Update XIX: Melancholy and the Infinite Napping

[Indy Texas]

What I need is a new attitude on my health.  I asked God on the way home from work to give me that new attitude and the desire, willpower, and discipline to make the changes I need to make and stick to them.  In a few minutes, after I finish this glass of unsweetened iced tea, I am going to get me a glass of water.  That will make 4 glasses of water (counting the iced tea as water).

That's not how this works. That's not how ANY of this works!!!

[Indy Texas]

As the Bible says in the book of James - Faith without works is dead.

That pretty much flies in the face of the entire "Jesus loves me anyway so why bother trying?" attitude you've lived your entire life by.

[Indy Texas]

Why can't you live with Granny for the duration of this contract and then wait until you get a long-term job until you get a new apartment?

(1) How much of a cash cushion do you have? Your finances are f#$%ed up and you have no business living on your own unless you can say you have at least 3 months of living expenses liquid in savings. Not when you have your debt load, not when your parents are still helping you out, not when you have a way to avoid the expense of rent at least temporarily.

(2) Your quality of life will be better if you have a shorter commute. You don't have kids - screw good school districts and "safe neighborhoods" and all that crap. You'll have more time in the morning and evening to actually live your life - and less of an excuse not to actually get off your ass and go do something.

[Indy Texas]

Bushie,

Consider getting your protein intake from more non-meat sources since the meat sources you eat are so horrific and unhealthy (bottom-of-the-barrel/cow ground beef that's probably 90% fat; chicken coated in grease, batter and salt derived from a chicken that met its grim fate in a Heartland processing facility getting ripped apart by overweight schmucks not terribly different from yourself).

Being an Ay-rab, I often simply use hummus in lieu of meat - today my lunch was fresh vegetables with hummus, and an apple. Lentils are another very versatile option.

Is your brother a Fat like you?

[Indy Texas]

I am not going vegetarian or less meat.  That one is out.

Yet again, you say you're going to diet and then proceed to add a bunch of caveats that make it totally worthless.

Not going to cut back on meat...not going to change anything about Thanksgiving/Christmas...still no mention of any exercise of any kind...having a Quarter Pounder is perfectly fine because you skipped the fries...

...so basically you've done jack sh*t. You're not fooling anyone.

[Indy Texas]

C'mon guys, there's nothing wrong with pigging out and enjoying yourself on holidays, especially holidays known for mega-feasts like Thanksgiving and Christmas, as long as you behave yourself the rest of the year.  It's two days out of the year you can eat like a fatso and have no regrets.  One also does not have to go vegetarian to eat healthier.  Red meat is not bad if eaten in moderation.

Except that you don't behave yourself the rest of the year and you don't eat anything in moderation. You don't get to "cheat a little" when your entire life you've been playing on Easy Mode.

[Indy Texas]

How many of you have ever had 2 bowls of cereal in one sitting? I can't say I ever have.

That's normal for me, especially if the bowl is small.  Occasionally, I'll pour a third bowl if I'm really hungry.  I remember as an elementary-school kid I downed 8 bowls of cereal in one sitting.  That's my record and something I cannot do anymore due to my lactose semi-intolerance.

And Mama Bushie probably gleefully poured you more Count Chocula and dismissed any criticism with, "He's a growin' boy!"

[Indy Texas]

What will you have for thanksgiving dinner?

Stove top stuffing

Sigh....

Yes. Certain relatives of mine did this for years. I think they're disgusting. Stove top stuffing and not in-bird? An insult to both America and Jesus.

Okay, enough. (1) Some of us don't have time to make stuffing by hand. (2) Cooking it in the bird is a recipe for food poisoning.

The Family Texas is having barbequed pulled pork for Thanksgiving dinner. The stuffing will not have been inside the animal in question at any point.

[Indy Texas]

[Indy Texas]

IceSpear, I have thought about the procedure, but I guess I'm too afraid of going under the knife.

Does it scare you more than a heart attack?

Bushie's health is so bad that at this point, even losing weight by taking up cigarette smoking would probably be a net gain for him.

[Indy Texas]

Hasn't it already been established that Bushie thinks the world is going to end in like 10 years? What kind of motivation can one have when they operate under that assumption?

