Update XX: A Darn Good Judge of My Financial Situation

[memphis]

I would also like to praise Update executive director, Eraserhead for his phenomenal work, and especially for granting my wish for an official Update theme song. You made my day. Interesting how you chose a McDonald's ad that was targeted at those people. Is it a nod to the episode where he worked at their call center? Is it foreshadowing further encounters in this season? It there a parallel being drawn between the African American experience and Bushie's exploits? Only time will tell. Again, Ehead, you're the best!

[memphis]

In the interest of getting a better handle on just what in the world is going on up in Tulsa, I call on Jeff Brown to release his 2014 income tax returns upon their completion and filing. What is he hiding from the viewers?

Meh, we all know Bushie made minimal income. That's not really all that surprising. What would offer better insight into the situation would be Papa's income statement. If Papa is pulling in substantially more money than we suspect, Bushie's leeching might not be so destructive. If they're just median income folks, it's obviously a whole different ball game.

[memphis]

This has been floating around the facialbook. It reminded me of the Update.

[memphis]

Do not dismiss my faith as irrelevant.

The man raises a valid point.

[memphis]

I checked and it appears that Uber is in both OKC and Tulsa. I would think that OKC would be busier, but who knows.

I had a religious Uber driver once, and it was Uber-annoying (see what I did there?). I said something like, "Thank God," and he said, "So, I noticed you mentioned God there ..." Oy!

Wow.  I would literally say "I'm an atheist, spare me" in the nastiest way possible as to not invite their almost assuredly pedestrian pre-programed response to the word "atheist".  Not that I would do that to anyone, but there is something so irritating about a person who would try to parlay an utterance of "oh god" into a diatribe about their religion.    

When I was in 10th grade I had an extremely uptight/Christian/strict English teacher. This was the one teacher in the entire school you really did NOT want to start anything with. She was also one of the best teachers in the school, for what it's worth. Anyhow, the class mascot/clown, who was unbelievably funny, also happened to be in that class with me. He was giving some sort of presentation in front of the whole class when he had a brain fart and couldn't remember what he was supposed to say. All of a sudden, under his breath but clearly audible he said to himself in frustration  "JesusChrist!" It was the most awkward experience I can remember about all of high school, and it wasn't even about me. Teacher gave him a serious tongue lashing. I will never forget it. But yet, I would still rather have had her for a teacher, than some new age hippie type who wanted to be everybody's friend. At the end of the day, her belief system was crazy, but she was damn good at her job.

[memphis]

Apply here:
http://www.braums.com

[memphis]

To be a fly on the wall while Bushie "teaches." Are you working with children or adults?

[memphis]

I'm holding out for a return of the enchilada casserole. It's been years since Bushie has posted about it.

[memphis]

What did you have for dinner? What is your target date to hit the big 3-0-0 on the scale?

He has a whole week of family dinners ahead. I think he can do it before the end of January if he focuses on it hard enough.

[memphis]

Update is not a comedy. It's a dark, dark show that has some funny moments, but even those are usually grotesque à la Breaking Bad.  Update is to America what Charlie Hebdo is to Islam. Fierce. Biting. Unrelenting.

[memphis]

How is Big Russ doing these days?

Message him over the facial and find out for yourself.

[memphis]

I can't imagine such an idea making it past his church friends, much less Ma and Pa's game plans. 

He could bill it as a trip to holy sites. Now I know the first thought will be "But...those are Cat-o-lick places, Jeffie!" I still think there's a way to work it.

Do any non-Mormon US churches send missionaries to (re)evangelize post-Christian Europe? I know some African churches try to. It would in many ways make more sense than going to already Christian parts of Africa.

I know the Internaional Mission Board goes all over the world to Europe, Africa, Asia, South America, Australia.  We have a mission to tell every single person on the face of the planet about Jesus Christ and give them the opportunity to acknowledge there is no other way to heaven but through Jesus Christ and accept Him into their life.  That's why the Bible is being translated into every single language and dialect on earth including local African languages like Luo and Swahili.

1. Do you think there are Europeans who haven't heard of Jesus? Frankly, it'd be a rare African who hasn't either, but I suppose there are a few stray isolates kicking around here or there.
2. You're translating the Bible into Swahili and Luo? Those are very common languages (in as much as either can be described as a single unified tongue). Why on earth would you need to do translation work? You may as well translate the Bible into Italian, and take Phil up on his offer to go to Europe and convert the Papists.

