Legalize 4Loko Party

[TheDeadFlagBlues]

*University of Phoenix History Professor DeadFlagBlues clutches a vintage 4Loko before pounding it*

Ladies and gentlemen,

It's time that we end cocaine bailouts for Wall Street and give 4Loko bailouts to Main Street. The people aren't asking for much: they want a chicken in the pot, a car in the garage and a six-pack of 4Lokos in the fridge. The elites are a wholly owned subsidiary of the cocaine industry and they refuse to listen to the voice of the people. They sip bourbon while doing fat lines of blow, a commodity that's out of the reach of the average Atlasian, while decrying the evils of 4Loko at the behest of their fat cat friends. Meanwhile, the average Atlasian who wants to get loaded with his friends is gouged at the tap. This must stop.

Legalize 4Loko will make your wallet fatter and get you loaded. We won't stop until the people's voices are heard.

[Maxwell]

Thank you for this bountiful party!

[Filuwaúrdjan]

The Transcendental Democrats support the legalisation of 4Loko.

[TNF]

There are no currently prohibited drugs at the federal level, so I'm inclined to believe that 4Loko is already legal in Atlasia.

[Lief 🗽]

Senator-elect Lief is very interested in these issues. Our office will be in touch with representatives from your party on how we can make this dream a reality in the next legislative session.

[Velasco]

The Olive Tree Party (formerly known as...) fully supports the legalisation of 4Loko and recommends a six-pack in every Atlasian fridge.