Update XIX: Melancholy and the Infinite Napping

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

IceSpear, I have thought about the procedure, but I guess I'm too afraid of going under the knife.

Does it scare you more than a heart attack?

[IceSpear]

IceSpear, I have thought about the procedure, but I guess I'm too afraid of going under the knife.

It would be well worth it in the long run. Like Flo said, you'd probably get anaesthetized anyway.

[Indy Texas]

IceSpear, I have thought about the procedure, but I guess I'm too afraid of going under the knife.

Does it scare you more than a heart attack?

Bushie's health is so bad that at this point, even losing weight by taking up cigarette smoking would probably be a net gain for him.

[Joe Biden 2020]

IceSpear, I have thought about the procedure, but I guess I'm too afraid of going under the knife.

It would be well worth it in the long run. Like Flo said, you'd probably get anaesthetized anyway.

True.  It is definitely something I will consider, but I still want to try more natural means first.  I haven't given up on it, yet.  I will get back to it again tomorrow and try to watch what I eat and watch how much I eat.  I'm not going to promise what I'm going to do, but I am going to try to urge Grandma and Mom to sit down and plan out a menu that has appropriate portions of meat and vegetables.

[memphis]

IceSpear, I have thought about the procedure, but I guess I'm too afraid of going under the knife.

Does it scare you more than a heart attack?

Bushie's health is so bad that at this point, even losing weight by taking up cigarette smoking would probably be a net gain for him.

Losing weight by taking up crystal meth would probably be a net gain for him at this point.

[King]

IceSpear, I have thought about the procedure, but I guess I'm too afraid of going under the knife.

Does it scare you more than a heart attack?

Bushie's health is so bad that at this point, even losing weight by taking up cigarette smoking would probably be a net gain for him.

Losing weight by taking up crystal meth would probably be a net gain for him at this point.

And it'd give him the ambition to want to cook something for the first time in his life.

[WalterMitty]

bushie can you confirm that youve gained about 25 pounds in 2 years?

Pretty close, but we're not going to talk about that tonight.  This is a holiday.

i used to think that way when i was a drinker.

it's a holiday!  why not get drunk!  nevermind that i was an alcoholic!

[AndrewTX]

bushie can you confirm that youve gained about 25 pounds in 2 years?

Pretty close, but we're not going to talk about that tonight.  This is a holiday.

i used to think that way when i was a drinker.

it's a holiday!  why not get drunk!  nevermind that i was an alcoholic!

Mitty, yesterday was a holiday. You have NO RIGHT to question him on that. Also, Wed was a de facto Friday, today is Friday, and than we have the weekend. He doesn't need to watch what he is eating until Monday. IT IS PERFECTLY NORMAL FOR PEOPLE TO NOT WATCH WHAT THEY EAT DURING THE HOLY DAYS OF THANKSGIVING.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

bushie can you confirm that youve gained about 25 pounds in 2 years?

Pretty close, but we're not going to talk about that tonight.  This is a holiday.

What some stupid family rule about it on the holiday?

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

IceSpear, I have thought about the procedure, but I guess I'm too afraid of going under the knife.

It would be well worth it in the long run. Like Flo said, you'd probably get anaesthetized anyway.

True.  It is definitely something I will consider, but I still want to try more natural means first.  I haven't given up on it, yet.  I will get back to it again tomorrow and try to watch what I eat and watch how much I eat.  I'm not going to promise what I'm going to do, but I am going to try to urge Grandma and Mom to sit down and plan out a menu that has appropriate portions of meat and vegetables.

Get back to what?  You've eaten crappy lunchmeat on white bread or cheeseburgers for lunch every day since you said you asked Jesus for willpower.  You ate Chick-Fil-A AND McDonald's the day you made that statement.  

You keep wanting this to be easy, but the fact is that you have to acquire a taste for better and healthier food.  Yes, there are people that can diet easy because they are giving up the mere luxury of greasy bacons and tasty cakes.  What you eat is far beyond a luxury for you, Bushie.  It's literally your entire lifestyle.  You have to accept that losing weight is going to suck and suck hard.  

Answer me this.  Do you really, truly not fear death because you think you are going to heaven?  Seriously.  

[Indy Texas]

Hasn't it already been established that Bushie thinks the world is going to end in like 10 years? What kind of motivation can one have when they operate under that assumption?

[Joe Biden 2020]

HD, to answer your question, death does not scare me.  I know where I am going once I leave this earth.  The grass really will be greener on the other side!  That said, I do not want to die.  The Apostle Paul in Romans says to live is Christ, but to die is gain.  He said in that letter that he knows he still has work to do on earth and loves hanging around his buddies, but he also knows when he dies, he will get the last laugh.  That's an extreme paraphrase, but it's the jist of his comments there.  I know when I die, I will get the last laugh. I truly believe that I'm in good shape either way.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

You can't know where you're going. Nobody can. What you're describing is a living hope.

[AndrewTX]

HD, to answer your question, death does not scare me.  I know where I am going once I leave this earth.  The grass really will be greener on the other side!  That said, I do not want to die.  The Apostle Paul in Romans says to live is Christ, but to die is gain.  He said in that letter that he knows he still has work to do on earth and loves hanging around his buddies, but he also knows when he dies, he will get the last laugh.  That's an extreme paraphrase, but it's the jist of his comments there.  I know when I die, I will get the last laugh. I truly believe that I'm in good shape either way.

