LGBTers - How did you come out?

[afleitch]

February 6th 2002.

Age 17.

Came home from school. Always planned to do it around this time; had even been accepted to a university away from home if I felt I needed to get away from home. Sat down next to my mum and told her. She didn't speak to me for two weeks. Dad was fine. Brothers and sister were not surprised.

Told everyone else at school who didn't already know the next day.

[President of the great nation of 🏳️‍⚧️]

Let it slip that I wanted to get rid of my balls in a conversation with my mom, November 3, 2016. Took a more formal approach in an email written March 1, 2017 (age 15 both times). Didn't have the guts to explicitly ask them to stop calling me by my deadname until June 8, 2018 (16). Started presenting as explicitly female on October 7 this year (18).

[IceSpear]

Well, when my IceSpear started having reactions for men and not women at age 12, I figured I could be gay or it might be a phase. When I was 16 (2009) I figured it was likely not a phase and "came out" to myself. I considered coming out publicly then too, but decided it wasn't worth the drama it would create at high school since I wouldn't know/care about 99% of those people after graduation anyway. I came out at 18 (2011) to my family/friends shortly after graduation. Some were surprised, others were not, but nobody really cared, which was ideal.

[Skunk]

Came out to my parents as transgender by writing a letter when I was 11 or 12. Don't remember how old I was but it was mid-2012.

[Sprouts Farmers Market ✘]

Whenever anyone asks or needs to be introduced to a partner, so like every few weeks. I found out (decided) when I was 21. The first person to ask was when I was 22.

[Lourdes]

I've been "out" in some form for as long as I can remember. It was honestly never much of a process for me.

I've never really considered myself a man, but I've only recently began outright identifying as non-binary. My friends and family members are still having some trouble with the pronouns, but overall they're supportive, like they've always been.

[GM Team Member and Senator WB]

I first realized I was Bi when I started shipping two male characters in a game series (I won't say who), but I don't remember how old I was. 14 maybe?

More recently I've become more and more gay leaning, especially after finding a certain visual novel and finding one of the male characters to be basically everything I wanted in a potential partner (this was August this year) which is also when I decided to come out to y'all as a furry.

However I actually haven't come out to my parents on either of these things, for whatever reason. They're completely accepting of both (apparently one of my mom's friends is a furry) but I just never felt like talking about it. I actually think that they think I'm asexual, which couldn't be farther from the truth.

Part of me wants to just say f**k it to the entire school and within the last week just get a megaphone and yell "HEY GUYS I'M A GAY ASS FURRY AND I'M YEETIN' MY ASS OUTTA HERE" but I probably won't have the guts to go for it

[Farmlands]

Haven't yet. I hate how you're viewed completely differently by some people once you come out, for the negative obviously, but I enjoy how things are and don't want to jeopardise any familial relationships. Only two close friends know.

[Swedish Rainbow Capitalist Cheese]

I never had a single big coming out occasion, it happened gradually over several years with different people.

The first person I told was my closest childhood friend, during summer break while we were out walking in the woods just outside my hometown. I was 14 at the time and just sort of decided to tell her, since I knew she was one of few kids in our school who was supportive of gay people. Then during high school I came out to a few other friends, my siblings and my mum. When I started University I decided I'd be completely open with all the new friends I made there. 

The last person I had a real coming out to was my dad five years ago. Since my parents have been divorced since I was 7, he didn't find out at the same time as the rest of the family. He's a socially conservative person and used to be quite prone to homophobia and I've had a strained relationship with him growing up, so he was the hardest one to tell. But at the time me and my current boyfriend was starting to get serious and I wanted to start bringing him home to family gatherings so there was no keeping it from my dad forever.

He was driving me to the train station after I'd been home on a visit and I told him that I'd met someone who I was planning to bring to my brother's birthday party and that it was a guy. To my big surprise, he took it quite well and didn't seem particularity surprised (he might have had his suspicions), but told me it was important that I didn't allow the relationship to derail my studies and a future career.

All in all, it was a 9 year long process, but I've been very lucky in that not a single person has had a problem with it.

[TrendsareUsuallyReal]

I’ve known I was bisexual for probably the last three years now. It took a while to admit to myself that “I’m straight, but I’d f—- Zac Efron” or something like that wasn’t a very normal thing for a straight guy to think. I’ve only had sexual relationships with females though. I lean more towards that side anyway, and life is just easier I think when everyone just assumes you’re straight. I’ve only told about a dozen of my closest friends from various points in my life, and told them all about five months ago

[bagelman]

Mom believed it was a phase, and she has nothing to go on as nothing has happened in 10+ years. Regardless, she'd be supportive no matter what. Dad found a pamphlet for a gay Olympics in Cleveland that I never went to 5 years ago. He was and is probably disappointed, but he's more of a distant friend than a family member. I told my friend 7.5 years ago and he didn't care, and has possibly forgotten. I was a member of an online community for a while and was out to them, but what friendships I had there didn't last and it was half and half between straight and M->F transgender, with all sorts of degeneracy involved.

As I've had no relationships and have never attempted to have one, the only relevant person who cares is me. I think I'm still disappointed.

[Mr. Illini]

When I was 18, my mother asked and I told her. I didn't tell anyone else for three years, when I told a close friend and a not-so-close friend (I was drunk).

[MarkD]

I wrote an essay for a college class about my desire to meet another gay man. I typed it on a typewriter on the kitchen table, then accidentally left the essay on the table when I went to school. By the time I came home from school, the whole family knew.

[Ban my account ffs!]

February 6th 2002.

Age 17.

Came home from school. Always planned to do it around this time; had even been accepted to a university away from home if I felt I needed to get away from home. Sat down next to my mum and told her. She didn't speak to me for two weeks. Dad was fine. Brothers and sister were not surprised.

Told everyone else at school who didn't already know the next day.

Hocus pocus oogum boogum abracaravola bippity boppity

[Ban my account ffs!]

Shoulda trusted big black women over a bunch of bleached in halve-wights

[Nutmeg]

Came out to 3 friends at 18, right after graduating from high school: 2 male friends I already knew to be gay (so safe space) + one girl I had a crush on, and told her so (so that was rather confusing). Then during college kind of regressed and went back in the closet/in denial, including dating a female for 3 years. Finally came out to myself once I graduated from college and moved to D.C., and then it was pretty easy to be open with people about it after that. Dated a guy for 5 years before I told my parents, who were amazingly supportive. But coming out is something of a continuous process, as I teach in LGBT Ally training I conduct at work as something of an extracurricular duty to my full-time job. Every time you're with new people, the assumption is that you're straight, so it's an ongoing activity, I suppose.