The CrabCake Bureau of Funny Post Archival

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

Cool Cats Party (Chairman Sanchez): 0 Seats, 0.00% of the popular vote.
Shrillery Party (Shillery Killtons): 0 Seats, 0.00% of the popular vote.

Neither of us are British. No one wins. Queen appoints Prince Charles PM. 270 firewall, etc.

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

That's definitely a post that belonged somewhere.  Whether it was this thread, the Theatre, or the Gallery, well I wasn't really quite sure.

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

Bernie could commit suicide and Atlas would still lambast "the senile old man" for taking the spotlight away from Hillary.

It would be typical of Bernie to take the selfish way out.

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

What does Hillary need to do in order to appeal to more White men?

1 - state that the democrat position on abortion is a historical aberration and that as the party of the small people - the weak and the helpless that she supports the Texas bill for restriction on all abortions after 20 weeks as a 'reasonable compromise'.

2 - state that Oberfell was wrongly decided and that the Democrat party should return to it's roots of representing America in general, not the special interests of a small band of urbanites.

3 - state that she'd appoint supreme court justices with the motivation to overturn both Oberfell and roe.

Running to the right of Trump would win her the election easily.

That isn't funny, that's just a fundie jacking off to his unrealistic fantasies.

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

I keep seeing this thread and imagining Trump criticizing "Dying Bob."

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

I'm actually really scared about the idea of a race war right now.

I doubt Minnesota would see much action on that front.

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

Good afternoon, class.

Here's 2012 presidential results from West Virginia. As you can see, Romney got a whooping 62.14%



Now, such a mega victory couldn't be possibly contained to just one small state such as WV. A landslide such as this is bound to splash all over the place.

Under normal circumstances, Romney's megacoattails from West Virginia would be enough to make Maryland, which is just around the corner, competitive. But, because of Obama's even more mega victory in D.C. (90.91%)



Romney's megacoattails were largely canceled, allowing Democrats to narrowly hold Maryland by 61.97%



I mean, you can just see West Virginia megacoattails crossing the state line in the Panhandle.

Now, you may ask what happened to Obama's mega coattails in Delaware. Why there was no effect on Maryland? The answer is simple, these coattails commuted from New Castle County to Philadelphia via Amtrak.

 +  =

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

OH GOLLY GE WHIZ GUYS. OH SHUCKS, OH BOY. DID I JUST WIN OHIO. JEEZ OH MAN! THIS IS JUST NUTS!!!111!!!1!!

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[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

RealDonaldTrump
TheGreatest
Posts: 46



Political Matrix
E: 4.18 S: 5.76


TedCruz
TexasTed
Posts: 787



Political Matrix
E: 9.06 S: 8.92


Little Marco
MarcoRubio
Posts: 424



Political Matrix
E: 4.76 S: 6.05


Kasich16
Kasich00
Posts: 6516



Political Matrix
E: 3.67 S: 1.18


DrCarson
BreinSrugry!
Posts: 3




Memorial Day Jebbie
BushFlorida
Posts: 267



Political Matrix
E: 6.54 S: 0.42


UncleGilmore
Posts: 443



Political Matrix
E: 4.41 S: 3.26


CC
Christie Time
Posts: 60



Political Matrix
E: 2.06 S: 5.72


HP
Carly Fiorina
Posts: 1




Rand
StandWithRand
Posts: 13060



Political Matrix
E: 7.22 S: 0.88


Frothy
SantorumPA
Posts: 6



Political Matrix
E: 10.00 S: 10.00


Mike Huckabee, Bass God of the South
Huckaboo
Posts: 6020



Political Matrix
E: 7.87 S: 9.41


Pataki
Posts: 30771



Political Matrix
E: 1.12 S: -0.56


Hawk
Lindsey Graham for Senate
Posts: 3404



Political Matrix
E: 1.76 S: 4.22


Piyush
BobbyJindal
Posts: 110




3 Elections in 4 Years!!11!!
ScottWalker
Posts: 1822



Political Matrix
E: 6.45 S: 5.88


wOw
Rick pErry
Posts: 5102



Political Matrix
E: e.6d S: r.57


Queen Hillary
HClinton
Posts: 25662



Political Matrix
E: -3.87 S: -7.11


Uncle Bernie
FeelTheBern
Posts: 20705



Political Matrix
E: -9.67 S: -9.44


Marshmallow
MartianOMalley
Posts: 6406



Political Matrix
E: -4.66 S: -4.23


Dixiecrat
JimmyWebb
Posts: 204



Political Matrix
E: -4.02 S: 2.67


Gee Whiz
Lincoln Chafee
Posts: 2





LLessig
LarryLessig
Posts: 306



Political Matrix
E: -7.78 S: -8.08


Gary
Gary
Posts: 9420



Political Matrix
E: 5.67 S: -5.12


Angry MA Woman
JillStein
Posts: 98



Political Matrix
E: -10.00 S: -10.00

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

This one's funnier without context:

To be clear, ideally this should end in you not having your balls removed. Thanks.

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

When they banned "Kill yourself", I said nothing because I didn't say that to anyone. When they banned DIAF, I didn't say anything because I didn't insult anyone that way. When they banned "geez, you are an ignoramus facist", there was no one left because Forum had become Stormfront 2.0 and Classic Conservative was a Mod Admin.

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

King has already predicted how this ends.

