Update XIX: Melancholy and the Infinite Napping
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  Update XIX: Melancholy and the Infinite Napping
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Author Topic: Update XIX: Melancholy and the Infinite Napping  (Read 202631 times)
Eraserhead
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« on: November 20, 2014, 12:23:41 AM »

Gonna go ahead and start this up now since I may not be able to get on here much over the next few days. If anyone wants to Photoshop Jeff's head on Billy Corgan's body, feel free to do so.
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they don't love you like i love you
BRTD
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« Reply #1 on: November 20, 2014, 12:26:17 AM »

Ha! Love the name.
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Eraserhead
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« Reply #2 on: November 20, 2014, 12:35:35 AM »


Figured you'd appreciate it.

We'll probably have a fan poll to decide the title for the next season since it'll be the big 20th.
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they don't love you like i love you
BRTD
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« Reply #3 on: November 20, 2014, 12:46:17 AM »

The best song ever written that doesn't include guitar or drums. Alas our protagonist is probably fully unaware of its existence...

20th will probably be close to Christmas, so I like the idea of that Santa CAD(D) one.
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Adam Griffin
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« Reply #4 on: November 20, 2014, 01:27:53 AM »
« Edited: November 20, 2014, 01:42:43 AM by Lowly Griff »

Inspired by chat discussion...I took this real age test on behalf of Bushie (the notable one wouldn't let me login, unfortunately), answering as best I know from all the blabbering he does on here. His life expectancy is 59 (which I think is a tad generous based on what we all know).



EDIT: This one is a better and more realistic tool to use (at least when it comes to those that you don't have to create an account for; I don't want RealAge pounding me with never-ending emails saying "OMG You're Unhealthy As Hell" after taking the test as Bushie)
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they don't love you like i love you
BRTD
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« Reply #5 on: November 20, 2014, 01:36:28 AM »

Here's something even more disturbing: https://www.tiaa-cref.org/public/products-services/tclife-insurance/utilize-our-tools/quote

You can't even get a quote for Bushie's stats for the lowest policy. It says to contact our agents.
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Adam Griffin
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« Reply #6 on: November 20, 2014, 01:43:32 AM »

Here's something even more disturbing: https://www.tiaa-cref.org/public/products-services/tclife-insurance/utilize-our-tools/quote

You can't even get a quote for Bushie's stats for the lowest policy. It says to contact our agents.

Wow.
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Gustaf
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« Reply #7 on: November 20, 2014, 06:38:41 AM »

On it goes...

http://www.theonion.com/articles/uhaul-offers-discount-for-customers-who-will-just,37484/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=LinkPreview:1:Default
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Keystone Phil
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« Reply #8 on: November 20, 2014, 08:01:44 AM »

I apologize for starting the Blessed Mother-Our Dear Friend debate during the other season.
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Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck
HockeyDude
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« Reply #9 on: November 20, 2014, 08:51:33 AM »

I apologize for starting the Blessed Mother-Our Dear Friend debate during the other season.

I enjoyed it. 
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J-Mann
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« Reply #10 on: November 20, 2014, 10:55:18 AM »

Reposted. You need to address this:

An inability to admit that your refusal to change (in spite of all the sound advice and ENCOURAGEMENT from so many over the years) has COST YOUR FAMILY UNNECESSARY MONEY is cowardly.

You want us to focus on the good? I tried that with you. A lot. Didn't work. You're no better off today than you were when you started this whole saga. And it is costing your family more now than it ever has.

Maybe it's not intentional, but it's deeply rooted in, at best, ignorance. More likely, you prefer only happiness where no one calls you on your BS.

Your inability to implement the smallest of change to better yourself HURT your family today. Wake up, Jeff. Your inaction has consequences that go beyond you!


Are you getting the picture yet? Your refusal to a) actually work to build a career and study your supposed skills, b) take better care of your health and lose weight and c) learn basic life skills like cooking or shopping on your own IS HURTING OTHER PEOPLE. This is not a consequence-free existence, Jeff. And consequences could hurt more than just you.

Are you happy your history ended up in your family spending ultimately unnecessary money on you? Are you happy they're $100 poorer because of it (and don't give me the $79.99 BS ... add taxes, time and travel, and you cost them $100). A positive attitude means nothing if you ignorantly continue to sh:t on other people.

Keep it up, Jeff. Ignore how you're killing yourself. Your family will have to pay for your funeral, too (average of $10,000). How does that make you feel?
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BRTD
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« Reply #11 on: November 20, 2014, 11:17:25 AM »

Well the funeral should be covered, I remember from an earlier season Bushie (well his parents) are paying over $40/month for a ridiculously expensive life insurance policy he has no need for as he has no family or dependents. Though it'll at least compensate the costs of his parents effectively caring for him all these years though...

