The CrabCake Bureau of Funny Post Archival

[Enderman]

Write-in: Flo the Progressive Girl

Eww.. Haha

Excuse me?

[Enderman]

"Awaken the Force, Luke - I've run out of lubricant!"

[Enderman]

That looks like an invasive species distribution map.

[Enderman]

"Have you ever met anyone else who hates Gone with the Wind and believes its right wing?"

Just about to post that. Though the thread as a whole is a goldmine.

[Enderman]

This post, I... I have no explanation.

How is Chester Arthur still in this?!

Is it because of his GLORIOUS MUTTONCHOPS?

https://www.facebook.com/pages/President-Chester-A-Arthurs-Glorious-Muttonchops/377342353985

[Enderman]

Context:

X Lief

And if the moderators "accidentally" ban him in the process... well, mistakes happen!

[Enderman]

Wow King, wow...

Let's all share some more controversial opinions. I'll go first: I like the taste of sugar.

[Enderman]

Why isn't Napoleon banned?

Because only Nym can ban him, and he hasn't logged on since this was uncovered.  He's on mod review for the moment.

Wait, we put Nym on mod review?

Unfortunate mishap.  Based on past experience with moderators being put on mod review, I can only conclude that it happened because he was making fun of ponies.

[Enderman]

Somebody shut his sucker DOWN!

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=208057.0

but more specifically, this:

Atlas, a place where Bushie has had more sex than most

Atlas, where Eastern Ukraine is more socially conservative than the western part

^Atlas is where Eastern Ukraine is socially conservative and western Ukraine is economically conservative

[Enderman]

One could say that his term has been quite a bore so far.

[Enderman]

This conversation is quite hilarious, but Morden just tops it all off.

Posting here has made no difference whatsoever to my friends.

I have never even mentioned that I post on here.

Tender Branson's friend: What are you doing?

Tender Branson: Oh, nothing.  This is just...uh....a website devoted to election maps.

Tender Branson's friend: What do election maps have to do with a topless Angela Merkel?

Tender Branson: What?  I thought that was a picture of Kim Jong-un's sister.

It's getting a bit old now ...

Really?  I don't think it's that old.  Maybe 15 years old, tops.

[Enderman]

Context is in the poll options at the start of the thread:

Hey Trues, don't blow this lead
Take the platform and make Lefter
Remember to let Hillary into your hearts
And then you can start, to make her Lefter

[Enderman]

Context:

The people of Kansas had a chance to "let it go" last November, but they turned it down.

[Enderman]

Context:

The people of Kansas had a chance to "let it go" last November, but they turned it down.

Sam brownback is nothing but a brown recluse who cant stick his venom in us so he sicks it on his own people.  A truly godless, evil man.  He and Frothy can both rot as far as im concerned.

Uh... the person that was being referred to was Pat Roberts, last time I recall. I didn't see anything about him in there

[Enderman]

Context somewhat needed:

It should be mentioned that, along "I voted" stickers, each voter receives a complimentary vomit bag. This lovely gesture is in use for making the voting process more comfortable for willing participants nationwide.

[Enderman]

Context:

It looks like a doughnut company's logo.

"O'M NOM NOM"

[Enderman]

Don't know whether to post this here, or the Sufur Mine. None the less, this is a gem:

Uh, I don't have my birth certificate at the moment...

Then it's probably in Kenya.

[Enderman]

Context:

Brian Schweitzer.

Bernie Sanders/Brian Schweitzer 2016-the only BS is in our initials

[Enderman]

Jeb Bush should be the first president to have multiple Vice Presidents (knowing the sheer awesomeness of the one and only Jebbers, I bet he could find a loophole somehow) :

-VP 1: Marco Rubio, in order to appeal to Hispanics
-VP 2: Ben Carson, in order to appeal to African-Americans
-VP 3: Carly Fiorina, in order to appeal to women
-VP 4: Barry Goldwater, in order to appeal to Jews who vote for non-Jews with Jewish-sounding names
-VP 5: John Kasich, in order to appeal to Ohio
-VP 6: Jeb Bush, in order to appeal to Florida
-VP 7: Bob McDonnell, in order to appeal to Virginia
-VP 8: Cory Garnder, in order to appeal to Colorado
-VP 9: Joni Ernst, in order to appeal to Iowa
VP 10: Brian Sandoval, in order to appeal to Nevada
-VP 11: Kelly Ayotte, in order to appeal to New Hampshire
-VPs 12 & 13: The Koch Brothers, in order to appeal to the Koch Brothers
-VP 14: Dave Leip, in order to appeal to the peoples of Atlas Forum
-VP 15: Small children, in order to appeal to Dennis Hastert and Catholic priests
-VP 16: Hillary Clinton, because she deserves it

[Enderman]

It's in the 2016 Section, however, this post is quite good. The question is, in a classic 2016 Section move, "how can Perry make a comeback?". Answer?

1) Trump finally goes to jail
2) Bush flees the country
3) Rubio is found in a sex scandal
4) Walker has a mental break-down
5) Fiorina is adopted by the royal family and becomes next in line for the crown
6) Kasich joins NASA and creates a moon colony
7) Anthony Foxx steps down as Secretary of Transportation and is replaced with Chris Christie
Ted Cruz announces he is "a gay American"
9) Ben Carson wins the lottery and moves to Bermuda
10) Mike Huckabee admits he was really born in Russia
11) Rand Paul joins the marines
12) Rick Santorum announces his marriage to Ted Cruz

Then Perry is in!

[Enderman]

Sorry for the doublepost, however:

Welcome to the https://uselectionatlas.org Forum! You seem to be new here. We do not allow soliciting here. We also insist on some minimum degree of coherency from our posters. This may be different from forums you have posted on in the past, but don't worry! This forum also contains high-level insightful political commentary on subjects like who the best Vice President for Carly Fiorina would be and whether there is a Family Guy sketch that surpasses Sneakers O'Toole. If these insightful discussions pique your interest, I suggest you review the Terms of Service before posting your next thread. Thank you and I look forward to your participation on this forum in the future!

[Enderman]

Hillary Clinton, let's be honest

darthebearnc actually likes Hillary Clinton?

*Thinking Crumpet's Crumpet dies