Update XX: A Darn Good Judge of My Financial Situation

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

When your parents are living in poverty you try and be such a prideful Christian.  You are pathetic and not worthy.  Their life is ruined thanks to you but keep being prideful. 

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

If God be for me, who can be against me?

Hmm.  Romans, right?

Well the facts indicate that for 20 seasons of Update that God is not for you.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

I dunno if uber would be a good fit for Bushie. He obviously wasn't cool with his co-workers smoking reefer. How would he handle the late night drunk crowd?

God is his co-pilot, you see. 

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Uh, boys and girls, have you not learned in 20 seasons he doesn't drive when there's a flake of snow or rain..........driving is out of the question.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

You earn what you put into it.

When it comes to Our Dear Friend, thinking that will work is absurd.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

You all might, I repeat might, be proud of me:  My church friend (the one I went bowling with Thanksgiving weekend), knows I am looking for a job, so he sent me a Facebook post for an AT&T call center job fair this Saturday in NW Oklahoma City.  I laughed and moved on back to my CAD searching.  I gave it no consideration whatsoever.  I don't even remember the address except the street it was on.  I thank him for thinking of me, but I am done with call centers.

Brilliant setup. I think I know where this is going.

SMASH CUT TO:

INT. OFFICE CUBICLES -- NEXT MONDAY

CLOSE UP on BUSHIE'S freshly-shaven face, staring blankly into the distance.

AT&T SUPERVIOR (V.O.)
Welcome to AT&T call-center training...

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

...

Pathetic.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

You're being held at gunpoint or something?  Or maybe your parents are threatening to cut you off if you don't entertain the guests?

Yes.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Bushie, is your very successful and financially independent brother flying in to Okie to fart around with company for days on end at Mommy and Daddy's house?  Oh wait... Of course he's not, because he's rude and doesn't care if he disappoints all of you.

Idiot...

Man I wish I could read some of what Bushie's sister in law wrote, or know what she thinks.  She's an update hero.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Have you hit 290 yet?

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Jeff, why do you need to waste over a week indulging your moocher aunt & uncle? There is no reason for anyone to be anyone's houseguest - relative or not - for that long. Certainly not 4-5 times a year -- that is more than a MONTH a year. Do they not have jobs?

As I said, go up to OKC for one day. Have dinner. Say hello. A nephew does not owe an aunt and uncle who visit frequently any more than that.

Poor granny. RIP.

Get ready for the idiot comment, even though you are 1000% correct.  Moochers R Us.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

They eat at 4, and then again at 8 or 9.  Common sense would dictate to them that doing so isn't healthy but the Brown Clan know what's best.  Nothing Bushie can say will lead me to believe they go from 4PM til 6AM or so without eating again. 

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Title for next season:  Granny vs The Moochers.   

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Bushie, what did your 95 year old granny cook for the moochers yesterday?

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Bushie, most importantly do you like Katy Perry?

also how tall are you and how much do you weigh?

He's 5'7'' and says he currently weighs 291 295 lbs.

updated to take into account his 96 year old granny's cooking luscious meals for the moochers.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Bushie, what did your 95 year old granny cook for the moochers yesterday?

Plus are you napping today?

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

How many applications have you filled out today?

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

So Our Dear Friend watched the NBA reruns today while Papa puts in 12 hours and his retirement goals are further extended.  

Scumbag.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

How many applications have you filled out today?

None so far.  I've been looking, but haven't found anything really worth while.  It may be slow because of the holiday.

You realize the internets operate the same everyday, right? 

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

My curiosity got the best of me, so I just did a search on Amazon to see if there really are any lifelike brief-relaxation-minded dolls for sale there. I can confirm: There's a surprisingly large number of fake ladies, and they're especially creepy and expensive. Most in stock and ready to ship!

My Amazon recommendations are going to be really off for a very long time.

Better clear out your internet history or you'll be getting pop ups for those dolls like crazy. 

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

memphis, cut the sh**t, please.  Bushies needs to start working at Wal Mart, TODAY!!!  Lot's of money just passing him by here.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

This will sound like a broken record and probably will not be believed, which I can't blame, but I am going to try to eat better and start cooking for myself when I get up to Tulsa this weekend.  I'm going to start with the dishes I know, such as scrambled eggs, macaroni and cheese (stove top kind), and spaghetti and then branch out into other dishes as time goes on.  I'm not going to set any kind of elaborate goal just yet, I want to get started first before I set my sights on loftier goals.

NONE OF WHAT YOU SAID IS HEALTHY! YOU EPITOMIZE ALMOST EVERYTHING THAT IS WRONG WITH AMERICA!!! How can you be so ignorant about your health? Macaroni and Cheese is a combo of fat and carbs, you need to eat 3 Veggies (cheese isn't a veggie) and a protein and exercise and stop making excuses!!! omg!!!

Lol, easy solo......there a probably 100 identical posts from our dear friend describing his version of "healthier".  He's be better of going to Braums and simply ordering better than he does now.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

So making $7.25 an hour and having to take out of Mom's checkbook is out of the question, but making $0 an hour and having to take out of Mom's checkbook is just fine?

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

I wish Bushie would get on the diet I am on. I've never felt better and have more energy than I used to since giving up bread, rice, pasta, and all processed sugars. I didn't even need to diet, but health wise I think this is great.

Details, Dukey, details.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

i also assume that bushie has not 'scaled back' the unnecessary super duper cable package in the unnecessary apartment?