I'll have the last laugh, because I'll still be going around enjoying life in 6 months. You'll be rotting away in a box.

[Indy Texas]

The grass really will be greener on the other side!
***
I know when I die, I will get the last laugh. I truly believe that I'm in good shape either way.

Is that the kind of feel-good nonsense your kind of people use to keep from going out back and deep throating the barrel of a shotgun?

Fifty years at best living in a trailer home in the part of America that is such a sh!thole that it was the absolute last thing we stole from the Native Americans. And the last twenty of those years are spent as a barely mobile, hypertensive, diabetic, suffocating blob of fat that can't even go bowling without leaving its muscles throbbing in pain. No enjoyment of life whatsoever. The only reason church is so appealing is because you can sit down the entire time and there's a full spread of food to eat afterwards.

You'd better keep telling yourself the grass is greener on the other side. Because if it's not, the one life you were given to live will have been a complete and utterly pathetic waste. Luckily, if that's the case, you will have ceased to exist and will be spared the regret and self-recrimination.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

HD, to answer your question, death does not scare me.  I know where I am going once I leave this earth.  The grass really will be greener on the other side!  That said, I do not want to die.  The Apostle Paul in Romans says to live is Christ, but to die is gain.  He said in that letter that he knows he still has work to do on earth and loves hanging around his buddies, but he also knows when he dies, he will get the last laugh.  That's an extreme paraphrase, but it's the jist of his comments there.  I know when I die, I will get the last laugh. I truly believe that I'm in good shape either way.

Is that why you are fine with your deadly habits and lifestyle?  Do you really feel as if just being alive so you can praise Jesus and go to church is enough? 

You can't know where you're going. Nobody can. What you're describing is a living hope.

See Bushie?  Even Nathan, the pious bastard he is (tis a jest, Nathan), can be reasonable about the afterlife.  Bushie, I'll use a favorite of mine from a pundit I'm a fan of.  I DO NOT know what will happen to me when I die, and neither do you, because you do not possess powers that I do not.

[IceSpear]

IceSpear, I have thought about the procedure, but I guess I'm too afraid of going under the knife.

It would be well worth it in the long run. Like Flo said, you'd probably get anaesthetized anyway.

True.  It is definitely something I will consider, but I still want to try more natural means first.  I haven't given up on it, yet.  I will get back to it again tomorrow and try to watch what I eat and watch how much I eat.  I'm not going to promise what I'm going to do, but I am going to try to urge Grandma and Mom to sit down and plan out a menu that has appropriate portions of meat and vegetables.

How about you give yourself a deadline? Say if by 2016 you don't lose a meaningful amount of weight (that way you can make it your 2015 resolution), you must go get gastric bypass.

[Associate Justice PiT]

     In deference to Bushie's cogent and eloquent arguments for the Christian nature of Thanksgiving, I chose not to celebrate it yesterday out of respect for the Church, with which I am not affiliated.

Instead, I spent my day walking through the neighborhood and analyzing the fundamental reasons for the poor performance of the 49ers offense.

[Adam Griffin]

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[Mr. Morden]

I know when I die, I will get the last laugh.

It'll be just like laughing about diabetes.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Let me reiterate, guys, I am not scared of death, nor should I be.  Nathan, I believe one can know definitively about their own salvation.  God doesn't want us to live in fear and wonder all our lives IF we will go to heaven or not.  He gives us the ability and the grace to know that we know that we know where we will spend eternity.  God is not the author of fear.  He is the author of peace.  The hymn says "Blessed Assurance, Jesus is mine.  O what a foretaste of glory divine.  Heir of salvation, purchase of God.  Born of His spirit, washed in His blood.  This is my story, this is my song, praising my Savior all the day long.  This is my story, this is my song, praising my Savior all the day long."  That hymn tells it like it is.  That doesn't sound like fear and wonder to me, that sounds like complete assurance and absolute peace.

[King]

Jesus that BMI. I'd have to be over 350 lbs at my height to be as unhealthy as Bushie.

Bushie is technically heavier than Big Ted Washington who was 375 at 6'5" for a BMI of 44.5.



Bushie is in the Top 1% the fattest people on the planet, likely even Top .1%.

[King]

The hymn says "Blessed Assurance, Jesus is mine.  O what a foretaste of glory divine.  Heir of salvation, purchase of God.  Born of His spirit, washed in His blood.  This is my story, this is my song, praising my Savior all the day long.  This is my story, this is my song, praising my Savior all the day long."  That hymn tells it like it is.  That doesn't sound like fear and wonder to me, that sounds like complete assurance and absolute peace.

So hymns written in the 1800s are part of Biblical canon, too?

[Mr. Morden]

He gives us the ability and the grace to know that we know that we know where we will spend eternity.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8srzeIAOJeI

[memphis]

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Not that many Americans are at a point where it's much of a concern, but there are health risks associated with being under weight as well. I wouldn't say minimal is the right word to put there. Also, I remember back when Bushie was barely morbidly obese