The CrabCake Bureau of Funny Post Archival

[LLR]

Heh...I just realized that I forgot Illinois.  I was in Chicago a few summers ago to hang out with my brother, who was there to act in a play.  Ate at a fantastic pizza place, and at least got to see Wrigley Field before the major renovations (game was rained out...oh well). 

You take that back right now! *triggered*

Welcome to the University of Chicago. No safe spaces, no trigger warnings.

New York is my safe space. And, unlike Chicago, it has good pizza.

[Attorney General, LGC Speaker, and Former PPT Dwarven Dragon]

Dems will win 51 seats for sure even without NV, IN, NH, Pa, WI &IL.

Dems will lose all battlegrounds but still win!

[Хahar 🤔]

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[Antonio the Sixth]

LOL

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

The fact that Jills anti-science is a big turn off.

Unlike that esteemed scholar and fount of scientific curiosity Donald Trump?

[Attorney General, LGC Speaker, and Former PPT Dwarven Dragon]

Apparently OC is a far right winger now:

I hope Joe Miller wins.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

I've come to the conclusion that Hillary Clinton to Bernie Sanders IS the acceptable Overton Window. Absolutely nothing to the right if her or to the left of him is acceptable in any way. Actually come to think of it that sums up "all liberal all the time" pretty well...

[Clark Kent]

I've come to the conclusion that Hillary Clinton to Bernie Sanders IS the acceptable Overton Window. Absolutely nothing to the right if her or to the left of him is acceptable in any way. Actually come to think of it that sums up "all liberal all the time" pretty well...

I put it in the Bad Posts thread, because I feel like this fits better there.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

I've come to the conclusion that Hillary Clinton to Bernie Sanders IS the acceptable Overton Window. Absolutely nothing to the right if her or to the left of him is acceptable in any way. Actually come to think of it that sums up "all liberal all the time" pretty well...

I put it in the Bad Posts thread, because I feel like this fits better there.

I think it fits in both, with the caveat that the comedy is obviously unintentional.

[RFayette]

-Someone will get upset at this, but how is it "un-Christian" to advocate forcefully invading some place? That's how the "Promised Land" was taken, the general point of the Crusades, and to a certain extent how the land we're living on was taken by mostly-Christian colonists.

Yes, being a dick to minorities is, historically, a very Christian thing to do.

It's historically a very everybody thing to do.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I've come to the conclusion that Hillary Clinton to Bernie Sanders IS the acceptable Overton Window. Absolutely nothing to the right if her or to the left of him is acceptable in any way. Actually come to think of it that sums up "all liberal all the time" pretty well...

I put it in the Bad Posts thread, because I feel like this fits better there.

I think it fits in both, with the caveat that the comedy is obviously unintentional.

Obviously unintentional?

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

I've come to the conclusion that Hillary Clinton to Bernie Sanders IS the acceptable Overton Window. Absolutely nothing to the right if her or to the left of him is acceptable in any way. Actually come to think of it that sums up "all liberal all the time" pretty well...

I put it in the Bad Posts thread, because I feel like this fits better there.

I think it fits in both, with the caveat that the comedy is obviously unintentional.

Obviously unintentional?

If you were being sarcastic, then I'm surprised, but pleasantly so.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Like I said in that thread it was basically just a statement of frustration to how everyone outside that window has acted this election season.

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

Of course fat, lazy Westerners want cheap goods produced by tiny, Asian children.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

This is a message for African Americans,

Many people love to complain about Donald Trump's racism but what some people may not know is that Hillary Clinton is racist as well. Hillary was a member of the Goldwater Girls. The Goldwater Girl organization opposed the 1964 Civil Rights Act. She was a member of an organization that opposed equal rights for African Americans, And she had the gall to say that she is proud to have been a Goldwater Girl.

Also, Margaret Sanger said these following words: "Colored people are like human weeds and need to be exterminated". These are the words that Hillary said about Sanger: "I admire Margaret Sanger enormously, her courage, her tenacity, her vision". Hillary admires a woman who said that you should be destroyed.

Before you vote this November, please think about what I've said. Hillary is racist. I believe that she's more racist than Trump. Hillary doesn't care about you. She wants your votes but she doesn't care about you. If she did care, she wouldn't admire a woman who said that you should be destroyed.

[Virginiá]

Context: Will Hillary's fainting spell affect her in the polls?

I mean, she literally collapsed in the face of terrorism so that certainly isn't a good sign.

-

Even I have to admit that was clever

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

What color is the problem region? Black/white?

Tender is always going to blame it on the blacks.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Fellow Atlasians, I have some sad news.
Some of you may have known the poster "damian93" - he often stayed up late into the morning sunrise with me drinking Coronas and telling me tales of how much he loved posting on Atlas.
It is with tears in my eyes that I must share with you, his closest friends, that he caught pneumonia this afternoon and died immediately.

Łatwo przyszło, łatwo poszło.

Peace,
Lyin' Steve

[DC Al Fine]

In response to Matt Bevin's claim that Hillary's election would lead to bloodshed.

Of course it will.  The only question is in which country.

[Virginiá]

Context: Is Trump now the favorite?

Hillary's defeat, if it happens, will be "death by a thousand cuts", mostly from printed e-mail paper cuts. 

I'm really not trying to dump on my girl but there have been some good zingers floating around lately

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Hassan should climb to the top of it and take it down, Kander should take it out with a blindfold on, Flawless Beautiful Marco should dispel with the fiction that the trolls on that board don't know what they're doing, and Ernst should make it squeal.

[Antonio the Sixth]

Barry O'Bama (D-IL) is probably just some sleazy Irish corporate lawyer in the downtown area who voted for Rahm.

[Kingpoleon]

Clinton 307
Kasich 231

My guess:

Kasich/Rubio (or Martinez): 292 EV
Clinton/Kaine: 246 EV

Hilldawg: 223 EV
Kasich: 224 EV

[MT Treasurer]

Just went through marty/boshembechle's posting history a bit... guy should be a comedian.

How will the GOP gain two seats? Kentucky and Georgia will negate Dakota and WV. Hagan is safe in NC, Pryor is gaining ground in hogland, and Landrieu will coast to a victory because her last name is French.

They're going to lose in Georgia, NC, Arkansas, LA, Alaska, and Kentucky. At the VERY BEST it will be a net o.

Kentucky, Kansas, and Georgia, and SD all go to the dems. Republicans gain MT and WV. Everywhere else is D hold.

Another f'ing poll that chooses to not poll hispanics. What the hell is wrong with pollsters? It's going to be 2010 all over again.

Hispanics were 13%, yet there is no way in hell they are going to be less than 23% of the electorate.

Mellman is getting it right by choosing to poll hispanics. Quinnipaic, rassmussen, etc are NOT choosing to poll hispanic voters. It drives me insane.

2016 is not going to be pretty for republicans. It will prove that the so called "polarization" of America is largely a myth. Hillary might very well win the white vote, making her the first Democrat to do so in a long long time. And for those saying it is still early, all I have to say is that Jeb Bush and Christie have just as much name recognition as Hillary.

[Crumpets]

This just in: Trump says charity was 'just being sarcastic' when it paid for his legal problems