Update XIX: Melancholy and the Infinite Napping

[memphis]

Please no canned veggies. They have no bulk and are loaded with salt. Completely defeats the purpose. Get a fresh broccoli crown. Boil for just about 1 minute.  Put some Mrs. Dash on it for flavor. Easiest thing in the world. Are you allowed to use the stove at grandma's or do the same rules apply as at home? Is she your mother's mother or your father's mother?

[memphis]

I just looked through the lease paperwork and I couldn't find anything mentioning voluntarily ending the lease early.

Why don't you actually talk to the landlord to see if there are any other options open to you on breaking the lease early?  This is what I suggested last month, and you said "I guess I could call up here next week and ask.  The offices are closed on weekends.", but you apparently never followed through.

Talk to the landlord? That's hilarious. Bushie undoubtedly lives in a large complex, owned by one mega company and managed by another. There will be a leasing agent, who can tell him that they will sue him for the remained of the rent due if he does not pay up.

[memphis]

I just looked through the lease paperwork and I couldn't find anything mentioning voluntarily ending the lease early.

Why don't you actually talk to the landlord to see if there are any other options open to you on breaking the lease early?  This is what I suggested last month, and you said "I guess I could call up here next week and ask.  The offices are closed on weekends.", but you apparently never followed through.

Talk to the landlord? That's hilarious. Bushie undoubtedly lives in a large complex, owned by one mega company and managed by another. There will be a leasing agent, who can tell him that they will sue him for the remained of the rent due if he does not pay up.

Leasing agent, landlord, whoever.  If the demand is high, then why wouldn't they be OK with having a tenant pay a penalty to get out of the lease early, and then putting someone else in there immediately?  They'd make more $ that way.

I know where you live, housing is scarce (and therefore expensive) and it's easy to find new tenants. In Middle America, there is an enormous oversupply of housing (which is why it is so cheap) because people are constantly in search of greener whiter and newer pastures. It can be tough to rent a property.

[memphis]

Bushie's diet, Day 1:

Bushie doesn't live inside a McDonalds advertisement, much as he may want to. The thing he ate looked more like this:

[memphis]

What will you have for thanksgiving dinner?

Stove top stuffing

Sigh....

[memphis]

As far as the mixes go, Pepperidge Farms stuffing is pretty good, even when it's not cooked in the bird. Stove Top is the Natty Light of stuffing.

[memphis]

Stuffing is just soggy bread. No need to get uptight about whether it was from a box or "fresh."

Gonna go out on a limb and say you've either never had Stove Top or have only had Stove Top. The difference is the chemicals used to flavor it.

[memphis]

Nestle coming to Bushie's rescue: http://www.businessinsider.com/nestle-is-brewing-a-fat-burning-drink-2014-11

Bushie will definitely consider thinking about buying those, once the holiday season is over.

Is it possible Bushie is worried about being ostrecized by his fellow Okies if he becomes an uppity healthy?

I doubt Bushie has thought it through that far, but in a counterfactual universe where he did lose a lot of weight and get his health together, he likely would face some backlash. I've lost about 25-30 lbs over the last year or so, and even though my bmi remains in the 'overweight" category my father has made a few snarky comments about my weight. He definitely yearns for the day when I was officially "obese" just like everybody else in my family.

[memphis]

This is getting boring. Bushoklahoma needs a new girl. Do you use Tinder, Bushie?

The next great update storyline.  Download it now Bushie,  its FREE

I'm sure there's an app out there with identical functionality but about 5% the membership, that costs $39.99 monthly, billed automatically.  That's the one for Bushie!

[memphis]

Yeah, Bushie is doing some major lying by omission regarding what he eats. Lots and lots of cheatsnacks are going unreported. But whatever. Update is in the style of William Faulkner. The narrator is clearly neither omniscient nor honest.

[memphis]

At least we know he'll eat healthier on Thanksgiving as Grandma will serve green beans.

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https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=200654.msg4371701#msg4371701

[memphis]

Whatever happened to the job he applied for at Wally World?

[memphis]

I ate a ridiculous amount also. It was only my dad and me this year, so I just made lunch reservations for the Thanksgiving buffet at the Holiday Inn, which was pretty darn good. I went to the gym first thing because I knew I'd be in no condition for any physical activity after eating. It has been over 4 hours now since we ate, and I'm still way too full. This must be what Bushie feels like everyday. I sure as heck don't feel like doing anything productive now. You just don't know a man until you walk drive a mile in his shoes.

[memphis]

IceSpear, I have thought about the procedure, but I guess I'm too afraid of going under the knife.

Does it scare you more than a heart attack?

Bushie's health is so bad that at this point, even losing weight by taking up cigarette smoking would probably be a net gain for him.

Losing weight by taking up crystal meth would probably be a net gain for him at this point.

[memphis]

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Not that many Americans are at a point where it's much of a concern, but there are health risks associated with being under weight as well. I wouldn't say minimal is the right word to put there. Also, I remember back when Bushie was barely morbidly obese

[memphis]

My reaction to Bushie's all cheeseburger diet is similar to that when I hear about alcoholics drinking everyday. I like having a cheeseburger or a beer from time to time, but either one every day to the exclusion of other options sounds very unappealing and I don't get it. That said, there are other vices that would sound appealing all the time. I suppose everybody is wired differently.

[memphis]

I really need to lose weight.  I'm sure if I lost even 25-50 pounds, my back would feel better.  So, I am going to try to behave myself the rest of the year except for Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day.  I know I'll feel better if I can get some of this weight off.

