I like the Rand Paul version myself:
Hi my name is Rand Paul and I have short brown hair like Ann Rand (that's how I got my name) with short back and sides that reaches my mid-neck and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Murray Rothbard (AN: if u don't know who he is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Les Paul but I wish I was because he's a major f.cking hottie. I'm a libertarian but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a Senator, and I go to a magic school called Congress in America where I'm in the second year (I'm fourtynine). I'm a Republican (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love the Tea Party and I get all my talking points from there. For example today I asked if people would like it if the government forced everyone to buy broccoli. I was going on about the Commerce Clause and the New Deal. I was walking outside Congress. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of dems stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.
"Hey Rand!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was... Barack Obama!
"What's up Barry?" I asked.
"Nothing." he said shyly.
But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.
