The CrabCake Bureau of Funny Post Archival

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https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=203334.0

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I chuckled. Well done, Joe.

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I'm also in favour of setting up an "Atlas Court", in which I will file an action for injunction with regards to the smear campaign and false allegations against me by Kalwejt and Grumps.

This needs to be stopped, because new (and current) posters might get a false impression of me !

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Vox populi/Aizen/PandaExpress again proves himself to be best poster:

Tom Wolf awoke to the sound of a flurry of bats. He groaned and got up. He longed for the days when he was governor.

"I long for the days when I was governor" Tom Wolf muttered.

His beard was very long and he was very unkempt. It was the year 2020.

In 2016, Hillary Clinton ran for president. She picked New York Governor Andrew Cuomo for her running mate. Immediately upon being taking the oath of office, she cackled maniacally. Hahaha, you fools! I was once a registered Republican! And I still am! And my running mate is a Republican too! Now all you Democrats will go the way of the dodo! My right-hand man, Andrew Cuomo, will see to it that all Democrats are expunged from this land!



 All Democratic lawmakers were given a choice - covert to the GOP or die.　Many chose death, although a few converted. All Democratic governors were rounded up and shot (there was only like 5 remaining Dem governors in 2016, but still) and replaced with Andrew Cuomo goons. From state senator to mayor to dogcatcher, all Democrats were purged.

Tom Wolf clenched his fist into a ball. "Cuomo! Damn him!"

FLASHBACK - February 2016

Philadelphia was in ruins. Fire and explosions were everywhere.

"Governor Wolf, they're coming! The Governor's Mansion is under siege!"

"Yes, this could be the end. If you want to leave, now is the time."

"No way sir. You are a massive baller. I'll go down with you"

The door broke was kicked in. Suddenly, a bunch of Rethuglicans in riot attire entered the room with guns pointed at Wolf.

Tom Wolf kicked the gun out of one of the goons hand and took it and shot him. He killed all the GOP goons all cool like.

"Haha, the GOP has got nothing on me!"

"Wow, Tom Wolf, you're amazing."

Just then, a shadowy figure entered the room.

It was Andrew Cuomo.

They engaged in hand to hand combat, but Andrew Cuomo blocked every one of Tom Wolf's attacks.

Tom Wolf began panting heavily.

(Oh, and Andrew Cuomo plucked out Tom Wolf's eye during the fight. So he now wears an eyepatch btw)

"You were a tough nut crack, Wolf. But it's over. Any last words?"

Tom Wolf threw a smokebomb and escaped into a cave. He's been living there ever since.

"Run. Run away and never return!"

Tom Wolf was the last Democrat. The GOP now ran everything. Because of this, the USA was in shambles.

Just then Andrew Cuomo heard a knock on the door. He opened it up.

It was a woman in a cloak.

"Tom Wolf?"

"It's been ages since I last heard that name... but yes, I think that's what they used to call me"

"My name is Zephyr Teachout. And I need your help to overthrow Clinton and Cuomo, defeat the GOP and restore the Dems to power."

Tom Wolf clenched his fist into a ball. "Cuomo! Damn him!"

"Ok, let's do this"

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I'll get back on the Revolution tomorrow. I did nothing wrong at Best Buy. I don't feel bad at all. Plus, oakvale, it's Black Friday. It's no fun to be communist this weekend. I wanted to enjoy my shopping spree with the $400 ham I wanted to eat and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.  If you don't like it, then shut up and let me live my life.  I am still following the challenges Marx set forth.  Yes, I had a slip up tonight, but I have not completely blown it.

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Incredible what kind of stuff turns up in our basements:

The 300-year-old skeleton of a camel used by the Ottomans to invade Vienna has been identified by Austrian researchers after its discovery in a refuse pit.

The complete, preserved skeleton was rescued from an abandoned pit in Tulln, a Lower Austrian town on the banks of the Danube in 2006, prior to the construction of a shopping centre.

Researchers believe that the male camel was used as a riding animal during the 17th-century Osmanic-Habsburg wars, when the Ottoman empire sought to expand throughout central Europe. The animal may have died during the Siege of Vienna in 1683.

The findings were published yesterday by scientists from the University of Veterinary Medicine in Vienna in scientific journal PLOS One.