I need to eat more vegetables and I will do so.  Maybe not every single meal, but most meals.  As far as exercise, I need to make the time to do it.

You made those comments more than a week ago.  Since then (even leaving aside Thanksgiving as a "free day" from your diet) have your eating habits changed at all?  Are you eating any vegetables?  And have you done any exercise besides bowling?

I am eating more vegetables.  Mainly more green beans.  I haven't done any other exercising, but bowling is a pretty good exercise program on its own.

Tell me more about your green beans. Are they fresh or canned? How do you cook/season them? I wouldn't say bowling is meaningless. It's good to do things that you enjoy and it's certainly better than watching tv for 16 hours straight. But it's not thorough exercise either.

[memphis]

Tell me more about your green beans

[memphis]

For the record, the South does not have a much of a history of veggies and nutritious eating. To the contrary, nutritional deficiencies remained epidemic well into the 20th century, to the extent that the federal government had to mandate enriching flour and other staples with vitamins so that people would no longer get rickets, pellagra, and scurvy. People in the Old South ate almost exclusively corn. Not the sweet corn most of us are familiar with, but field corn, which is a grain that requires the same sort of grinding and cooking that wheat, the staple crop in the Northern states, requires. Corn grits, corn bread, and maybe, on a good day, some corn meal fried catfish doesn't make a healthy human anymore than cheeseburgers and soda do, both of which are also heavily reliant on corn. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Rickets

Pellagra

Diabetes:
After googling images of what diabetes does to the body, I decided not to post them because they are very grotesque. Ampuations and massive open wounds and such....

[memphis]

the causality on those maps has a lot to do with tobacco smoking, and not solely dietary habits.

Tobacco certainly leads to shorter life spans, but nicotine is a stimulant and, therefore, an appetite suppressant. There is no reason why cigarette use should lead people to obesity. If anything, it should do the opposite.

[memphis]

If only people cared about real things as much as they care about the details of their made up superstitions. Sigh...

[memphis]

I see nothing wrong with decorating for Christmas weeks before Halloween.

We know, Bushie. You have made that point exceedingly clear.

[memphis]

Advent is also a penitential season, but I doubt Bushie or his church will be giving that much thought.

Advent and Christmas are the same seasons.  By celebrating Advent, we are celebrating Christmas and vice-versa.  It's like Lent and Easter, they are one in the same.  You're right, though, Southern Baptists don't generally celebrate either Advent or Lent.  It doesn't make us wrong.

Celebrating Christmas without Advent and Easter without Lent is celebrating the feast without the fast, it's like the Resurrection without the Cross, the birth without the labor, and the victory without the battle. Not to pick on you in particular Bushie since you're far from the only one who sees it this way, but how are we going to build a Christian culture of virtue upon self-denial if we throw out all the parts of Christianity that deal with that?

What you and Nathan seem to be suggesting is that we shouldn't be listening to Christmas music or celebrating Christmas in any way but for a couple days each year?

Christmas last almost two weeks, Bushie. That's no small amount of time for festivities. You can even make a case from tradition for dragging it out until around the Feast of the Presentation of the Lord if you really want to.

That's a pretty short amount of time, in all honesty.  It should last one or two months, not 12 days.  Eh, I'll stick with the Southern Baptist tradition of Christmas all the month of December.  By the time January 1 rolls around, I'm starting to turn my focus toward Easter and Springtime.

Other than shopping and erecting plastic junk from Hobby Lobby, what does one do for the entire month of December?

[memphis]

Advent is also a penitential season, but I doubt Bushie or his church will be giving that much thought.

Advent and Christmas are the same seasons.  By celebrating Advent, we are celebrating Christmas and vice-versa.  It's like Lent and Easter, they are one in the same.  You're right, though, Southern Baptists don't generally celebrate either Advent or Lent.  It doesn't make us wrong.

Celebrating Christmas without Advent and Easter without Lent is celebrating the feast without the fast, it's like the Resurrection without the Cross, the birth without the labor, and the victory without the battle. Not to pick on you in particular Bushie since you're far from the only one who sees it this way, but how are we going to build a Christian culture of virtue upon self-denial if we throw out all the parts of Christianity that deal with that?

What you and Nathan seem to be suggesting is that we shouldn't be listening to Christmas music or celebrating Christmas in any way but for a couple days each year?

Christmas last almost two weeks, Bushie. That's no small amount of time for festivities. You can even make a case from tradition for dragging it out until around the Feast of the Presentation of the Lord if you really want to.

That's a pretty short amount of time, in all honesty.  It should last one or two months, not 12 days.  Eh, I'll stick with the Southern Baptist tradition of Christmas all the month of December.  By the time January 1 rolls around, I'm starting to turn my focus toward Easter and Springtime.

Other than shopping and erecting plastic junk from Hobby Lobby, what does one do for the entire month of December?

Christmas parties, listening to Christmas carols, make preparations for the Christmas Day feast, buy presents for all the kids, but most of all, spend the time worshipping the real reason for the season - Jesus Christ.  Without Him there would be no Christmas and no reason to be happy.

You do the Jesus thing all year round. What do you do differently in December? Go to parties, go shopping, and eat a lot? Wait, you do all of those things year round also.

[memphis]

Like I said, in Bushie's case--this obviously isn't the case for everybody, but in Bushie's case--the rejection of the liturgical year and in particular of the penitential seasons is part and parcel of the same complex of terrible theology that is ruining his life, and by extensions the lives of his loved ones.

If only Bushie were Catholic (or Episcopal or Whatever) his life would be saved and he would be a totally upstanding person