Update XIX: Melancholy and the Infinite Napping

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I wasn't trying to purposely offend anybody when I trimmed out a few of you guys.  I was taking the advice of several of my real-life friends and have decided to surround myself with positivity this year.  I don't need every Facebook post of mine snickered at or criticized.  My friends know when to tell me the truth and they are the ones who know the real me.  They are by no means enablers.  None of these cuts are personal.  I still consider each one of you friends and I figure we talk enough on here that I can hear the advice from you all here.

You want to surround yourself with people who believe your own BS even more than you do.

Have your "friends" ever told you to lose weight? Have your "friends" let you know you shave a few days off your life every time you sit down to eat more of the crap you do? If they haven't, they're not telling the truth.

But keep talking to them about how you're going to plan to try to intend to think about losing weight or eating your cheeseburger without fries one day a week. And you'll never do that. You wanted everyone on here to pat you on the head like a six year old because you ate a non-crappy lunch one day.

You can defriend people on Facebook but you can't block us on here and you know as well as I do that you can't give this up. You need this. You need to feel like someone out there actually cares. That's why you get mad and say you're ending Update only to start posting again the next day.

Yes, my friends have told me I need to lose weight.  They are very concerned about my physical health.

The only concern they have with your weight is their concern that you gun' give up hearty down-home cookin' for libruhl fag Democrat fewd. 

[WalterMitty]

yes.  bushie should note anytime the following are used to describe food it means the food is terribly unhealthy: 'country', 'old fashioned', 'down-home', 'southern.'

[Joe Republic]

You forgot 'wholesome'.

[King]

Remember when Bushie said he went to Cracker Barrel to have a "home-cooked meal"?

Good times

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

yes.  bushie should note anytime the following are used to describe food it means the food is terribly unhealthy: 'country', 'old fashioned', 'down-home', 'southern.'

Eh, fiddleheads are pretty down-home, and those are good for you assuming you clean them properly and don't get one that was already diseased. Bushie's society would probably consider them 'East Coast liberal' at best and 'faggy' at worst, though.

[memphis]

It's not likely to come up in Oklahoma, but "fat free" should also be added to the list of codewords for unhealthy. Also "chicken fried."

[Adam Griffin]

I am going to take a water bottle with me to work on Monday and drink water throughout the day with maybe a Diet Dr Pepper at lunch.  I definitely need to cut out the regular pop again and replace that with more water.  My grandmother and I are also going to try to eat healthier this year.  We'll still have our cheat meals, but we're going to cut those down quite a bit.   When I'm at home in the evenings, I will have either unsweetened iced tea or Diet Dr. Pepper.  I'm going to try to lean toward the former.  I am also going to stop all food consumption by 2000.  There are things I am going to do to change this year.  I am also not going to weigh everyday.  I will weigh once, maybe twice a week.  My body is a temple of the Holy Spirit and I need to treat it as such.

I will take a new attitude when it comes to hounding Bushie about his bad decisions and maybe even say something nice at some point in the future. I definitely need to cut down on all the sass I give him at some point and replace that with more unabashed encouragement of whatever he decides is right. My ego and I are also will try to be nicer this year at some point. We'll still have our episodes of calling Bushie a grotesquely lazy cretin and/or possibly mentally-handicapped fool, but we'll cut those down quite a bit at some point. When I'm at home in the evenings on the Update, I will have either watered-down rage or filtered anger. I will try to lean for the former at some point. I will also stop posting in this thread by 2000. There are things I will change this year at some point. I will also not read Update everyday at some point. I will read it and get angry once, maybe twice a week. My mind is a temple of the Holy Spirit and I should probably treat it as such at some point and will think about this at least one more time at some point.

[TheDeadFlagBlues]

NYT BREAKING NEWS: BushOklahoma Declares War on Atlas Forum

[Keystone Phil]

NY DAILY NEWS: Our Dear Friend to Forum: Drop Dead

[JohnnyLongtorso]

New York Post: BUSHIE BINGES AND PURGES

[memphis]

Buzzfeed: The story of what this man did will change your life forever!

[King]

Buzzfeed: The story of what this man did will change your life forever!

UpWorthy: When This Man Told His Story, At First They Laughed At Him, And Then They Cried

[Simfan34]

The Economist: The Oklahoma Diet

[King]

I hope ODF did not die of a heart attack during the 4th quarter of the Cowboys-Lions game. Even my cardiovascular system was struggling to contain itself at the end.

[Joe Biden 2020]

I hope ODF did not die of a heart attack during the 4th quarter of the Cowboys-Lions game. Even my cardiovascular system was struggling to contain itself at the end.

Thankfully for me, I was in church during the second half.

[King]

I hope ODF did not die of a heart attack during the 4th quarter of the Cowboys-Lions game. Even my cardiovascular system was struggling to contain itself at the end.

Thankfully for me, I was in church during the second half.

Praise Bushie. Christ answered his prayers.

[Lief 🗽]

I hope ODF did not die of a heart attack during the 4th quarter of the Cowboys-Lions game. Even my cardiovascular system was struggling to contain itself at the end.

Thankfully for me, I was in church during the second half.

The Update writers sure do love their irony.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Lief, that would be definite irony since our pastor is an Eagles fan.  One of our deacons is a Cowboys fan, so sometimes they have a little trash talk. Clean, of course.

[Keystone Phil]

Lief, that would be definite irony since our pastor is an Eagles fan.

God bless him! And how dare you stray from the pastor.

[Joe Biden 2020]

Lief, that would be definite irony since our pastor is an Eagles fan.

God bless him! And how dare you stray from the pastor.

He is a fallible human being.  That's evidenced by his pro team choice!

[Thomas D]

I hope Green Bay hangs a 50 on you.

[Keystone Phil]

I hope Green Bay hangs a 50 on you.

They better not go that easy on Dallas.

[Joe Biden 2020]

I hope Green Bay hangs a 50 on you.

Green Bay is undefeated at home.  Dallas is undefeated on the road.  Something has to change.  Its going to be a dog fight the entire way. Both teams are evenly matched.  If Dallas can get DeMarco Murray off and running, we'll have a much better chance.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I hope Green Bay hangs a 50 on you.

Green Bay is undefeated at home.  Dallas is undefeated on the road.  Something has to change.  Its going to be a dog fight the entire way. Both teams are evenly matched.  If Dallas can get DeMarco Murray off and running, we'll have a much better chance.

So if your best offensive player has a good day you'll have a better chance?  Incredible analysis, Bushie.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I have such a bad feeling that Dallas ends up beating Green Bay. I hope I'm wrong.