Admitting my alcoholism

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Yea, pretty much self-explanatory.  I had that post earlier today... pretty much came close to taking my own life.  Still feeling like sh**t.  I know that there are some other people on here who have dealt with this issue. 
 
Reaching out because this sh**t will kill me.  I just don't know how to overcome this.  It's owned my life for a solid 10 years now. 

[J-Mann]

Yea, pretty much self-explanatory.  I had that post earlier today... pretty much came close to taking my own life.  Still feeling like sh**t.  I know that there are some other people on here who have dealt with this issue. 
 
Reaching out because this sh**t will kill me.  I just don't know how to overcome this.  It's owned my life for a solid 10 years now. 

Dude, text me if you ever need to. Please.

[Keystone Phil]

I'm here for you, pal. Especially in the wake of our Eagles' collapse.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Thank you to J-Mann for chatting with me today. 

[Ban my account ffs!]

Treatment is always a good option if you can find a good program.  I'm not an alcoholic but I lived with one for 15 years more or less and saw 10 years of sobriety followed by two relapses.

It's a terrible burden to bear, but you have to tackle it with professional help.  You'll likely never just stop on your own.  Not for long.

I don't know about non 12 step programs because of your beliefs... But they must e around.

[ilikeverin]

*hughughug*

[afleitch]

One on one counselling can be a great help. I hope you find assistance that works for you.

[Indy Texas]

I've heard mixed reviews about AA, and honestly I don't think it would be a good fit for you given the Bushie-like emphasis on how no one can do anything unless God/Higher Power enables them to.

Inpatient rehab supposedly has better results, but it's also expensive as hell and health insurance is reluctant to pay for it.

[DemPGH]

Sorry to hear this, HockeyDude. I wish you the very best, and do whatever you must to beat it. You can.

[Modernity has failed us]

Best of luck, Hockeydude. Hopefully the Devils stay bad to cheer you up

[Sol]

Yeah, I think definitely some sort of help will help you beat this addiction. I agree that AA probably isn't the best choice, but don't let Jesus freaks stop you from getting the help you need. I'm thinking of ya.

[WalterMitty]

i am an atheist.  and an aa 'member.'

[patrick1]

I'm a believer and don't really do AA.  However, most importantly I havent had a drink in 2.5 years now. If something is interfering with your physical and mental health, it is time to develop a strategy to get and stay sober. If you are physically addicted like I was then you should probably see a doctor, which I didnt. Withdrawal absolutely sucks and if you havent really experienced it, consider yourself fortunate. If you can get past the physical part, then the deeper issue is to break the patterns and routines around your drinking and try to identify why you feel the need to get blacked out in the first place. This can be a combination of genetics, depression, environment etc.  I think some form of therapy really helps, it did for me.

Good luck man. Just remember that you have a very bright future ahead of you, even though you man not be able to see it with cloudy eyes. Reach out anytime you need to man. Quitting drinking was the best decision Ive made and I have more fun than I ever did.

'Pat

[WalterMitty]

I've heard mixed reviews about AA, and honestly I don't think it would be a good fit for you given the Bushie-like emphasis on how no one can do anything unless God/Higher Power enables them to.

Inpatient rehab supposedly has better results, but it's also expensive as hell and health insurance is reluctant to pay for it.

inpatient rehab is great.  but...when you get out you are still an alcoholic.  that is where aa comes in.

as for the bushie-like emphasis on god/higher power, i havent seen much of that.  sure the big book is a product of its time (im not a big book thumper).  and yes some aa people get really hard core into the god thing.  if that keeps them sober, i dont think it is a bad thing.  those people are the minority though.  

granted lexington mass isnt choctaw oklahoma. so aa in other parts of the country may certainly be more centered on 'god.'

i would suggest young persons meetings for hockeydude.  aa tends to skew pretty old.  im typically the youngest or one of the youngest persons in every meeting i go to...and im 37!

[WalterMitty]

and as others have stated, it is very important to see a professional.

there is no way i could have remained sober for over 6 years now without treatment for my underlying mental illnesses.

[Fmr President & Senator Polnut]

There is no one solution. You need to talk to an actual professional to assess what the best treatment for you is.

