Update XX: A Darn Good Judge of My Financial Situation

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

Sleepover in the Train Room?

Of course, a mere sleeping bag would wreak havoc on Jeff's back. No doubt the Family Brown is making a trip to Wal-Mart to spend some money on an air mattress and electric air compressor.

Someone of Jeff's weight would destroy a fully inflated air mattress. Even me, at a normal weight, find myself waking up in a half-deflated mess with severe muscle aches every time I try sleeping on an air mattress.

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

Tuesday, I need to run by the post office and fill out a change of address form.

No you don't.

I know I can do it online, but I don't like wasting a dollar just to verify my address.  I don't know why I don't like spending that dollar when I have no problem spending money most anywhere else, but I guess it's a strange quirk.

I guess it's not the dollar that I mind, it's just having to get up, get the credit card out of my wallet, inputting the information into the appropriate fields, then putting the credit card back up.  It's still totally illogical because the other alternative is getting up, putting my shoes on, grabbing the keys, getting in the car, driving to the post office, going inside, filling out a change of address form, getting back in the car, driving back home, etc.

Plus, waiting until Tuesday means you don't have to do anything right now. And if there's one thing I've learned by reading update, it's that you love to talk about taking action way more than you like taking action.

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

Jeff, show an ounce of sanity and do your change of address form online. I would guess that you've been "up" at some point today, so the burden of getting up to get your wallet is a moot point. You'll pay more in time and fuel costs by going to the post office to fill out a paper form than you will the the $1.00 confirmation charge.

I know you wanted to make your week sound "busy," but aside from cleaning a house, you don't have much going on. Work smarter, not harder -- fill out the form online and use that valuable time on Tuesday to build a LinkedIn profile, continue the job search or reach out to some professional connections.

I'll do it online.  I don't know if I'll do it today or tomorrow or Tuesday, but I'll do it online.

I've already got a LinkedIn profile, but honestly, I do not know how it works, so I never look at it.

What are you doing right now that is so G*d damn important that you can't take five minutes to change your address at the link I basically spoon-fed to you?

Chill... I'll get to it soon.  I've got all week.

With that kind of positive, can-do, proactive attitude, I can't possibly fathom why you're chronically unemployed!

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

Amazon has only been around for 20 years and Bushie's a very busy guy.

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

My curiosity got the best of me, so I just did a search on Amazon to see if there really are any lifelike brief-relaxation-minded dolls for sale there. I can confirm: There's a surprisingly large number of fake ladies, and they're especially creepy and expensive. Most in stock and ready to ship!

My Amazon recommendations are going to be really off for a very long time.

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

This will sound like a broken record and probably will not be believed, which I can't blame, but I am going to try to eat better and start cooking for myself when I get up to Tulsa this weekend.  I'm going to start with the dishes I know, such as scrambled eggs, macaroni and cheese (stove top kind), and spaghetti and then branch out into other dishes as time goes on.  I'm not going to set any kind of elaborate goal just yet, I want to get started first before I set my sights on loftier goals.

NONE OF WHAT YOU SAID IS HEALTHY! YOU EPITOMIZE ALMOST EVERYTHING THAT IS WRONG WITH AMERICA!!! How can you be so ignorant about your health? Macaroni and Cheese is a combo of fat and carbs, you need to eat 3 Veggies (cheese isn't a veggie) and a protein and exercise and stop making excuses!!! omg!!!

Come on, now! Let's focus on the positive!

The scrambled eggs part is actually a great choice. If you really want to go crazy and cook yourself a full breakfast, find a lean breakfast ham, lean sausage or turkey bacon to add to the skillet. (Look for the word lean!) It's super easy to cook together with eggs -- you literally just add a slice of meat to the same pan you're making the eggs in. The added protein will keep you fuller, longer. And the small amount of fat that melts off the meat will mix into the eggs, making them tastier.

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

Bushie could do a lot worse than eating 5 eggs.

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

In case anyone's interested, for Family Dinner #2 tonight, we are having roasted chicken straight from the Sam's club or Walmart Deli!

Mmm... the "Walmart Deli". You can't go wrong there!