Actually based on the learnings from that calculator above, Bushie is actually quite lucky he's even getting a $40/month policy. The fact that insurance companies aren't willing to give a price estimate for a 32-year old non-smoker should disturb anyone, but he'll ignore it.
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Grumpier Than Uncle Joe
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« Reply #12 on: November 20, 2014, 11:31:32 AM »

As we must with all Update seasons, we turn to our hero, Russ Powers of Oklahoma who doesn't let a few inches of snow bother him.  He simply conquers it and takes what he wants.




Go Russ.
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Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck
HockeyDude
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« Reply #13 on: November 20, 2014, 11:51:53 AM »

As we must with all Update seasons, we turn to our hero, Russ Powers of Oklahoma who doesn't let a few inches of snow bother him.  He simply conquers it and takes what he wants.




Go Russ.

I hear that he puts a foot on each one and rides across the mountain like it's a damn jet ski.   One snowmobile could never contain Russ, anyway. 
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Sopranos Republican
Matt from VT
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« Reply #14 on: November 20, 2014, 11:53:50 AM »

As we must with all Update seasons, we turn to our hero, Russ Powers of Oklahoma who doesn't let a few inches of snow bother him.  He simply conquers it and takes what he wants.




Go Russ.

I hear that he puts a foot on each one and rides across the mountain like it's a damn jet ski.   One snowmobile could never contain Russ, anyway. 

Often times with 2 or 3 of his female CAD(D) students riding his back too.
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Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck
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« Reply #15 on: November 20, 2014, 12:02:23 PM »
« Edited: November 20, 2014, 12:05:22 PM by HockeyDude »

I can't even fathom how Bushie felt when he talked to Russ Powers Of Oklahoma.  Inadequate doesn't even describe it.  Bushie should stop hanging out with his parents, give up church friend board game night, and beg Russ to take him under his wing.  

Goodbye kiddie parties.

Hello Vegas rooftop raves!

I can't think of a more sound decision for success in life than to spend as much time with Russ as possible.  It's almost insulting, frankly, that Bushie has Russ in such close proximity and doesn't even try to reap the bounty of things awarded through friendship with Russ. 
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Lief 🗽
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« Reply #16 on: November 20, 2014, 12:04:57 PM »

No Facebook update this morning... RIP job??
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Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck
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« Reply #17 on: November 20, 2014, 12:06:19 PM »

No Facebook update this morning... RIP job??

Let's give it until after lunch. 
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Fmr. Pres. Duke
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« Reply #18 on: November 20, 2014, 01:05:15 PM »

It's noon in Oklahoma! We all know what happens when bushie swears odd update.... His life falls apart.
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Joe Biden 2020
BushOklahoma
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« Reply #19 on: November 20, 2014, 01:20:31 PM »

Lunch time.  Today has been very productive so far.  My back still hurts, but it may take time to alleviate.  I really need to lose weight.  I'm sure if I lost even 25-50 pounds, my back would feel better.  So, I am going to try to behave myself the rest of the year except for Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day.  I know I'll feel better if I can get some of this weight off.
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J-Mann
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« Reply #20 on: November 20, 2014, 01:24:55 PM »

Lunch time.  Today has been very productive so far.  My back still hurts, but it may take time to alleviate.  I really need to lose weight.  I'm sure if I lost even 25-50 pounds, my back would feel better.  So, I am going to try to behave myself the rest of the year except for Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day.  I know I'll feel better if I can get some of this weight off.

No sh:t, Sherlock. It's killing you and putting a burden on others, whether you admit it or not.

You want a solid plan that can get you there? Ask me, or Patrick or anyone who has real experience with changing their lives through diet and exercise. But you actually have to DO something ... and you've never been willing to before.
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King
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« Reply #21 on: November 20, 2014, 01:44:53 PM »

You're not going to behave yourself. I know you. You still refuse to eat vegetables. No weight loss will happen without vegetables in every meal. Sorry, friend.
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Smash255
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« Reply #22 on: November 20, 2014, 01:52:47 PM »

Lunch time.  Today has been very productive so far.  My back still hurts, but it may take time to alleviate.  I really need to lose weight.  I'm sure if I lost even 25-50 pounds, my back would feel better.  So, I am going to try to behave myself the rest of the year except for Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day.  I know I'll feel better if I can get some of this weight off.

Will you exercise??
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King
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« Reply #23 on: November 20, 2014, 01:54:44 PM »

He's going to Focus on Weight Loss, thinking really skinny thoughts while eating pop tarts and ham sandwiches.
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Joe Biden 2020
BushOklahoma
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« Reply #24 on: November 20, 2014, 01:57:41 PM »

I need to eat more vegetables and I will do so.  Maybe not every single meal, but most meals.  As far as exercise, I need to make the time to do it.
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