I've seen this first-hand and the sooner you jump on it and start the work the better and more sustainable the outcome.

[IceSpear]

Have you ever talked to friends, family, or (more importantly) a professional about this? It sounds cliche, but the fact that you can admit there's a problem is a good first step.

[Platypus]

Good luck.

[Platypus]

Also I just want to say your alcoholism doesn't define you and it doesn't make you worthless. You are not nothing more than an alcoholic in the minds of those who care about you, unless you choose to give into it and define yourself that way. There's still the rest of you, and it's worth appreciating.

[© tweed]

the most prominent non-12 step option is SMART Recovery, and if you're in the tri-state area, there probably are face-to-face meeting options not too far away.

another pioneer in the non-12 step movement is Jack Trimpey.  his book & organization are called "Rational Recovery"


I have serious problems with the 12-step approach.  most object to the God issue, but my qualms with it way beyond that.  I notice you already taking on their language in "admitting your alcoholism": 12-step ideology has a deep hold on American discourse on drugs including alcohol.

as a note I am not abstinent from drugs including alcohol, and don't mean to imply that I am, nor am I a member or proponent of the groups I mentioned (though I am absolutely an opponent of AA)

[© tweed]

non-12 step resources

http://www.smartrecovery.org/
https://rational.org/index.php?id=1
http://www.peele.net/
http://www.moderation.org/
http://lifering.org/

[Peeperkorn]

I have also been an alcoholic since I was 18 years old and I have experienced everything. As a matter of fact, these last three weeks were the first "sober" time I've had in, say, three years (and I'm talking of heavy alcoholism, two bottles of whisky three times a week) But I'm confident I will be fine.

Work, studies, even some friends: all lost thanks to drinking. I also have General Anxiety Disorder, which not helps at all.

Before that I had two partial recoveries. First one came by reading the webpage of Rational Recovery, and it lasted like year and a half.

Second one was thanks to voluntary admission in a recovery center for one week. It lasted some months...my drug addicted boyfriend (I lived with him) didn't help and I fell again.

I tried AA two times. It doesn't work with me, not only for being an atheist, but also because you are constantly be reminded that your life, for good or for not good, is determined by alcohol. I don't share that perspective. Also, it's full of jerks.

My recommendation is that, the moment you recover (read my next post), change immediately your habits. The two times I went sober (and now) I started to do a lot of exercise, change to a healthy feeding, read difficult but interesting books or make plans for study (if you are not already at college or something)...I know it sounds crazy to go in one day to the other extreme, but it is what it works for me.

If I can be of any help, send me a PM so we can talk by facebook.

PS: If you look for a medical treatment only accept Benzodiazepines for withdrawall stage.

[Peeperkorn]

My advise:

- Talk with your family of friends, and go with them to the doctor and ask for voluntary admission in a recovery center. Withdrawall can be lethal without medication.
- Take a look to the webpages tweed put in his post and find which one you think it could fit with you. Always ask for advice, obviously.
- Try my advice of "radical change". Make a list with objectives for a new life.

If you are not confident you can ask for antabuse (disulfiram). But that would not be a real recovery.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

My advise:

- Talk with your family of friends, and go with them to the doctor and ask for voluntary admission in a recovery center. Withdrawall can be lethal without medication.
- Take a look to the webpages tweed put in his post and find which one you think it could fit with you. Always ask for advice, obviously.
- Try my advice of "radical change". Make a list with objectives for a new life.

If you are not confident you can ask for antabuse (disulfiram). But that would not be a real recovery.

Thanks.  I'm reading some of the AVRT literature now.  I luckily did not experience any (relatively bad) withdrawal symptoms, just general restlessness and feeling like [Inks]. 

[Ebowed]

The psychological withdrawal can last for a while and can be quite difficult.  I don't think AA offers a helpful perspective, personally.  In my own situation I found that I had been getting a lot of my 'nutrition' from booze so I made an effort to replace it with vegetables, seeds, and nuts.  It gave me a much needed health boost in a time where struggling with falling back into old habits was as much part of the daily routine as going to work.  Best of luck HockeyDude, feel free to PM me any time.