UPDATE-OPOLY

[Joe Republic]

Welcome to the very first game of Update-opoly!  I'm proud to be your host and game moderator, and please welcome the following players, in no particular order:

	Bacon King & HockeyDude
	Oakvale
	SomebodyWhoExists
	King
	Bore
	AndrewCT
	Dallasfan65
	JerryArkansas

If you missed the chance to sign up, fear not!  As you can already see with the Red token, there is an option to create a team under the same token.  Ask any existing player during the game if he'd be willing to take you on as a team mate.  I'll consider the original player to be the 'captain' of the team, and eventually I'll discuss with each captain how much autonomy they want to allow their team mates to have during gameplay.

[Joe Republic]

Based on votes cast by the players, these are the following House Rules we'll be playing by.  All other rules are based on the official rules as found in any classic game of Monopoly.  Here's a handy refresher on those.



(1) Free Parking / 'Free Gas'

Any and all fines and taxes go into a Free Parking ('Free Gas' in Update-opoly) fund.  Whoever lands on Free Gas wins the accumulated pool of cash.  If the pool is empty, they win nothing.


(2) The last unsold property

The last unsold property can only be sold when a player lands on it.


(3) Salary for landing on Go

If you land on Go, you collect $400 instead of $200.  This includes instructions given by Trust Jesus or Papa's Retirement Fund cards to 'Advance to Go'.


(4) When players can begin purchasing properties

All players must each move around the board once before they can purchase any properties.*

* A trip to jail ('Sleep') does not count as traveling around the board, so that player will still need to pass Go after leaving jail to qualify as having fully moved around the board.


(5) If a player chooses not to (or cannot afford to) purchase an unsold property they've landed on...

 ... it remains unsold for the next player to land on.


(6) When a player lands on a Trust Jesus space...

... the player must draw a card.


(7) Collecting rent while in jail ('asleep')

While asleep, players cannot collect rent on their properties.


(8) Winning the game

A player wins when all other players are bankrupt.


(9) Trading properties between players

Trading properties can begin at any point.


(10) Availability of houses and hotels ('credit cards' and 'loans', respectively)

There is no limit to credit cards and loans available to purchase.


(11) Issuing properties at the beginning of the game

No properties are dealt at the beginning of the game.

[Joe Republic]

I'm going to be in LA for the next two days, so I'll get things up and running when I come back! 

[Mr. Morden]

Do you have all the Trust Jesus and Papa's Retirement Fund cards written?  Are you going to pre-sort them, or will you use some kind of random number generator to choose the card each time?

[Joe Republic]

Do you have all the Trust Jesus and Papa's Retirement Fund cards written?  Are you going to pre-sort them, or will you use some kind of random number generator to choose the card each time?

Yes, the cards are all written.  I'll be using random.org to sort the Papa's Retirement Fund cards and also to roll the dice.  The Trust Jesus cards will however be sorted and selected by my Lord and Savior, who bathes me when I am unclean and who comforts me in His warm embrace when I am weak and feeble.

[Joe Republic]

Alright, let's get things started (finally)!

First, I'll roll a bunch of dice to determine the order of turns...

Bacon King & HockeyDude:		=1st
Oakvale:		8th
SomebodyWhoExists:		=5th
King:		=1st
Bore:		=5th
AndrewCT:		7th
Dallasfan65:		=3rd
JerryArkansas:		=3rd

1st & 2nd Place Run-off

Bacon King & HockeyDude:		1st
King:		2nd

3rd & 4th Place Run-off

Dallasfan65:		3rd
JerryArkansas:		4th

5th & 6th Place Run-off

SomebodyWhoExists:		6th
Bore:		5th

[Joe Republic]

Bacon King & HockeyDude     $1500

Red Team advances to Men's Only Church Dinner


 

Red Team advances to Hobo Orgy Garage

King     $1500

King advances to Just Napping

Dallasfan65     $1500

Dallasfan65 advances to Just Napping

JerryArkansas     $1500

JerryArkansas advances to Men's Only Church Dinner


 

JerryArkansas advances to Walmart

Bore     $1500

Bore advances to Utah Call Center

SomebodyWhoExists     $1500

SomebodyWhoExists advances to Golden Corral

AndrewCT     $1500

AndrewCT advances to Trust Jesus and draws a card:



AndrewCT pays $100 to the Free Parking fund,
and advances to Men's Only Church Dinner

Oakvale     $1500

Oakvale advances to Papa's Retirement Fund and draws a card:



Oakvale advances to Bed

[Mr. Morden]

Is the idea that after each turn, you'll show a new graphic of the board with everyone's current position displayed on it?

