UPDATE-OPOLY
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Author Topic: UPDATE-OPOLY  (Read 24357 times)
Grumpier Than Uncle Joe
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« Reply #275 on: January 13, 2015, 03:07:29 PM »
Quote from: King on January 13, 2015, 02:53:40 PM
Oakvale thinks he's won but he has no idea what the reality is. Bacon King is going to collect a big fat paycheck when he passes Go again.

And there's no question oakie isn't bathed in prayer like BK is........
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Joe Republic
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« Reply #276 on: January 13, 2015, 03:44:18 PM »
     Bacon King & HockeyDude     $917

       





Red Team advances to Trust Jesus and draws a card:






     Oakvale     $6615

       

       

       





Oakvale advances to Papa's Retirement Fund and draws a card:





CLICK FOR LARGER VERSION
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Joe Republic
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« Reply #277 on: January 14, 2015, 02:33:15 PM »
     Bacon King & HockeyDude     $1067

       





Red Team advances to The Kenyan Kids and loves on them for a few hours.




     Oakvale     $6465

       

       

       





Oakvale passes GO collecting $200 of his parents' money, and advances to Papa's Retirement Fund and draws a card:





CLICK FOR LARGER VERSION
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Grumpier Than Uncle Joe
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« Reply #278 on: January 14, 2015, 03:05:09 PM »
I hope BK and Hokey Dude have made peace with their creator because I see a rapture in their future.
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Joe Republic
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« Reply #279 on: January 15, 2015, 01:43:30 AM »
     Bacon King & HockeyDude     $1067

       





Red Team advances to Call Center #1 and very generously contributes $1050 to Oakvale to help with his loan payment.



 

Red Team advances to Health Care, and generously contributes $70 to help Oakvale pay his non-existent medical expenses.

Whoops!  You can't quite afford to pay.  With God's help, you must raise an additional $53.
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Alcon
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« Reply #280 on: January 15, 2015, 06:18:26 AM »
I just discovered this thread, and I want to hate it because it's mean, but it's basically the pinnacle of human genius and glory.  So it has that going for it.
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Gustaf
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« Reply #281 on: January 15, 2015, 06:37:33 AM »
Quote from: Grad Students are the Worst on January 15, 2015, 06:18:26 AM
I just discovered this thread, and I want to hate it because it's mean, but it's basically the pinnacle of human genius and glory.  So it has that going for it.

Alcon, I used to agree with that but if you've been following the Bushie saga you'll realize he doesn't deserve a lot of sympathy.
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Bacon King
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« Reply #282 on: January 16, 2015, 11:32:58 PM »
Mortgage braums plz
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Meeker
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« Reply #283 on: January 17, 2015, 05:26:45 AM »
Quote from: Grad Students are the Worst on January 15, 2015, 06:18:26 AM
I just discovered this thread, and I want to hate it because it's mean, but it's basically the pinnacle of human genius and glory.  So it has that going for it.

^^^

We have reached peak Atlas. Congratulations, Joe*

*Phil
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Joe Republic
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« Reply #284 on: January 19, 2015, 02:47:29 AM »
     Oakvale     $7985

       

       

       





Oakvale advances to Just Napping



CLICK FOR LARGER VERSION
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King
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« Reply #285 on: January 19, 2015, 07:52:47 PM »
Bacon King, I have a lucrative job offer for you that pays $7986 upfront. All you need to do is send me $47 for the application fee.
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Bacon King
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« Reply #286 on: January 19, 2015, 09:59:02 PM »
Quote from: King on January 19, 2015, 07:52:47 PM
Bacon King, I have a lucrative job offer for you that pays $7986 upfront. All you need to do is send me $47 for the application fee.

Deal!

The Lord shall provide!
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Joe Republic
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« Reply #287 on: January 25, 2015, 04:13:47 PM »
     Bacon King & HockeyDude     $47

       





Red Team advances to New Year's Eve and very generously contributes $1500 to Oakvale to help with his loan payment.

Whoops!  You can't quite afford to pay.  With God's help, you must raise an additional $1453.
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Bacon King
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« Reply #288 on: January 28, 2015, 02:06:22 AM »
RIP me

red team folds
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Joe Republic
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« Reply #289 on: January 28, 2015, 03:28:24 AM »
« Edited: January 28, 2015, 04:25:38 AM by Joe Republic »
Red Team has been Raptured!  (7-10 years ahead of schedule!!)  They advance to Heaven, receive perfect new bodies, and take their place beside their Lord and Savior for the rest of eternity.




Oakvale has won UPDATE-OPOLY!!

To celebrate this success, his parents finally decide to call in his debts and financially cut him off, leaving him over $15,000 in debt.  After two months of financial independence, he becomes homeless and addicted to prescription painkillers to help cope with the loss of his lower leg to diabetes.

Now 345 pounds and living in a dumpster behind a Braum's he once frequented, scaring the local children from church that he used to love on only a few short weeks ago, he finally succumbs to a stroke one unseasonably warm night.  As his refillable Big Gulp cup of "Diet" Dr. Pepper (which he feebly tries to fill with coins by day) slips from his grasp and spills onto the ground, Oakvale collapses into the puddle of pop he has created.  With his consciousness fading, he looks to the sky, ready for his Lord Jesus to arrive in His chariot, scoop him into His warm embrace and ferry him to the Eternal Paradise he has been guaranteed.  Alas, no such help is on the way this night.

Good night, sweet Oakvale.

RIP
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Panda Express
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« Reply #290 on: January 28, 2015, 05:43:47 AM »
Tough luck man. Sorry the Jesus thing ended up being a bust. I know you put all your eggs in that basket.
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Grumpier Than Uncle Joe
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« Reply #291 on: January 29, 2015, 02:28:12 PM »
This might be the first time ever I felt bad for oakvale.
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