The CrabCake Bureau of Funny Post Archival

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Tony, please get a girlfriend. 

Don't listen to him, Tony. If you want to experience an excruciating pain, better stick your hand into fire.

He needs his hand right now........that's the problem, Kal. 

I just watched a movie where a person hears a voice in his head that narrates his whole life as if he were a fictional character, casting it in the most negative light. Thanks guys for giving me a vague sense of how that must feel.

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

No, the blue state Democrat Parties need to rename themselves as Communist Parties.

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

Have you ever heard of a photo op? You cannot be this naive.

I would have thought photo shop more likely, but whatever.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

D-NO = if u dont want the d
I-NO = if u smart
L-NO = LOLno (alternatively HELL NO)
S-NO = if its pretty white outside
O-NO = pretty clear

[LLR]

They were votes against the cartoon villains the major parties decided to nominate.

Dear major parties, next time give us more sophisticated villains like Obama and Romney.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

There is something quite forgiving about the USA when it comes to philandering politicians.

Have you ever heard of France or Italy?

Isn't an affair required there?

[RINO Tom]

Got a chuckle out of this, and I don't think I've ever copied something into here:

Mixed. Comes off as comically elitist, which can annoy some people. His totally misconstrued perception of RINO Tom is quite amusing though. RINO Tom is the exact kind of person who he thinks is becoming apart of the Democrstic coalition, but he keeps insisting Tom is a troll for some reason.

Well, even RINO Tom would admit he does troll, but singling him out as the definitive Atlas troll is ridiculous.

Jealous?

[heatcharger]

This forum has proved that VA has the worst Democrats in the country.

[White Trash]

Idaho, Nebraska, and Alabama. The unstoppable 99% democratic permanent majority will finally come to fruition and Republicans will be fortunate to win 1 electoral vote.

[Antonio the Sixth]

"I see on your CV, you are employed with a six figure salary straight out of leaving university?"

"No no, you got that wrong. It says I identify as an employed well-salaried individual"

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

People in KKK robes keep protesting inside the room and interrupting the hearing.

It's unfair for the cops to kick out Sessions' relatives, they just wanted to share this special moment with him.

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

He'll be back eventually. Not making judgments on whether that's good or bad.

After actually seeing it, very bad.

First direct calamity of Trump's victory.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

One issue of course is getting to where my girlfriend lives, since that would require traveling through a Trump state and many Trump counties. So my plan is to only get gas and food in Hillary counties. That basically means stopping in Eau Claire, and then filling up in Dane County along the way. Rockford would be OK too, since in the end Winnebago County narrowly voted for Hillary. But I'm not going to get out and set foot in any of the Trump counties that exist between Hennepin County and Lake County, IL. Ideally I could just boycott Wisconsin altogether but alas that wretched place has to be stuck between us.

This has however convinced me that everyone's hatred of the Green Bay Packers is 100% justified.

[RINO Tom]

One issue of course is getting to where my girlfriend lives, since that would require traveling through a Trump state and many Trump counties. So my plan is to only get gas and food in Hillary counties. That basically means stopping in Eau Claire, and then filling up in Dane County along the way. Rockford would be OK too, since in the end Winnebago County narrowly voted for Hillary. But I'm not going to get out and set foot in any of the Trump counties that exist between Hennepin County and Lake County, IL. Ideally I could just boycott Wisconsin altogether but alas that wretched place has to be stuck between us.

This has however convinced me that everyone's hatred of the Green Bay Packers is 100% justified.

Unintentional humor posts are always the best in here.  BRTD is literally insane, I can't even imagine how weird I would think a person who says things like this would be in real life.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Why don't you ask the posters who have met me in real life?

[RINO Tom]

Why don't you ask the posters who have met me in real life?

Nothin' personal, BRTD, just can't imagine how I would find myself liking or enjoying the company of someone who writes off everyone who is different from him that quickly.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Why don't you ask the posters who have met me in real life?

Nothin' personal, BRTD, just can't imagine how I would find myself liking or enjoying the company of someone who writes off everyone who is different from him that quickly.

One of them has the sane avatar as you and we had a fine time.

[RINO Tom]

Why don't you ask the posters who have met me in real life?

Nothin' personal, BRTD, just can't imagine how I would find myself liking or enjoying the company of someone who writes off everyone who is different from him that quickly.

One of them has the sane avatar as you and we had a fine time.

I'M REACHING HIM!

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

He has a play pen on AAD doesn't he? Why does he bring his filth over here?

He has made explicit that he posts on whatever tab he happens to be open on.

What a lackadaisical and childlike way of conducting one's self.

Meh, he's harmless.

Mostly harmless.

Basically he's Earth in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series.

[Mr. Morden]

Context...

I think he just really needed to poop. That's a classic "I need to poop" face.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

Context

The one about how awesome bible-burning is(sane, not an edgelord).

[RINO Tom]

Context:

It's Cubanophobia from the anti-Cuban party.

Greenline is quickly going up in my book.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

What if the hair dye is applied by Harambe in a transgender bathroom, and the color's so bright that it goes back in time and kills baby Hitler?  Is that morally acceptable?  Or does it all depend on the whims of Justice Kennedy?

good question, but you forgot to mention if it is moral to stop the train carrying the hair dye (therefor preventing Harambe applying it in the transgender bathroom and traveling back in time due to the brightness in order to kill baby hitler) by throwing a fat man off the bridge onto the train because an organ donor carrying healthy organs (which has a 50% chance of saving the doctor who will cure cancer, but a 30% chance of saving the leader of the Mafia who will kill your parents) will be crushed if the train is allowed to reach its destination because he is tied to the tracks by his lover, the fat man. The fat man also has dyed hair.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Yes, #1.

#1? Does that mean General Washington?

I'm not THAT old, It was Van Buren.

[Virginiá]

(context implied)

Either way, no takesies backsies! If you're chosen for moderator duties, you will oblige, or face the wrath of a slighted Leip.

We have actually had a couple of cases in the past where Dave made someone a mod without asking them if they were interested or not.  Thankfully we've moved away from that these last couple of years.

i'm dying hereeee