Actually, we had a change of plans, or rather clarification.  We ordered fried chicken from a local mom and pop eatery (imagine that!) called Jim's Fried Chicken.  They have been in business in Nicoma Park, OK for decades, but recently rebuilt and modernized their restaurant to include tables inside.  It used to be just for take out and, I think, catering, but now patrons can dine there if they so choose.  We chose the take out route, but that has quickly become our favorite fried chicken place.  It far surpasses the likes of KFC and even Popeye's.

A last-minute switch from healthy roasted chicken to unhealthy fried chicken. That's our Bushie!

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

Good Friday Morning!  I slept well last night and I am ready for the big move day!  The way things are going, I should be able to be out of here by 0900 or shortly thereafter.  I've got a pretty good size headache this morning, so I will be taking some medicine in a few minutes, but that shouldn't hold me back from getting done what I need to today.  My hope is to be in Tulsa by 1100 or so.  I am going to do a little job search before I leave, though.

You probably have a tumor from all the unhealthy toxins that get pumped into Wallmart food.

Don't be silly, he ate at a mom and pop store that one time. Don't you read?

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

LMFAO at actually printing out those bill confirmations.

Bushie, do you also read the full Terms and Conditions before downloading any program onto your computer?

He also bought $30 software that promised to "speed up his PC" that actually just sets your available memory to the maximum setting and empties your cookies every so often.

So he paid $30 for a worse version of CCleaner?

No, I did not.  He's lying.

$29.95?

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

You'd think somebody has to drive 30 miles each way to do anything would appreciate low gas prices. But, I guess as far as Bushie is concerned, it's $0/gallon no matter what.

I would prefer $3.00 a gallon.  The low, low prices are killing oil field jobs in Oklahoma.  I have several friends who work in the oil field and they have reported massive layoffs due to the low oil prices.  Oil should be around $80 a barrel as a general rule according to some of my oil field worker friends.

Why should all of us in non-oil field jobs pay an extra $1.25 a gallon — a good $15 or $20 per week — to subsidize your couple of friends who work in the oil industry? Far more Americans benefit from lower oil prices than higher ones. Businesses too.

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

Bushie! Some of the most loyal Update readers are gay! Why do you hurt your "fans" so

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

I fully understand that and I'm not living in some fantasy land in regards to that.  It's something I have to work with.  It doesn't stop me from believing in myself and my abilities.  It doesn't stop me from selling myself as best I can.  It's up to employers to judge if I'd be a good fit for their company.  I cannot control their final decision.  All I can do is present myself in the best way possible.

Actually, yes, your weight does stop you from selling yourself as best you can. Many employers will look at your physical form and think, "man, if this guy's body is such a mess, can his work product be any better?" Or, possibly, "if this man doesn't care about his own health, why would he care about the health of my business?" The simple fact is that fat people are routinely and significantly discriminated against in this country by those who are not fat.

"Presenting yourself in the best way possible" means getting your life together and losing some weight.

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

Maybe a bit of good news here, although it's not enough to warrant kudos or 'atta boys', or the like, but I went to get Braum's for supper, but the burger tasted terrible to me, so I had to throw out half the burger.  I still consumed all the fries and coke, but I threw half the burger in the trash.

So basically, you threw out the "healthiest" part of your incredibly unhealthy meal. Congrats.

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

I am leaning toward renewing my lease for at least another six months.  I have every intention to do just that unless I were to get a job in Oklahoma City before March 31.  I have until that date to make my official decision to either renew or vacate.  The new lease would start June 1.

This point got lost amid all the theological debates. Unbelievable.

That's not really news -- most of us loyal Update readers knew Bushie would be renewing the moment he mentioned it as a possibility. I mean, it's such a horrible idea that the sheer fact that Bushie mentioned he was considering it was a clear indication that he'd already decided.

The real new revelation getting lost here is that Bushie is now pushing 450 pounds. At this point, he will have four different kinds of diabetes by his next checkup.

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

I, for one, am excited about my cheat day for the Super Bowl. I'll probably eat an entire pizza on my own.

I'm not sure I can do that much, but probably half is a good bet.  If I were smart, I'd limit it at half.  We all know how smart I am... 