The finding is unique in being the first complete camel skeleton to be discovered in central Europe.

“The animal was certainly exotic for the people of Tulln. They probably didn’t know what to feed it or whether one could eat it,” said Galik.

Since the entire skeleton was preserved, Galik said the camel could have been traded as part of an exchange rather than being killed for food.

The Ottoman empire emerged in the 14th century and peaked under Suleiman the Magnificent in the sixteenth century. The empire twice failed to take Vienna, the second time in 1683. It was effectively extinguished in the aftermath of the first world war.

http://www.newsweek.com/300-year-old-ottoman-camel-skeleton-discovered-austria-319010

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American liberalism sure is in sorry shape when you guys are actively trying to claim the biggest liberal hater of 20th Century American politics as 'the last liberal President', or whatever this insane exercise is. No, Richard Nixon's first term was not good, and neither was his second. Nixon was a criminal of the highest order whose actions resulted in the deaths of hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of people in Southeast Asia. Nothing else that he was forced into enacting by the mass social movements of the time comes close to making up for the fact that he was a war criminal by any measure.

Dec 25 1991 is one of the best day in history as the Soviets fell that day

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Beautiful

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Tbh I and others have made the answe many times on both Atlas forums, a collective wealth of words that has been ignored by Atlas's "community" of neckbeard rapist misanthropists, a community consisting soley of you, you piece of human trash. Responding to reasoned argument isn't fun for a little drip like you, I guess, so you continue to breather on as if you are the world's densest most impenetrable being. I don't buy that act, you inbred POS. Jump in a lake and logoff forever you useless loser.

Even when making personal attacks Crab is hilarious XD

Lol thanks. That was done partially under the influence (but at least I didn't go "full politicus").

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'He who feeds you, controls you' - Bernie Sanders

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352: Fmr. Amb. Jon Huntsman, Jr.(I-UT)/Businessman Greg Orman(I-KS) - 36.9%
93: Businessman Donald Trump(R-NY)/Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-AL) - 30.0%
93: Sen. Bernie Sanders(D-VT)/Rep. Keith Ellison(D-MN) - 29.2%

After both mainstream conventions are held, the two traditional candidates tried to use abortion and gay marriage as wedges against the independent Huntsman. In response, Huntsman cited his foreign policy experience and called for "Unity, Not Political Wedges" on the third and final day of America's Convention:
October 5, Columbus Day. With the pro-choice Greg Orman on one side and the anti-SSM Ben Carson on the other side, Huntsman stated "Now, together, united, not divided, not under any parties labels, we will heal America'. I ask for your support in healing America and restoring hope. Now, as our convention ends, I do not say good bye, but see you later - because, when I see you, I expect you to join me and talk to me, and this help me restore hope and heal America. God bless you, God bless New York City, and God bless the United States of America!" Clips of his speech aired in ads and his song entitled "A Change To Come Over America" would help win the election, and the hearts and minds of the American people.

"Thus the Year of the Outsiders ended with the election of a true outsider - the first independent President in nearly 250 years."

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Got a Busch. Nine more in my fridge. My roommate might claim some. Have a chapter meeting at 9:30, so I'll only be drinking the one or two until I get out.

How can you do that if you're underage?

like the classic Lebron post!

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I heartily endorse the suggested name change.

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Context (this is an AAD post that must be xposted): HD uses the phrase 'fistbump'. Winjammer responds:

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Nah. AG wasn't at his peak there; his funniest posts are when he brings up that theory where moderate Republicans join the Democratic Party and the Sanders wing of the Democrats move to the Republican party because muh horseshoe theory.

No ag is at his peak when his argument devolves into a d1ck measuring contest.

Personally, I think his peak was suggesting that Hillary was the best candidate Democrats could possibly have run, except for Andrew Cuomo.

Not when he suggested that the Greeks should sell the Parthenon to pay off their debts?

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Are conservatives on this forum aware that it's 5777?

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Status quo remains on the Crt until 2020 with Kennedy retires and the House and Senate stay in GOP hands and tax penalty removed from hardship of the ACA of the working poor.

Immigration reform in a boarder fense.  All passed by 2020.

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I wasn't aware that modern political philosophy was even remotely significant. What impact has it had on people who aren't philosophers again?

hahahaha omg

Anti-intellectualism is a hell of a thing.