The CrabCake Bureau of Funny Post Archival

[Simfan34]

Only the leftist millennials hate Trump, and some conservative ones as well. Not all millennials are monolithic.

electrifying analysis

I can confirm this. Out of my five closest friends who are my age, only three of them are monolithic. The fourth is actually several different rocks, and the fifth is a pile of sand.

[Crumpets]

At this rate, I'm just waiting for the story where pigs fly.

Wait no more:

[RINO Tom]

I bet if you asked Jill Stein if she was into wicca she would find a way to avoid saying no.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

Philly.

[Virginiá]

TRUMP VS CLINTON
The Seriously? guide

Trump	Clinton
Wants unconstitutional ideological and religious tests for new citizens	VP once said her husband should have resigned over a scandal
Wants South Korea, Japan, and Saudi Arabia to become nuclear nations and doesn't understand why we can't use nuclear weapons to resolve minor geopolitical disagreements	Rewrote the section about sexual assault victims having a right to be believed on her website
Promotes withdrawing from NATO and abandoning Eastern Europe, and scrubs anti-Russian language from platform after campaign manager was paid millions to do work for Russians in Ukraine	Has illegal aliens registering voters for her
Advocates torture "much worse than waterboarding", war crimes, abandoning refugees, and excusing mass civilian casualties in order to defeat ISIS as official US policy	Had a charitable foundation where some people who donated were also among the billions who benefited from state department policies
Switches policies every other week and frequently reveals a complete lack of understanding of basic policy details or reality	May have murdered a DNC employee who leaked other people's e-mails
Scammed thousands of desperate and elderly in fake university, ruined tens of thousands of people's lives by bankrupting branded companies for personal profit, put thousands of Americans out of business by refusing to pay contracts	Once repeated public intel that Benghazi attack was inspired by a Youtube video

duh vote for Trump

[Badger]

TRUMP VS CLINTON
The Seriously? guide

Trump	Clinton
Wants unconstitutional ideological and religious tests for new citizens	VP once said her husband should have resigned over a scandal
Wants South Korea, Japan, and Saudi Arabia to become nuclear nations and doesn't understand why we can't use nuclear weapons to resolve minor geopolitical disagreements	Rewrote the section about sexual assault victims having a right to be believed on her website
Promotes withdrawing from NATO and abandoning Eastern Europe, and scrubs anti-Russian language from platform after campaign manager was paid millions to do work for Russians in Ukraine	Has illegal aliens registering voters for her
Advocates torture "much worse than waterboarding", war crimes, abandoning refugees, and excusing mass civilian casualties in order to defeat ISIS as official US policy	Had a charitable foundation where some people who donated were also among the billions who benefited from state department policies
Switches policies every other week and frequently reveals a complete lack of understanding of basic policy details or reality	May have murdered a DNC employee who leaked other people's e-mails
Scammed thousands of desperate and elderly in fake university, ruined tens of thousands of people's lives by bankrupting branded companies for personal profit, put thousands of Americans out of business by refusing to pay contracts	Once repeated public intel that Benghazi attack was inspired by a Youtube video

duh vote for Trump

Effin phenomenal post for the ages!

[IceSpear]

Educated, wealthy (yet humble!) liberals have invaded and made the state better.  This is, you see, the only reason any state votes Democrat, and it will eventually happen everywhere except for a select few designated hellholes (current draft includes WV, KY, TN, AR, OK; LA is up in the air, depends on how much fun DWS has in New Orleans on her next trip) the DNC shall designate as Republican holdouts.

[Santander]

I wonder if Seriously? jizzed in his pants when he saw this thread title.

Ummm. No. I am not a Democrat. I can do basic math. Your ridicule will get you nowhere.

[Antonio the Sixth]

May Averroes forgive my indolence, I went to see Ghostbusters yesterday. And it was perfectly fine. It had more than its fair share of funny jokes (the gross-out humor was annoying, but it wasn't too bad), had a fairly basic plot but with enough variations on it as to make it worth following, and likable characters. It also made the right decision in not pushing its "girl power" message, which would have made it ring hollow and cynical. Instead, it told more or less the same story it would have told with male characters, but with female ones - and I think that's exactly what's needed. A movie doesn't need to have a profound message to advance feminist causes, sometimes it just needs to be itself. So in a way it's kind of brilliant in its mediocrity.

And I really can't possibly understand why it would elicit any visceral hate for any reason other than sexism.

It's actually about ethics in Ghost bustin'.

[Murica!]

Biased of course but:

Terrible.

Though what's wrong with marxists.org? It's archive is really good and includes everyone from Marx to Proudhon to even a bit of Nietzsche.

Ugh who wants to have a free archive of classic works of philosophy and political science?

[Antonio the Sixth]

I don't know how true this is, but the image is hilarious regardless.