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

Chief Magistrate JCL JohanusCalvinusLibertas        YaBB God ★★★★★ Posts: 6410

Re: BREAKING: 20 Witches Discovered in Salem Town, Investigation Pending « on: March 01, 1692, 11:23:47 pm » Actually, what you call a trait is a lifestyle choice. One which counters the natural order of who you were made to be as middling sort. The science that says being left handed is natural in some is highly questionable at best.

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

This is a message for African Americans,

Many people love to complain about Donald Trump's racism but what some people may not know is that Hillary Clinton is racist as well. Hillary was a member of the Goldwater Girls. The Goldwater Girl organization opposed the 1964 Civil Rights Act. She was a member of an organization that opposed equal rights for African Americans, And she had the gall to say that she is proud to have been a Goldwater Girl.

Also, Margaret Sanger said these following words: "Colored people are like human weeds and need to be exterminated". These are the words that Hillary said about Sanger: "I admire Margaret Sanger enormously, her courage, her tenacity, her vision". Hillary admires a woman who said that you should be destroyed.

Before you vote this November, please think about what I've said. Hillary is racist. I believe that she's more racist than Trump. Hillary doesn't care about you. She wants your votes but she doesn't care about you. If she did care, she wouldn't admire a woman who said that you should be destroyed.

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

Opebo 26:11 "The poors you will always have with you, but you will not always have me."

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

How to survive the debates with sanity intact:

For this you will need:
   • one room which you will not leave
   • one mattress
   • tomato soup, ten tins of
   • mushroom soup, eight tins of, for consumption cold
   • ice cream, vanilla, one large tub of
   • Magnesia, Milk of, one bottle
   • paracetamol
   • mouth wash
   • vitamins
   • mineral water
   • Lucozade
   • pornography
   • one bucket for urine, one for feces, and one for vomitus
   • one television
   • Valium, one bottle

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

NC:
Clinton 44
Trump 43
Johnson 7

https://www.scribd.com/document/325392521/North-Carolina-September-24-2016-v7#from_embed
 
oh sh**t... I checked demographics. which is skewed for TRUMP.  and he is losing.
(White 81 Black 10 ........)

it could be adjusted something like Hillary 49 TRUMP 40 

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

Unintentionally funny, but funny regardless:

Here is the best-case 2018 scenario:

R+16

And, the best case 2016 scenario is R+1 (NV the only flip), but that would probably put Trump over the top, making this 2018 map impossible, so we will use 2016 being EVEN (with Kirk losing) as a benchmark.

That gives us a Senate for the 116th Congress of 70 Republicans and 30 Democrats, plenty enough to override any veto.  But, this would require us winning literally any conceivably winnable race.  With that said, the 10-seat margin of error is promising to me!

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

Really want Teachout to be stopped. Makes me sick when an extreme progressive moonbat wins a swing seat. The bright side is that they are easier to knock off.

Agree, But the same is true when ultra-right winger wins swing seat. Ultra-rightists and ultra-leftists have more then enough possibilities in "safe" seats. Swing seats "belong" to reasonable moderates))))))

I'm tempted to make a joke about those half-dozen parentheses, your obsession with reasonable moderates, and bronz's obsession with soothing Midwesterners.

Do it. And i will make a joke about "progressive obsession" - absolute confidence that only they know what's right, their unsatiable desire to "make happy" all other people (even when these people absolutely don't ask for their "help"), and number of other "progressive features". The "idealistic left" is second category i dislike most (after fanatic right)....

P.S. The only question - what for??? I like progressives in progressive districts, conservatives - in conservative, and moderates - in swingy. IMHO - that's much more natural then somebody's desire to get everything, and then "to show much favor" (according to OWN standards) reputedly "to all"))))))))

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

WTF? How is Trump leading in Los Angeles?

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

I might be repeating what others have said (new to the forum), but I would like to chime in.  I am a born again Christian.  I believe in God the Father and that he sent his Son Jesus Christ to die for us and our sins (not to condemn us all to hell).  Do we as Christians, REALLY live like Christ? No, we ALL fall short of the glory of God.  We ALL have sinned and need to ask forgiveness everyday.  With that being said, let me compare Trump and Hilary a little.  Trump-Pro-life.  Hilary-supports Pro-choice (while I understand it is a woman's right to do what she wishes with her body, it is STILL wrong to kill an unborn HUMAN being.  Let the child LIVE and put it up for adoption).  Trump-Cusses and degrades women (Not Christlike at all but has apologized and been remorseful).  Hillary-a liar and full of deceit(even the FBI has been involved-email scandal-makes you wonder what else she is hiding that could destroy humanity).  This is to just name a few.    Neither of them seem to be the right choice, but if you check the platforms and vote for your choice, whether or not you like either candidate, make your decision on what YOU believe in and what YOUR stance is on issues.  From what I've done based on my beliefs, Trump is the better candidate.  Do I really want to vote for him, not exactly. But I WON'T vote for Hillary.  I would prefer to do a write in candidate, but it won't matter anyway and I couldn't "complain" about who gets into office because I really didn't voice my opinion and vote.  Ask God to direct your decision!

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

Robot Devil Belzebot  YaBB God ★★★★★ Posts: 3158

Would you consider these lyrics anti-Robotic? « on: October 22, 3003, 11:12:51 am » You must be logged in to read this quote.

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

[Mad Deadly Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God]

It's not a "joke" if it's coated in hate.  Which is the only thing that POS knows.