The CrabCake Bureau of Funny Post Archival

[Joe Republic]

That was fantastic.

[LLR]

[snip]

That was fantastic.

Thanks guys!

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Best thing ever.

[Joe Republic]

Two days ago I read something that really ticked me off. When Bill Clinton was Governor of Arkansas, Hillary Clinton referred to some mentally challenged children as F****** retards. Hillary is a cruel woman.

She was overheard making that horrible remark when those mentally challenged kids were having an Easter egg hunt on the Governor Mansion's lawn. The children were having a hard time finding the eggs and Hillary became impatient and asked "When are they going to get those F****** retards out of here"? Mentally challenged people are human beings just like everybody else and they deserve to be treated with respect!

Hillary's supporters may become angry at me because of what I've written but it's the truth. The USA deserves and needs somebody better than Hillary.

Something that I read recently that really tocked me off. In 1871 poster Randy71  had his pet hamster rape a buterfly. Sex and violence of that scene are incredible. This forum deserves better than such a poster.

This morning I read something that really gave me a heart attack, which is why I'm posting this from the emergency room bed right now. In 1984, ag forgot to take out the trash. His dad almost tripped over it and twisted his anke. Family members deserve to be loved, not abused!

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Adolf Hitler
Posts: 1889


Political Matrix
E: 10.00 S. 10:00

"opinion of adolf hitler"
"don't agree with his views but nice guy ff "

[SUSAN CRUSHBONE]

It's okay, Tock and the Humbug will bail him out.

[Antonio the Sixth]

Context.

Harsh.

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

Context.

Harsh.

Nix wins this thread.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Plant -> Tree
National tree of Russia -> Birch
Birch -> John Birch
John Birch Society -> Trump

[Antonio the Sixth]

Context.

[This account no longer in use.]

Nah. AG wasn't at his peak there; his funniest posts are when he brings up that theory where moderate Republicans join the Democratic Party and the Sanders wing of the Democrats move to the Republican party because muh horseshoe theory.

[White Trash]

Nah. AG wasn't at his peak there; his funniest posts are when he brings up that theory where moderate Republicans join the Democratic Party and the Sanders wing of the Democrats move to the Republican party because muh horseshoe theory.

No ag is at his peak when his argument devolves into a d1ck measuring contest.

[Antonio the Sixth]

Nah. AG wasn't at his peak there; his funniest posts are when he brings up that theory where moderate Republicans join the Democratic Party and the Sanders wing of the Democrats move to the Republican party because muh horseshoe theory.

No ag is at his peak when his argument devolves into a d1ck measuring contest.

Personally, I think his peak was suggesting that Hillary was the best candidate Democrats could possibly have run, except for Andrew Cuomo.

[🦀🎂🦀🎂]

Nah. AG wasn't at his peak there; his funniest posts are when he brings up that theory where moderate Republicans join the Democratic Party and the Sanders wing of the Democrats move to the Republican party because muh horseshoe theory.

No ag is at his peak when his argument devolves into a d1ck measuring contest.

Personally, I think his peak was suggesting that Hillary was the best candidate Democrats could possibly have run, except for Andrew Cuomo.

Not when he suggested that the Greeks should sell the Parthenon to pay off their debts?

[Antonio the Sixth]

Nah. AG wasn't at his peak there; his funniest posts are when he brings up that theory where moderate Republicans join the Democratic Party and the Sanders wing of the Democrats move to the Republican party because muh horseshoe theory.

No ag is at his peak when his argument devolves into a d1ck measuring contest.

Personally, I think his peak was suggesting that Hillary was the best candidate Democrats could possibly have run, except for Andrew Cuomo.

Not when he suggested that the Greeks should sell the Parthenon to pay off their debts?

Oh right, I'd forgot about that!

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

This one's funnier without context:

To be clear, ideally this should end in you not having your balls removed. Thanks.

[LLR]

This one's funnier without context:

To be clear, ideally this should end in you not having your balls removed. Thanks.

