Men are perfectly content and not concerned about winning states other than their own. The happiness of FL men spreads across the sun belt, though, and wins over a lot of voters. However, it still can't quite match the happiness of SD farmers, whose joy spreads across the Midwest (except for the unhappy voters in OH) and much of the interior west, as well as the Pacific Northwest. Angry NH Women only win MA by convincing voters there that Elizabeth Warren is also angry.

Well, that was fun. Time to do some actual work now.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

wow! I'm impressed, they've only been around for two years or so and they've made quite the impression. Bit of information on how great they are:

- they're fully committed to the destruction of culture. Trust me, they don't care about their ancestor's "cultural traditions" or the ancient Mesopotamian heritage or whatever, they're just rootless cosmopolitans from all over dedicated to building a Caliphate. Sweet!

- don't worry, they're not tedious old religious scholars. They're all young people who interpret the faith in the way they wish! Heck they're so tolerant they even have people who get their Koranic knowledge from a "For Dummies" book. Inspiring!

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

I say the word "sigh" all the time instead of actually sighing. Surely I'm not the only one?

No, my son does this as well and I'm getting tired of correcting him.  It's exceedingly annoying and it makes you look like a weirdo. 

Yet another reason not to support Clinton.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMU5C-fEXA8

He's a pretty good dancer.  I can't hear the words much because I'm in a chair at a waiting area near a gate at the airport and there's CNN blasting in one hear and Charlie Brown's teacher screaming in the other telling people not to leave their baggage unattended.  Weird effect too:

"Attention passengers....ISIS....we will begin our pre-boarding....in central Baghdad....for passengers who might need additional time....for planning terrorist attacks...."


I'm too lazy to dig the earbuds out, but it looks like a catchy tune.  There's also some jazz playing at Papi's bar just across the hall, but it's not the Louis Armstrong variety.  More of the Yani sort of music, so it's not pleasant at all.  It's okay, I'll be on the beach this afternoon.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

[Santander]

On the plus side, maybe Bill will show more interest in her now that she is barely legal

[Joe Republic]

^ I lol'd

[Santander]

Bobby Knight will be throwing Clint Eastwood's empty chair