The Lief Reservoir of Simple Truths and Smart One-Liners

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

One of these is a morbidly obese man who has the worst possible judgment in all situations. He is completely incapable of learning from his mistakes, consistently makes the worst possible choice in every possible scenario, and is a deranged manchild completely lacking in maturity who has no understanding whatsoever of how his actions affect others and the negative impact he has in general.

The other is a cartoon character.

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

Boobs are just so great. Butts are all pretty much the same, and there's nothing to be done with them. There's a lot to be done with boobs.

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

Honestly, Robertson, who at least professes a kind of morality. Rand was a proud sociopath.

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

People who are interested in politics tend to be boring and lame.

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

The thing is... you are very, very American. Even your complaints about America are strikingly American. I doubt you would be happy anywhere else.

Well no sh**t, Americans complain about everything and take everything good for granted. Including myself.

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

War is hell and I always hate it but this was one of the few times where there was a truly existential threat to humanity that needed to be defeated.

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Arguing with a religious extremist is like trying to play chess with a pigeon. It knocks down all the pieces, sh**ts on the board, and still thinks it's outsmarted you.

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

The drinking age is the most political issue ever until you actually hit it,

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

'There is no reason to suppose that the world had a beginning at all. The idea that things must have a beginning is really due to the poverty of our thoughts.'--Bertrand Russell

Wasn't that, like, literally before we discovered the Univerese DID have a beginning?...

Atheists are to history what Baptists are to biology dude.

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

Massive FF, one of our best posters. If any ban was unjustified, it's this one.

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

Not really. It's just that if you think the Sanders campaign is mainly driven by racism against Hillary Clinton, then you're dead wrong. For one thing, actual racists would tend to hate Sanders more than Clinton.

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

If anyone ever starts a sentence with "If you're really a 'Christian', you believe..." it's best to ignore the river of bullsh**t that is about to come flooding down upon you.

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

communism sounds nice in theory...fascism doesn't.

some nice guys claim to be communists....usually doesn't happen in case of fascists

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

If you give government the ability to designate hate groups, prepare for pro-Palestinian protestors to be locked up as anti-Semites.

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

These Shoah comparisons gave me cancer. People aren't going to be gassed. They are going to be detained for being in the U.S. illegally.

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

The most recent Republican president who was not a racist was Dwight D Eisenhower.

This isn't the simple truths thread

Dwight Eisenhower was born in 1890 in Texas.  You're nothing short of a moron if you think he was less personally racist than Gerald Ford or George W Bush.

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

This is a wildly bad metaphor. The appropriate metaphor is someone who did something legitimately impressive and a major milestone, but was also an atrocious human being, and someone a bit closer related to the Americas.

Charles Lindbergh Day just about fits the bill.

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

Opposition to abortion has nothing to do with life, it’s about putting women back in the kitchen.

It is never about that and you know it.

Yes it is. You people just don’t like the fact that women aren’t their husband’s property anymore and have the right to decide whether or not to carry a pregnancy to term.

Funny, I wouldn't consider myself to be anyone's property. I also shouldn't have the right to end someone else's life out of personal convenience, nor should any other woman.

This could also go in the sick burn Sulfer Mine if it still existed.