There's very little context, to be fair

[mencken]

Please don't merge this with the other thread specifically on his wife. I know it's the same interview, but this encompasses more. I couldn't find the transcript so I made it myself.


Interview between Donald Trump and George Stephanopoulos on ABC News:


George Stephanopoulos — There was a man named Khizr Khan speaking at the Democratic Convention... his son, Captain Humayun Khan, was killed serving in Iraq and he has some very tough questions for you. He said you wouldn't have even let his son in America... [cut off]


Donald Trump — He doesn't know, he doesn't know that. I saw him, he was, you know, very emotional and probably looked like, uh, a nice guy to me. His wife, uh, if you look at his wife, she was standing there, she had nothing to say. She probably, maybe she wasn't allowed to have anything to say. You tell me, but plenty of people have written that. Uh, she, uh, she was extremely quiet and it looked like she had nothing to say. A lot of people have said that, uh, and personally, uh, I watched him, I wish him the best of luck George.


George Stephanopoulos — What would you say to that father?


Donald Trump — Well, I'd say we've had a lot of problems with Radical Islamic Terrorism, that's what I'd say. We have a lot of problems where, you look at San Bernadino; you look at Orlando; you look at the World Trade enter; you look at so many different things. You look at what happened to the priest over the weekend, in Paris, where his throat was cut. 85 year old. Beloved catholic priest. you look at what happened in Niece, France, a couple of weeks ago. Uh, I'd say, you gotta take a look at that, because something's going on and it's not good.


George Stephanopoulos — He said you've sacrificed nothing and no one.


Donald Trump — Well, that sounds, uh, who wrote that? Did, uh, Hillary's, uh, script writers write it?


George Stephanopoulos — How would you answer that father? What sacrifice have you made for your country?


Donald Trump — I think I've made a lot of sacrifices. Uh, I worked very, very hard, I've created thousands and thousands of jobs, tens of thousands of jobs. Uh, I think I've done a lot.


George Stephanopoulos — Those are sacrifices?


Donald Trump — Oh, sure, I think they're sacrifices. I think when I can employ thousands and thousands of people, take care of their education, take care of so many things, even in military, I mean, I was very responsible, along with a group of people for getting the Vietnam memorial built in downtown Manhattan, which, to this day, people thank me for. Uh, I raised, and I have raised, millions of dollars for the vets. I'm helping the vets a lot. I think my popularity with the vets is through the roof.


So in a single interview, Trump said that he would let the Khans into the country (false if he ban Muslims from entering the country), accuse Khizr Khan of silencing his wife (his wife said she didn't want to speak 'cause she gets emotional when she talks about her son's death), tell Khan that Islamic Terrorism is a big issue if he got to meet him, and say that he has sacrificed for the country because he has made jobs. Well done. I hope this wonderful man becomes president.

Why didn't Trump talk about the sacrifices he made dodging STDs? He's seemed very proud of it on previous occasions.

[IceSpear]

You must be logged in to read this quote.

Could have been taken from a seven year-old's assignment on presidents.

Yeah, he should have namedropped Chester A. Arthur to reach out to the autistic forum poster demographic.

[IceSpear]

Context.

Weekend show at 8:00 AM on MSNBC. She has editors from Vice Magazine and Vox on and they'll talk about how President Trump sucks and how the poo emoji is inherently racist.

[Kingpoleon]

At least slightly funnier without context:

Considering you post on Atlas, I'm going to remain skeptical about your "friends."

[Santander]

He was probably tempted to say "I love blacks!" In this picture.

[sparkey]

You must be logged in to read this quote.

Could have been taken from a seven year-old's assignment on presidents.

Yeah, he should have namedropped Chester A. Arthur to reach out to the autistic forum poster demographic.

But when we were rating Presidents, a clear majority of Atlas posters rated Arthur highly...

Oh.

[/]

BTW, is it just me or is it weird that 5% of their 'likely voters' say they would not vote?

[LLR]

Opinion of the oxford comma?

,