At least the Green Party is a party. CPUSA is made entirely of FBI agents who haven't realized they're spying on other FBI agents.

[Joe Republic]

Re: A 12-year-old is running a Trump campaign office in Colorado

I wish, I could have that job.

Not sure if self-aware, or...?

[Joe Republic]

Cortez Castro

[IceSpear]

Hitler was a vegetarian dog-lover who liked to paint, so IMO he's closer to Jill Stein IMO

[Antonio the Sixth]

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=244145.0

[Speed of Sound]

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=244145.0

Harambe is serious business, friend. CrabCake is a dang hero.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

 

Trump understands that Democrats and Mika's boyfriend answer with Alinsky-style ridicule.

is this some kind of refrigerator magnet set you recently bought

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

I try, as best as possible, to reflect the opinions of whomever I happen to be talking to at the time (fortunately I rarely get put in a position where I have to discuss politics) - ie I'm very measured and moderately supportive (although not to the extent where my comments are memorable) when I'm around friends who are involved in campus liberation stuff (anti-sexism and Pride and the like), whereas when I'm with friends from my home town I'm comfortably (although again, not excessively) on the casual bigotry banterbus.

Very good.

I myself ran into a spot of trouble on Friday night when a few friends stopped by and one srat chick I don't know that well started talking politics. Having already begun drinking, I was reasonably distraught that someone would wish to take me from my happy place to even talk about Donald Trump outside the sarcastic. This resulted in an "exchange of ideas" where I exposed my neo-fascistic/Stalinist sentiments to those assembled; at least one person was there who I'd rather have not know my actual viewpoints. Still a bit angry at myself for this.

Haha, of course, it's always problematic when you combine drinking and being around people who have strong political opinions - if I ever do say anything slightly off-colour I just pin on the alcohol or say it was humour.

I tend to dislike people casually discussing political views as if they're entitled to an audience that agrees with them. I also don't like to employ logic to solve the "problem" because I view modern political stances as being... "inadequate" and would rather just go the point of full absurdity rather than say something that sounded vaguely sincere. In this case, it resulted in me commenting on how I longed for the day when the working man got home from the steel mill and read his state-owned newspaper or listened to his state-owned radio, and how, while presidential candidates idiotically talked about increasing our freedom, they should instead be telling us how they'd make us work more. I can't remember what the chick was arguing, but it was something vaguely liberal, at the very least. Anything "political" at an alcohol-infused social event ought to consist of semi-sarcastic slogans, shouted. This was a wreck.

[Maxwell]

Why is this any less outrageous than the constant democratic assertion that conservatives are racist?

This double standard is atrocious on this board, but it should surprise NO ONE, considering 90% of you guys that post here are non-white graduate students in urban areas.

GET IT TOGETHER

cc: The Seriously? Theatre of Absurdity, Ignorance, and Bad Posts V

[IceSpear]

Bill Clinton's multi-million dollar donations to the Clinton Foundation allowed him to gain disproportionate access to Hillary Clinton, with reports of them being in the same room as each other on multiple occasions during each fiscal year of her tenure as secretary of state.  Their wanton, pay-for-play corruption knows no bounds.  #lockherup

[True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자)]

Bill Clinton's multi-million dollar donations to the Clinton Foundation allowed him to gain disproportionate access to Hillary Clinton, with reports of them being in the same room as each other on multiple occasions during each fiscal year of her tenure as secretary of state.  Their wanton, pay-for-play corruption knows no bounds.  #lockherup

Yet there is a kernel of truth there. If he weren't still useful to her, I wonder if they'd still be married to each other today.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

He says burkinis are a provocation. He is right. They provoke dimwit politicians to pass laws against them, which provokes greater antagonism in the society and threatens to become a recruiting tool for militants. Therefore we must stand with the dimwit politicians in their fight to stop them.

Sarkozy is an FF for standing up to the menace of supererogatory fabric against French values of Continental philosophy, smelly cheese, and ennui.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Context:

Anonymous sources claim that his mother was a hamster and his father smelt of elderberries.

[Kingpoleon]

Bill Clinton's multi-million dollar donations to the Clinton Foundation allowed him to gain disproportionate access to Hillary Clinton, with reports of them being in the same room as each other on multiple occasions during each fiscal year of her tenure as secretary of state.  Their wanton, pay-for-play corruption knows no bounds.  #lockherup

Yet there is a kernel of truth there. If he weren't still useful to her, I wonder if they'd still be married to each other today.

Opposites attract, so I think that someone as corrupt as her could stay with someone as honest as Rapin' Bill.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

OC never dissapoints

It depends on 2016, and the CRTs. He already extended the Voting Rights Act to Blacks and Women. If the CRTs go leftward and Obamacare continues he will be a Trailblazer, too.