What do you like on your pizza? You've never eaten a whole one before? In college, we used to get the 7.99 dominos specials on Tuesday and sometimes I'd eat all of it, although that was 4 years ago.

Anyway, after a month of not having carbs at all, as good as I feel, I don't think I can watch the Super Bowl without pizza and beer.

I'm a straight pepperoni guy.  I've eaten a whole one before, but lately the farthest I get is 6-7 slices.  Depending on how I feel, I can do anywhere between 4-7 slices in one sitting.

I'll probably order a 2-liter of Pepsi while I eat the pizza.

Then, it's time to atone for my sins on Monday, first off at the altar of the dentist chair...

6-7 pepperoni slices?   Does it bother you at all that you are probably looking at a heart attack within 2 years?

So you're a doctor now?  When did you finish medical school?  Where do you work?

Seven slices of Domino's pepperoni pizza: 2,100 calories; 38.5g saturated fat (196% daily recommended)
2 liter bottle of Pepsi: 917 calories; 250g sugar

Total: 3,017 calories in a single meal.

If you do not change how you eat you are going to die.

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

I'm not going to consume an entire 2 liter.  I can't do that in one sitting.  The best I can do is about a third.  Plus, it's the Super Bowl.  I'm not going to diet on Super Bowl Sunday.

So you're only eating 2,500 calories in a single sitting. The rest of the Pepsi (that you'll drink later anyway) surely doesn't count!

You don't diet ever so don't even try to pretend the Super Bowl has to do with anything. Your shi77y excuses are ruining your life.

If you do not change how you eat you are going to die.

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

I'm not going to consume an entire 2 liter.  I can't do that in one sitting.  The best I can do is about a third.  Plus, it's the Super Bowl.  I'm not going to diet on Super Bowl Sunday.

So you're only eating 2,500 calories in a single sitting. The rest of the Pepsi (that you'll drink later anyway) surely doesn't count!

You don't diet ever so don't even try to pretend the Super Bowl has to do with anything. Your shi77y excuses are ruining your life.

If you do not change how you eat you are going to die.

I will get on it on Monday.  This weekend's meals are already figured out.  I will probably scramble a couple eggs Monday night as my mouth will likely be sore from the dentist.  I'm thinking about spaghetti for Tuesday.  It may not be real healthy, but it's still better than a hamburger.

When you say probably it means you definitely won't.

If you do not change how you eat you are going to die.

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

I just took a Bushiesque 3 hour nap. Refreshing.

No waaaaaaay!  I just ate a Bushiesque dinner.  5 chicken strips.  Three in bowl smothered in mashed taters and BBQ sauce.  Two on a roll with buffalo sauce, pepper jack cheese, bacon, roasted red peppers, baby spinach, and oil.  Washed that down with a tall glass of Sprite. 

Yummy as balls!

That's nothing like a Bushie dinner. He'd never eat pepper jack cheese, roasted red peppers and baby spinach. Nope, best to stay safe with nothing but fried carbs and sugar. And Sprite? That's a clear soda.

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

It's sad and weird that so many Update readers actually know and understand Jeff way better than Jeff could ever hope to understand himself. I mean, I know what Jeff means when he says "I'll try to" or "Maybe" or puts something off for no good reason. I think we all do.

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

So I won't be a believer until I see results, and by results I mean concrete ones, not you trying to drive slowly to cheat a walking app or having cheat meals every few days because weekends aren't for dieting.

Or taking a 5-pound dump and then heralding it as weight-loss success.

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

I just walked down to the apartment laundry facility which is 1/4 mile from my door, put my clothes in the dryer, then walked back.  This is 1/2 mile in about 9-10 minutes.  I'll do another half mile in a couple or three hours.

Again, it's not a big walk, but it's definitely a good start and I don't think anyone would discount that.

I'm pretty sure you're fudging the numbers but congratulations anyway

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

Guys, you have to crawl before you can walk. Go too much too fast and his joints could take hit and blisters etc. I did mix of walking and recumbent exercise bike. Strap on an 80lb backpack and many of you would not make it very far either.
At his weight, he could also skip a meal without that much ill effect. There are slightly different rules than normal dieters when you get up to certain levels of girth.

Walking isn't easy when you're 300 pounds, that's for sure.

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

Sad.