[Joe Republic]

Bacon King & HockeyDude     $1500

Red Team advances to Cracker Barrel

King     $1500

King advances to Adoption Agency


 

King advances to Call Center #3


 

King advances to Grandma's House

Dallasfan65     $1500

Dallasfan65 advances to Adoption Agency

JerryArkansas     $1500

JerryArkansas advances to Call Center #1

Bore     $1500

Bore advances to Call Center #2


 

Bore advances to Health Care

SomebodyWhoExists     $1500

SomebodyWhoExists advances to O.N.G.

AndrewCT     $1400

AndrewCT advances to Hobo Orgy Garage


 

AndrewCT advances to Free Gas and collects $100!

Oakvale     $1500

Oakvale remains In Bed

Would you like to pay $50 to wake up before your next turn, or attempt to roll a double next time instead?

[Joe Republic]

Is the idea that after each turn, you'll show a new graphic of the board with everyone's current position displayed on it?

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with the way I do things.  Sure, it may be different from how you would do it, but you can NOT say it is wrong.


(Yes.)

[Joe Republic]

BTW, do you guys think I should move this thread into FC?  I feel like it might be too detached from the Update family over here, although at the same time I'm hesitant to add yet another Update thread to that clogged board.

[Oakvale]

Joe, I believe I will pay $50 of my parents' money in order to wake up before 2100 hours.

[Paul Kemp]

This is really great.

[Bacon King]

I'm fine with moving this to FC

[Joe Republic]

Bacon King & HockeyDude     $1500

Red Team advances to Grandma's House

King     $1500

King advances to New Fiancée, paying $75 to Free Gas
(Congratulations!*)


* Phil

Dallasfan65     $1500

Dallasfan65 advances to Call Center #3

JerryArkansas     $1500

JerryArkansas advances to Call Center #3

Bore     $1500

Bore advances to Christmas

SomebodyWhoExists     $1500

SomebodyWhoExists advances to Free Gas and collects $125!


 

SomebodyWhoExists advances to Health Care

AndrewCT     $1500

AndrewCT advances to Cracker Barrel

Oakvale     $1450

Oakvale advances to Papa's Retirement Fund and draws a card:



Oakvale pays $50 to Free Gas

[Oakvale]

Jesus, BushOAK is getting killed. I'm clearly the most realistic player.

[Joe Republic]

Bacon King & HockeyDude     $1500

Red Team advances to Blondie's Kennel (Grave),
collecting $200 of their parents' money for passing Go

Would you like to purchase this property for $60 of your parents' money?

[Bacon King]

yes

RIP JJ

[Joe Republic]

King     $1425

King advances to 4am Bible Study,
collecting $200 of his parents' money for passing Go

Would you like to purchase this property for $100 of your parents' money?

[King]

Hell yes I'm buying.  Praise Christ

[Joe Republic]

Dallasfan65     $1500

Dallasfan65 advances to Papa's Retirement Fund and draws a card:

JerryArkansas     $1500

JerryArkansas advances to Russ Powers' Office

Bore     $1500

Bore advances to Trust Jesus, collecting $200 of his parents' money for passing Go, and draws a card:

SomebodyWhoExists     $1625

SomebodyWhoExists advances to Ma & Pa's Trailer

AndrewCT     $1500

AndrewCT advances to Go To Sleep, sleepily moving directly to Bed

Oakvale     $1400

Oakvale advances to Russ Powers' Office

Oakvale advances to Christmas

Oakvale advances to Men's Only Church Dinner,
collecting $200 of his parents' money for passing Go

Would you like to purchase this property for $100 of your parents' money?

[Oakvale]

This seems like a good investment. I know I am not perfect, but I am not a horrible investor like you all seem to think, either. I will pay $100 of my parent's money for this deal of a lifetime. Buy this property.

[Joe Republic]

Bacon King & HockeyDude     $1640

Red Team advances to Trust Jesus and draws a card:

King     $1525

King advances to On The Border

Would you like to purchase this property for $200 of your parents' money?

[King]

$200? I'll buy On the Border for $400!

[Joe Republic]

Dallasfan65     $1525

Dallasfan65 advances to Braum's

Dallasfan65 advances to Christmas

For rolling three consecutive doubles, Dallasfan65 goes directly to Bed

JerryArkansas     $1500

JerryArkansas advances to Trust Jesus and draws a card:

Bore     $2100

Bore advances to Just Napping

SomebodyWhoExists     $1625

SomebodyWhoExists advances to Christmas

AndrewCT     $1500

AndrewCT remains In Bed

Would you like to pay $50 to wake up before your next turn, or attempt to roll a double next time instead?

Oakvale     $1500

Oakvale advances to O.N.G.

Would you like to purchase this property for $150 of your parents' money?