Update XIX: Melancholy and the Infinite Napping

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Ha! Love the name.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

The best song ever written that doesn't include guitar or drums. Alas our protagonist is probably fully unaware of its existence...

20th will probably be close to Christmas, so I like the idea of that Santa CAD(D) one.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Here's something even more disturbing: https://www.tiaa-cref.org/public/products-services/tclife-insurance/utilize-our-tools/quote

You can't even get a quote for Bushie's stats for the lowest policy. It says to contact our agents.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Well the funeral should be covered, I remember from an earlier season Bushie (well his parents) are paying over $40/month for a ridiculously expensive life insurance policy he has no need for as he has no family or dependents. Though it'll at least compensate the costs of his parents effectively caring for him all these years though...

Actually based on the learnings from that calculator above, Bushie is actually quite lucky he's even getting a $40/month policy. The fact that insurance companies aren't willing to give a price estimate for a 32-year old non-smoker should disturb anyone, but he'll ignore it.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Bushie also thinks the 4th of July is a Christian holiday too FYI.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Bushie what did you eat today at Chick-Fil-A and McDonald's

Grilled Chicken Sandwich

Double Quarter Pounder w/ Cheese, no fries

Diet Dr Pepper at both places.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AndADietCoke

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

That literally happening is actually quite plausible.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Yeah that title kind of wrote itself.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Bushie, have you tried eating mixed nuts as a snack? They're filling and provide protein.

For all the flaws with Bushie's diet, lack of protein is not one of them. Actually getting plenty of protein is probably the only thing he does right.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I'm still rather amused at the buying "walking gear" as if walking is something you need special gear for. Think of all the dirt poor people in third world countries for whom its their only mode of transportation.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Yeah $3.99 is way too small of an amount for Bushie to be scammed. Hell even described above is too low. He'd have to at least sign up for a whole year paid up front or something.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Bushy probably worked more hours than I did last week.

But I have a pretty good excuse. And let me just say that as someone who went to work with the pain of a kidney stone, left early only after throwing up at work, and came in on an off day the next week to make up the hours while still somewhat groggy and reeling with the effects of it, I think I've earned the right to mock Bushie every time he has to go home early or not come in because his stomach aches a little or because he has a headache.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

That too. Everything I missed I'll get paid for.

But seriously once you've passed a kidney stone you'll stop losing sympathy you ever had for Bushie's tummyaches.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Well vacation time is preferably spent somewhere other than the ER of Hennepin County Medical Center...

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Kidney stones destroy your appetite too. Mine still hasn't recovered.

Maybe Bushie needs one. Excruciatingly painful but probably better in the long run for him.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

That too. Everything I missed I'll get paid for.

But seriously once you've passed a kidney stone you'll stop losing sympathy you ever had for Bushie's tummyaches.

Did you ever get health insurance?

Yeah, I did after Obamacare.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Why is Bushie so intent on moving back to Tulsa after this contract? it's not like he has deep roots there or a better chance of landing another CADD job being a smaller metro.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Cameroon is a predominately French and English speaking country. What other languages do they need to translate the Bible into? Even if there are some obscure tribal languages there that don't have a translation yet it's not particularly relevant since anyone speaking such a language would also speak French or English.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Guys, what part of "we are not having this discussion tonight" do you refuse to understand?

Mine isn't really a theology question.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

But what people in Cameroon can't already read the Bible? Everyone there already speaks French or English.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

FWIW instead of moving back to Tulsa for no reason, maybe Bushie should look at North Dakota instead. My mom said that the job market in Bismarck now is so hot that you can make $12/hour at McDonald's.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

OK after actually thinking about the leasing situation, I just realized this is complete and utter insanity even by Bushie's standards. Let's review:

-Bushie perhaps does have a valid point in that breaking his lease isn't really an option at this point. If he has to give 60 day notice and wait until the apartment is filled, then he can't break it until February, and if the lease ends in March and if the landlord has vacancies already they'll rent first, then he probably won't be free until the end of March anyway. The best option would've been a sublease, but it might be too late for even that too now.
-However Bushie has said his current contract runs until April. In other words, unless he gets fired before then (not unlikely with his track record but not something I know he'd ever consider), there's no chance of him moving back to Tulsa before April.
-Hence if he renews his lease, he'll be doing so with no job in Tulsa (and perhaps even a job in OKC still around or easier to obtain). There's nothing keeping him in Tulsa. Nothing. He only lived there a couple months, has no family, probably few friends, and going to a church picnic once a month isn't a valid enough reason to be paying hundreds, especially since he was part of churches in the OKC area for far longer prior to that.

Essentially the only time renewing the lease would make any sense whatsoever is if Bushie had a job in Tulsa lined up after his current one ends. But he doesn't, it's hard to see how he will, and there's no reason he's more likely to land a job in Tulsa than OKC. The fact that he's even considering renewing his lease is one of the most irrational things I can imagine.

So why is he so intent on returning to Tulsa after this contract and keeping his apartment? Honestly, the only reason I can think of is his cable package...which says volumes if so. As is the fact that he won't even cancel it, keeping discounts for a city he's not going to live in again isn't keeping anything. So Bushie is basically flushing hundreds of his parents' money a month to keep a cable package only watches a couple times a month, and is considering even renewing it to continue it.

Of all the absurd things that have happened in Update, this ranks near the top. Someone please point out if I missed anything because even with what I've seen in Update in the past, I'm having trouble comprehending this.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

and that's a pretty flimsy justification to spend hundreds of dollars. Even if Bushie landed a job immediately after moving back to Tulsa, he still spent one month past his lease on rent and his massive cable package. Any rational individual would conclude they could simply stay in the OKC area and get free rent for a couple more months while looking for a job instead of having to pay more of his parents' money to do so an hour and a half away. This doesn't even take into account scenarios such as his current employer offering a new contract or even a permanent positions once this one ends. Even if that doesn't happen if he started looking for a new job a couple weeks before this one ends, he could likely get one, and clearly it's going to be easier to job hunt in the OKC than Tulsa area.

The question posed above was also before he even talked about RENEWING his lease. That's just complete and utter insanity. Al put it as bluntly as possible, but it needs to be repeated over and over. In fact I'd argue renewing his lease might be the dumbest thing Bushie since he quit his job for that scam, and even less understandable.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

We may not come to a final decision tonight as the final decision rests solely on me and I don't have to decide right away.

I think the final decision should rest on those paying for the apartment.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Bushie, how many orphans living in Darkest Africa could you feed and house with the money that you're spending on rent and premium cable?

Didn't he say it cost $35/month to fund "his" children in Kenya? So in other words he could fund at least three times as many if he'd drop the cable package