[Indy Texas]

The grass really will be greener on the other side!
***
I know when I die, I will get the last laugh. I truly believe that I'm in good shape either way.

Is that the kind of feel-good nonsense your kind of people use to keep from going out back and deep throating the barrel of a shotgun?

Fifty years at best living in a trailer home in the part of America that is such a sh!thole that it was the absolute last thing we stole from the Native Americans. And the last twenty of those years are spent as a barely mobile, hypertensive, diabetic, suffocating blob of fat that can't even go bowling without leaving its muscles throbbing in pain. No enjoyment of life whatsoever. The only reason church is so appealing is because you can sit down the entire time and there's a full spread of food to eat afterwards.

You'd better keep telling yourself the grass is greener on the other side. Because if it's not, the one life you were given to live will have been a complete and utterly pathetic waste. Luckily, if that's the case, you will have ceased to exist and will be spared the regret and self-recrimination.

[Indy Texas]

So you said you were going to take a "day off" of dieting on Thanksgiving because it's a "holy day" and there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.

What is your excuse for eating a cheeseburger on Saturday, November 29?

[Indy Texas]

So you said you were going to take a "day off" of dieting on Thanksgiving because it's a "holy day" and there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.

What is your excuse for eating a cheeseburger on Saturday, November 29?

He already explained that.  He needed bowling energy.

He's got a good 100+ pounds of bowling energy stored around his midsection.

[Indy Texas]

Good Sunday Afternoon.  I am home from a great worship service.  Very insightful.  The message helped to re-confirm my calling to move to Kenya.  I was starting to get down on myself that I wasn't doing what I need to to get there, but then after talking with my best friend at the church, I realize that maybe I am.  I am working right now and Mom and I are very successfully paying off my debt so I can be debt-free when I do go.  I'm still probably 3-4 years away from moving over there, but I'm hoping that sometime in 2018 or 2019 I can move over there for a year or two.  I am not called to go now, but I am called right now to start preparing myself to go over there.  Mom and I just paid off a major bill in October and I am starting to snowball onto another bill.  I am going to sit down with my pastor pretty soon and get his insight into what I need to be doing.

Why is it always you and Mom? I thought your dad was the one who actually works in the family so isn't he basically the one helping you pay those bills?

And please don't ever talk about snowballing bills again. I can only assume that's what happens after the sidejackin' is over.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=snowball

[Indy Texas]

This nifty calculator proves that you did not burn off jacksh*t when you went bowling.

Assuming you weigh 300 pounds, it would take you an hour of consistent bowling to burn 273 calories.

People have to realize that since I'm living with someone, there are some changes I cannot make.  I will not be rude and not eat what she gives me.  Hospitality and manners are far more important than losing weight.  That said, I can try to encourage healthy eating.  Grandma usually fixes healthy meals.  Healthy doesn't have to involve stir-fry type dishes.  Meat and vegetables are what she grew up on at the table and is what she passes down to her kids and grandkids.  Roast, ham, and beef and noodle casserole can be healthy.  Mashed potatoes are not outrageously bad.  Green Beans do not have to be fresh.  Canned GB works just as well especially when she doesn't put margarine in them.  Old country, southern cooking is not inherently unhealthy.

Or how about you cook your own damn food and let her cook hers. I would tell you to think of her as a roommate but that would imply that you were paying rent or otherwise pulling your weight around there, which you aren't. Granny Bushie can eat whatever the hell she wants. Given her age, she probably had to live through the Depression and the Dust Bowl and spent much of her early life subsisting on beans and bread while her family pulled together to save the dirt farm. Unlike you, I doubt she had the body of a 50 year old at age 32.

If "old country, southern cooking" is so healthy, then why are you and everyone else in the Sooner State so enormous? You don't see a correlation there?

[Indy Texas]

You'd think I'd learn and stop updating.

Well, you haven't. Just like you haven't learned to eat better or exercise.

But please, continue to tell us all about all the things you intend to plan on trying to do but not on holidays and not if there's a birthday party for a second cousin and only if God descends from the heavens himself and basically does everything for you.