[memphis]

If Bushie actually had the ambition to take a solo backpacking trip across Europe, he wouldn't need to do it because he wouldn't be Bushie and there would be no problem.  It's the same as the ideas that Bushie should start experimenting with drugs or join an recreational adult sports team.

Bushie is a man with ambitions of one day living in Jacksonville, Florida. Any attempt to get him to embrace life is barking up the wrong tree.

That's sort of the paradox of Update, isn't it? This is a guy who spends his free time napping, watching the most boring/pointless football/baseball games (that he himself likely has no emotional investment in either), eating the most boring food, and going to church, yet here we are, glued to his life story for the past five and a half years.

Which only goes to show what a phenomenal story teller he is. Writing is his talent in life. Of that, I have no doubt.

[memphis]

Update reminds me of Battlestar Galactica. "All this has happened before, and all this will happen again."

Have requirements for partial or full disability been looked into, out of curiosity?

And it's not hard to get an appt. with a physician. You don't have to try to do that. You just get one, unless you want in now, in which case they probably won't have any slots open.

Disability has been discussed in previous seasons, with most Atlasians displaying a very naive view of America's social safety net. Suffice it to say, Bushie's problems are not really severe enough to warrant disability (which would not pay a whole lot anyway).

And remember that Bushie has to get an appointment with the local medicine man due to his free Indian health care. It's not just a matter of going to the nearest doctor's office.

There's no chance in hell he would qualify for medical disabilty. Psychiatric may be another story. Psych disability is widely regarded by just about everybody as much easier to get. We got a taste of that years ago when Snowguy's very ill mother could not get approved while whichever one of Bushie's many ex-fiancées that had the bipolar was pulling in a  (very modest) check. Mental illness is a much harder thing to document. I'm no psychiatrist, and even if I were, of course, I couldn't make my case based solely on the content of the Update. But, just as a layman with some very secondhand observations, I think the psych route is worth trying. There is no doubt he has some sort of mental situation that precludes him from working.  Of course, following through on that would involve seeing a mental health professional, which Bushie has indicated many times he has no interest in doing.

[memphis]

I just got a cupholder/recliner couch a few months ago. Not big like the pic. Just two super comfy seats with a console in between. I love it! Way more comfortable than the old, low three seater, where you'd never want to use all three seats due to lack of personal space.

[memphis]

bushie majored in e-commerce, still refuses to do simple tasks online.

That's a really good point. Crazy! Maybe he's aware of some especially frightening internet security issues the rest of us don't know about. Or maybe he's just being Bushie. Sigh...

[memphis]

Perhaps this was addressed in an earlier update but Mr. Brown, what type of car do you drive?

He has an 06 Sentra. A couple of days before his most recent firing, he indicated that he would like to buy a new car.

[memphis]

I just changed my address online and forked over the $1.05 verification fee.

"Forked over"... Lol.  Do you feel jipped? 

EDIT: Are you going to do some Bushie-patented little old lady errands anyway?  Can I recommend a trip to the bank to spat with the teller over nothing?  Or maybe the post office for stamps?

Nah, it's only $1.05, it's nothing.  I can't think of any errands I need to run until I go to Walmart in Tulsa on Saturday.

Good.  No need to splurge on busy work just because gas is cheap.  Do you have Target in Oklahoma?  They are a good bit less destructive than Wall Mart.

Eh, I actually prefer Walmart to Target.

Ugh!  Why!?

According their websites, there is a Wally World in his hometown of Choctaw, but no Target. Here in East Memphis, there are two Targets, but no WalMart. I suspect proximity is a concern. I certainly wouldn't drive super to go big box shopping. Also worth pointing out, there was no Thunder game today. He spent all day watching games of teams he doesn't even care about. Just like with college football a couple of months ago.

[memphis]

I just changed my address online and forked over the $1.05 verification fee.

"Forked over"... Lol.  Do you feel jipped? 

EDIT: Are you going to do some Bushie-patented little old lady errands anyway?  Can I recommend a trip to the bank to spat with the teller over nothing?  Or maybe the post office for stamps?

Nah, it's only $1.05, it's nothing.  I can't think of any errands I need to run until I go to Walmart in Tulsa on Saturday.

Good.  No need to splurge on busy work just because gas is cheap.  Do you have Target in Oklahoma?  They are a good bit less destructive than Wall Mart.

Eh, I actually prefer Walmart to Target.

Ugh!  Why!?

