The CrabCake Bureau of Funny Post Archival

[Kingpoleon]

The weirdest thing about that is the states Sanders wins.

You mean my "Southern minority turnout high for Sanders" joke was lost on everyone? Oh well.

[Kingpoleon]

Of course it does but I strongly disapprove of it. Women are the superior gender.

OK if a man stripped me, spanked me, whipped me, poured candle wax on me and then made me suck and lick his feet, that'd be a horrifying and traumatic experience.

But when a woman does that...oh YEAH.

Find God.

Now, why on earth would you wish that to God?

[Kingpoleon]

...Should we tell him yet?

Meh, why bother?

His irony used to be hilarious, but now it's just getting annoying.

[Kingpoleon]

Kind of interesting how both posters named after Lyndon Johnson are trash.

The Johnson-Nixon-Carter era had two terrible people great at governing and one great person absolutely terrible at governing. Thankfully, Gerald Ford was around back then for a bright light.

[Kingpoleon]

What would the '271 freiwal' be, anyways?

He's a Democratic Elector intending to defect.

[Kingpoleon]

I actually plan on going to see Jimmy Carter in a few weeks as well. Apparently (as I'm sure you know) he has a Sunday School class every so often in his hometown that's open to the public.

I have some friends that have been (even though they're Republicans).  They say it is a really cool experience!

Requirements to be ExtremeRepublican's friend:
- Be a Republican
- Go to a church at least as conservative as Jimmy Carter
- Be extreme

[Kingpoleon]

Context

The only thing that stops a bad guy with a shovel is a good guy looking for a shovel hidden behind several flags.

See McDermott?

Get 'im out, get 'em out of here! Use that shovel!

[Kingpoleon]

He's perfectly conservative for Republicans, but his temperment would've been completely wrong so he decided to go full Huntsman and run as a pretend moderate. That strategy didn't work.

John Kasich once again proves that he is, above all else, a joke candidate. At least Jon Huntsman wasn't a sexist.

A somehow lamer Jon Huntsman.

Go Huntsman, don't sink just yet!

I think Huntsman is great, but no, he already left a position he was appointed to.

Flipping Flopping Maxwell - I suppose Max does well at flip flopping.

[Kingpoleon]

I don't think my opinion ever really changed on Jon Huntsman - an obviously conservative Republican who at least lives in the real world and is a bit lame but pretty normal. For a Republican in the 2000s, he's top tier.

Then again, Kingpoleon's list of non-conflicting posts is pretty humorous.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come off as aggressive. I was just reading old TLs and thought "Hey, didn't Maxwell hate on Huntsman quite a bit recently?"

Sorry. The worst part about this is that I didn't realize you were running for Governor until after I posted that. I was reading your old 2016 TL and two other ones by other people. You are a really great TL writer, you know.

[Kingpoleon]

Context:

It helps you see which threads to not bother reading.

[Kingpoleon]

It appears Kingpoleon drastically overestimated public support for his coup. We can only hope TNVolunteer doesn't use this as an excuse to become even more obtuse.

In my defense, I thought I was imitating the great Tom Cotton, not Gulen.

[Kingpoleon]

At least slightly funnier without context:

Considering you post on Atlas, I'm going to remain skeptical about your "friends."

[Kingpoleon]

When they banned "Kill yourself", I said nothing because I didn't say that to anyone. When they banned DIAF, I didn't say anything because I didn't insult anyone that way. When they banned "geez, you are an ignoramus facist", there was no one left because Forum had become Stormfront 2.0 and Classic Conservative was a Mod Admin.

BRTD loves his hyperbole. Fascists to the right of him, communists to the left of him, stuck in the middle with nobody else.

[Kingpoleon]

When they banned "Kill yourself", I said nothing because I didn't say that to anyone. When they banned DIAF, I didn't say anything because I didn't insult anyone that way. When they banned "geez, you are an ignoramus facist", there was no one left because Forum had become Stormfront 2.0 and Classic Conservative was a Mod Admin.

BRTD loves his hyperbole. Fascists to the right of him, communists to the left of him, stuck in the middle with nobody else.

That's not a BRTD post, but you're completely correct.

It was mocking BRTD.

[Kingpoleon]

No one from the Republican Party is going to join Johnson on a ticket.

[Kingpoleon]

Bill Clinton's multi-million dollar donations to the Clinton Foundation allowed him to gain disproportionate access to Hillary Clinton, with reports of them being in the same room as each other on multiple occasions during each fiscal year of her tenure as secretary of state.  Their wanton, pay-for-play corruption knows no bounds.  #lockherup

Yet there is a kernel of truth there. If he weren't still useful to her, I wonder if they'd still be married to each other today.

Opposites attract, so I think that someone as corrupt as her could stay with someone as honest as Rapin' Bill.

[Kingpoleon]

David Duke: National leader of the KKK in the 1980s

Byrd: Leader of the KKK in a town with a hundred people in the 1950s.

CC: The Seriously? Theatre of Absurdity, Ignorance, and Bad Posts V

Small KKK bands in the 1950s when segregation was pretty popular nationwide>little impact national KKK bands in the 1980s with segregation being massively unpopular?

Granted, most people in the South probably harassed Catholics and blacks in the 1920s/1930s, but doing it during the beginning of the fight against segregation is completely different.

[Kingpoleon]

David Duke: National leader of the KKK in the 1980s

Byrd: Leader of the KKK in a town with a hundred people in the 1950s.

CC: The Seriously? Theatre of Absurdity, Ignorance, and Bad Posts V

Small KKK bands in the 1950s when segregation was pretty popular nationwide>little impact national KKK bands in the 1980s with segregation being massively unpopular?

Granted, most people in the South probably harassed Catholics and blacks in the 1920s/1930s, but doing it during the beginning of the fight against segregation is completely different.

It's absurd because Byrd had already left the Klan by the 1950s. Integration still had more virulent opposition in 80s Louisiana than it had in most of WV in the 1950s though. In any case I don't know how any of this counts as funny.

West Virginia gave Wallace 9.6% of the vote in 1968. In 1964, a similar third partier from West Virginia got a similar amount of the vote as Rarick, from Louisiana, did nationwide in 1984.

[Kingpoleon]

What kind od "concerts" are you talking about here?

Probably the one he gives his girlfriend to her other boyfriend at. Suspiciously, sometimes she stays with the other boyfriend much longer than with BRTD.

In her defense, BRTD's empathy has some issues.

"I'm sad about my grandfather dying."

"Well, if I were you, I'd become an obsessive, socially awkward male and my grandfather would still be alive."

[Kingpoleon]

Clinton 307
Kasich 231

My guess:

Kasich/Rubio (or Martinez): 292 EV
Clinton/Kaine: 246 EV

Hilldawg: 223 EV
Kasich: 224 EV

[Kingpoleon]

Ftr, resume alone doesn't make one automatically "qualified"

He was showing a Gary Johnson a potential strategy called The Leppo.

[Kingpoleon]

Good to see "Misty" getting clobbered!

It's a politically incorrect joke.

[Kingpoleon]

In 2016, Hillary Clinton will be old hat.

By then, it will be time for a new generation of up and coming Democrats to seize control of the party.

How about rising star Senator Mark Udall of Colorado?

[Kingpoleon]

Good to see "Misty" getting clobbered!

It's a politically incorrect joke.

hey would you mind explaining the joke to me? i'm not sure i get it.

He's a transphobic bigot who likes to see transgender people get clobbered.

[Kingpoleon]

I'll never be ready for Hillary, but I am ready to keep Trump out of the White House.