[Indy Texas]

I may lose more weight if I don't have birds chirping in my ear all the time criticizing me for every adverse and boneheaded move.

You haven't lost any weight.

[Indy Texas]

I just got back from Walmart and got everything you suggested and will fix that for my lunch tomorrow.  I'm glad to know that mustard is good.  I've never liked mayo because of taste and I feel it is less healthy than mustard.  IIRC, and correct me if I'm wrong, the only thing mustard has that's more unhealthy than mayo is more sodium.  Mustard has no calories and very little fat and therefore doesn't add much to the sandwich or whatever its put on except a little sodium.  Like I said, please tell me if that's not true and tell me what the correct figures are.

?!?!?!

[Indy Texas]

I just got back from Walmart and got everything you suggested and will fix that for my lunch tomorrow.  I'm glad to know that mustard is good.  I've never liked mayo because of taste and I feel it is less healthy than mustard.  IIRC, and correct me if I'm wrong, the only thing mustard has that's more unhealthy than mayo is more sodium.  Mustard has no calories and very little fat and therefore doesn't add much to the sandwich or whatever its put on except a little sodium.  Like I said, please tell me if that's not true and tell me what the correct figures are.

?!?!?!

Am I missing something? This seems like some kind of exercise in false outrage.

It has very few calories (not enough to be listed on the label), but the idea that any food derived from naturally occurring plants would literally have zero calories is completely illogical.

We don't want Jeff guzzling down mustard by the jarful and thinking he's found a loophole.

[Indy Texas]

Why do you always forget your meds.........seriously, you're not 6

They were just pain killers that I forgot today, but you're right, I do forget my regular meds a lot.  I am going to start leaving some meds at each place I would stay so I don't run into this problem.

Just in this season you and Papa drove to Tulsa for a medicine run.  That's insane.

Especially considering any pharmacy will dispense you an "emergency" pack of a few pills for instances like that.

[Indy Texas]

LOL, of course there is a soda.

My meals are usually pretty simple. For breakfast, I have a cup of special k with some sliced banana, and a cup and a half of grapes after. For a snack, I'll have some celery. Lunch is a black bean boca patty on a sandwich thin with some low fat cheddar, and carrots to go with it. Mid-day snack is either coco almonds, or some more grapes. Dinner tonight is an asian style fried rice with brown rice, with some egg whites, and FILLED with fresh veggies that I got from the store.

At no point today, did I drink any thing other than a cup of tea in the morning (no cream or sugar..not a diet thing, just hate them in my tea) and my water.

What's wrong with the pop?  You gloss over a healthy meal and focus on the pop, which has no calories on its own?  That's pretty arrogant.

Just because there are no calories, doesn't make it good. It dehydrates you.. it makes you hungrier, and just adds crap to your system that you shouldn't' be having. It's pretty arrogant of you to assume that just because it is diet, that it is good for you.l

What do you expect me to drink when there is no water, except for tap water, in the break room?

You could bring a bottle of water with you to work. You could bring a thermos of tea.

How is there nothing but tap water? What kind of horrid sweatshop do you work at?

[Indy Texas]

What I need to do is get one of those 32 oz. jugs like you would get at a hospital and put water in it. 

Or if Nalgenes are too passé,

[Indy Texas]

Seriously, how much stuff can Jeff possibly own? And how did it get into the apartment in the first place? Movers?

I'm going to feel ill if Bushie père and mère had to dip into their meager savings to fully furnish an apartment with brand new furniture and a big screen TV (to watch the premium cable package on).

The alternative is that there's nothing but cheap Ikea and Target crap in there and Bushie is going to waste all this time and gas to "check on" things that nobody wants to steal and that he's not going to miss if they're gone.

[Indy Texas]

There is an old saying in Christianity when doing mission work that is so true "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."  That's what Maisha (the Kenyan orphanage I'm involved with) does, they feed the children and the widows, educate them, clothe them, and teach them Jesus.

Oh please, sending a toiletry gift basket that your mom paid for every year or so doesn't make you "involved" with it.

For someone who spends as much time at church as you do, I've never once heard you mention doing any kind of community service or good works. No volunteering at food banks or homeless shelters. No raising money for poor people in your own community.