The CrabCake Bureau of Funny Post Archival

[Simfan34]

Good Lord, is Snowstalker ever happy?

♫ If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands! ♫
Snowstalker: A typical capitalist plot to divert the proletariat from taking into their own hands the means of production.

♫ If you're happy and you know it, stomp your feet! ♫
Snowstalker: True happiness will not be obtained until the people stomp the capitalist system into the dustbin of history.

♫ If you're happy and you know it, shout Amen! ♫
Snowstalker: As you can see, the predatory capitalists - like the rapacious feudalists before them - are quite happy to dope the masses with the opiate of religion.

[Simfan34]

Bushie, this is not 'Nam, this is religion. There are rules.

One of the most amusing posts I think I've ever seen here. I actually laughed.

[Simfan34]

I'd bother to respond, but:

(a) I can't quite tell when you're going to stop editing your post (or deleting and reposting it) for long enough for me to do so.
(b) I didn't really read it, tbh.
(c) This is meant to be the comedy goldmine.
(d) I just don't care enough.
(e) It's Christmas Eve.

For once, I agree with Joe.

Merry Christmas, Nathan. Merry Christmas, everyone!

[Simfan34]

This isn't DPRK apologism--this is merely pointing out the propaganda tactics of the United States government and its allies in Hollywood--and the stereotyping of North Koreans not as human beings under an oppressive regime but as mindless drones certainly has racial overtones. And the article makes clear that it isn't just a buddy comedy, but a movie with direct links to the State Department and the RAND Corporation. North Korea is a brutal despotic oligarchy for sure (in a more honest way than most other governments), but the sensationalist, race-baiting propaganda you see in Western media is just that. The article itself has problems (first coming to mind is that Team America was fairly critical of American foreign policy), but supports the existing case of the connection between Western capitalist imperialism and the popular culture.

Eh, more like 7-9.  There is one specific event I'm looking for to start the final 7 years.  That is, a victory, or strong showing for Howie Hawkins between the 2016 and 2020 elections.  Jess Spear was trying to get one done last Fall, but came away empty in November.  We can't cautiously tick underneath 7 years until that happens.  I think a Revolution will happen soon, although I have no idea when.  That's why I'm cautiously thinking between 7-10 years.

Also could go in the Sulphur mine.

[Simfan34]

You won't be able to lay anyone anyway if you have enough booze. Take it from me, pal

Wouldn't mind a girl laying me. I love assertive women.

[Simfan34]

Have sex with a woman

This goes in the deluge. Deeply disturbing.

[Simfan34]

I'm not bothered by any particular person using Tinder. I mean, do whatever you like. But I don't want it to become a fixture, a swipe stamping on a human face forever. Apparently it's extremely popular among undergraduates now? My younger brother started using it as a freshman.

[Simfan34]

SJW vs. MRA would probably be a better comparison. As far as I can tell, the Red Pill is really just a self-improvement cult with ties to the latter. It has its own vocabulary and method for making sense of the world, but it's more focused on the behavior of its members than it is on effecting any wider change in the style of a social movement.

One thought that occurs to me in response to this thread is that "game" makes more sense as a framework for dealing with voters than it does as applied by Red Pillers. Running a find+replace to this effect on any Red Pill screed about women yields amusing results:

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[Simfan34]

This guy is good... maybe too good:

Only women working in unionized factories producing tractors or working in the coal mines count, fools.

Tractor ? Such machinory is expensive and frivolous ! Why make tractors when we could be using that money to help the poor ? Obvious servants of the bourgeois ! The true worker farms with stone tools ! And coal ?! Any proud middle class commie knows is damaging to the environment ! Obvious slaves to the bourgeois global-kapitalist-earth-killers ! True workers work in fields, make glorious potato for politburo !

International Women's Day ?! How can one be woman if not make potato ?!

In all seriousness, thanks for reminding us what this holiday is really about. Men like you telling women what to do with their lives.

[Simfan34]

Averroes remains a contender for the title of "best poster" as much as ever:

Although the graphics are amazingly lifelike, the developers behind the latest entry in Sid Meier's Civilization series have done surprisingly little to improve its AI, and the "automate settlers/engineers" option remains useless, if not outright catastrophic, at all but the lowest difficulty levels.