According their websites, there is a Wally World in his hometown of Choctaw, but no Target. Here in East Memphis, there are two Targets, but no WalMart. I suspect proximity is a concern. I certainly wouldn't drive super to go big box shopping. Also worth pointing out, there was no Thunder game today. He spent all day watching games of teams he doesn't even care about. Just like with college football a couple of months ago.

There is a Target in Midwest City, only 12 miles from my parents'.

I don't think I could live anywhere 12 miles from a Target. That's super far just to do my routine household shopping

[memphis]

Do you guys do a lot of your shopping on Amazon? They were talking on the radio about how Amazon is trying very hard to expand aggressively in remote places because it's so much more convenient for the people who live there.

[memphis]

Oklahoma still doesn't make Amazon include sales tax. Seize the day, Bushie. That will not last forever.

[memphis]

I wonder what percent of the Personal Assistant market Amazon controls. I suspect it's fairly high, and perhaps even complete domination in more rural areas. A more mundane item (socks, for example) can be purchased just about anywhere and with a minimum of embarrassment. Personal Assistants, even presuming one knows where to find one in a traditional store (I would have no idea in my medium sized city) are obviously much more suited to the anonymity of cyberspace.

[memphis]

Wasn't 'e-commerce' Bushie's college major once upon a time?

Yes, it was, but like King said, it was 10-14 years ago.  E-Commerce is hard to get a job in, so I haven't really kept up with it, to be honest.  This is also why I had to switch to CAD, so I can actually find places to work.

What I'm wondering isn't why you don't have a job in it, but why you're apparently stymied by buying stuff on Amazon.

I'm not really stymied by it, I just prefer brick-and-mortar shopping.  To me, the internet cannot replace face-to-face interaction with a sales clerk or a cashier.  It may be more convenient to buy online, but I am concerned with people's jobs, so I don't want to indulge in things that replace people's jobs if I can get away with it.  This is also why I don't like to use the self-checkout at Walmart.

Plus, as everybody here already knows, I am old fashioned, I prefer face-to-face interactions.  That's the way it should be, IMO.

If you were shopping at Bob's Corner Grocery and Linda's Neighborhood Hardware and Bob and Linda were both longtime friends, church members, or even just longtime people you bought stuff from, I could totally see where you're coming from. But you shop mostly at Wal-Mart and other enormous big boxes. What sort of face to face interaction do you get from the big box? You park your car, walk in, grab a shopping cart, navigate the aisles, and checkout. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume WalMart employees are slightly friendlier than they are here. Maybe they'll say "How are you, today? Did you find everything you need?" And you'll say "Doing great, I found everything just fine." And after bagging everything, the cashier may say "Have a nice day" And that's it! There's no sincere interaction. Just two people awkwardly navigating a deeply ingrained script. And you're concerned about a checker at Wal-Mart making $7.25/hr? Are you aware that when you buy things from Amazon, there are warehouse workers who must fulfill your order? And deliverymen who must come to your home? Did you think your purchases fell from the sky?
Why don't you try being honest and just say, this is the way I've always done things. I'm uncomfortable with change. That, at least, wouldn't insult our collective intelligence.

[memphis]

memphis, cut the sh**t, please.  Bushies needs to start working at Wal Mart, TODAY!!!  Lot's of money just passing him by here.

You'll get no argument from me on that point, Grumps. Bushie needs to get to work immediately! Even if he does want to hold on to the CADD fantasy, he needs something in the meantime. Something he can keep longer than a few months if he needs to.
At the pizza place I referenced several times in the past, we have an employee with Down's Syndrome who comes in for a few hours each day and fold boxes. I recently saw on the Facialbook that he just celebrated 13 years with the store. This is guy with enormous challenges in his life, but he found a job that suits his abilities, and his employer is happy to have him on the payroll. So what's Bushie's problem? He's not realistic about his circumstances, and doesn't seem to know himself well enough to know what sorts of job would be a realistic fit for him.

[memphis]

Memphis, the people of Oklahoma are mostly very friendly and very cordial.  It's one of the things I love about my state.  And, yes, I do care about workers who are only making minimum wage.  They have to provide for their families somehow.

I have no doubt that people in Oklahoma are friendly. However, I also know something about how Big Box stores operate. I shop at them frequently as well. The scale and model of the operation virtually guarantees that you will not receive much service and that you will not know the employees well enough to have any serious relationship beyond  "And how are you today?" Those points are completely fundamental to their operations. If you really wanted personalized service and an more traditional customer/worker relationship, Wal-Mart is the very last place on the planet where you would do your shopping. You may as well claim you go to Braum's because their food is so healthy. It's preposterous!