[Simfan34]

Is he Nigerian?

[Simfan34]

 …hum, I came here looking to see if anybody had some morning after pills, only to find I’m late, the new babe has arrived. Above her hackles and now statius care for the middle working class, she’s off onto the road to tell us the gains, the improvements that will occur because of her presidency. I’m sure she’ll also be reminding us that these life improvements, your gains will be of their governance accomplishments, not really yours.

[Simfan34]

The King in the North and the King of Bacon have been banished, the Tweed coats have been unwoven, the Griffins have gone out to roost, and the rest have been left to stalk in the snow. Somewhere in the distance is the calling of the name "Joe".

[Simfan34]

His non-iPhone has a whole app just to turn on the flashlight setting?  How vintage!

My Galaxy S4 has a widget that does that. I don't know what iPhones have.

[Simfan34]

My phone is also a Galaxy S4.

Ah... but I actually have an S5. I keep on making that mistake for some reason.

[Simfan34]

"It will be the biggest, classiest tax increase this country has ever seen. I mean, you're just not gonna believe how amazing this tax increase is."

[Simfan34]

He likes appeasing radical islam, gun-grabbing, socialism, and Yugoslavian bimbos.

You're sounding worse than bobloblaw here...

You are right. I take back the part about Yugoslavia. He likes bimbos.

[Simfan34]

...which parts?

'To them I say: Leave. As many do. After all if your culture and heritage doesn't match your values, then it DESERVES to be thrown away.'

Yes yes I know you'll probably point out that I am technically Episcopalian but there have been things going on in my religious life lately that might lead me in directions you would definitely not approve of.

This sounds good!

[Simfan34]

352: Fmr. Amb. Jon Huntsman, Jr.(I-UT)/Businessman Greg Orman(I-KS) - 36.9%
93: Businessman Donald Trump(R-NY)/Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-AL) - 30.0%
93: Sen. Bernie Sanders(D-VT)/Rep. Keith Ellison(D-MN) - 29.2%

After both mainstream conventions are held, the two traditional candidates tried to use abortion and gay marriage as wedges against the independent Huntsman. In response, Huntsman cited his foreign policy experience and called for "Unity, Not Political Wedges" on the third and final day of America's Convention:
October 5, Columbus Day. With the pro-choice Greg Orman on one side and the anti-SSM Ben Carson on the other side, Huntsman stated "Now, together, united, not divided, not under any parties labels, we will heal America'. I ask for your support in healing America and restoring hope. Now, as our convention ends, I do not say good bye, but see you later - because, when I see you, I expect you to join me and talk to me, and this help me restore hope and heal America. God bless you, God bless New York City, and God bless the United States of America!" Clips of his speech aired in ads and his song entitled "A Change To Come Over America" would help win the election, and the hearts and minds of the American people.

"Thus the Year of the Outsiders ended with the election of a true outsider - the first independent President in nearly 250 years."

A freedom post!

[Simfan34]

Even the liberal New Republic is asking why Clinton and Sanders aren't campaigning on a public option.

[Simfan34]

I do sometimes wonder if this campaign was only ever intended to be a publicity stunt, and maybe Trump just keeps saying crazier and crazier s*** in hopes that it eventually costs him his lead.

Trump: "You stupid idiots. This was all a publicity stunt! Why don't you get it? You've been fooled!" (followed by insane amounts of clapping)

1 week later: Trump up +9 points!

He's already done this. "How stupid are the people of Iowa" has catapulted him into the lead there.

Oh my. That's right. What the hell kinda world am I even living in anymore?

[Simfan34]

Also wait, so even Bernie Sanders pbuh himself speaking out against the Bernie Bros isn't enough to convince you it's a serious issue? lol

[Simfan34]

Sanders supporters need to tread with care - it was behavior like this that hurt Sanders in Virginia and probably cost him CD delegates. Check out this exit poll:

[Simfan34]

Only the leftist millennials hate Trump, and some conservative ones as well. Not all millennials are monolithic.

electrifying analysis

I can confirm this. Out of my five closest friends who are my age, only three of them are monolithic. The fourth is actually several different rocks, and the fifth is a pile of sand.