Atlas Ministry of Purity Crimes Self-Reporting Thread
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  Atlas Ministry of Purity Crimes Self-Reporting Thread
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Author Topic: Atlas Ministry of Purity Crimes Self-Reporting Thread  (Read 17686 times)
King
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« on: January 21, 2015, 03:39:18 PM »

Confess to all crimes committed here.

I had an impure sexual thought about a new coworker who said she liked my shirt in the elevator today. I'll leave it up to the mods to decide how many infraction points is fair for this transgression.
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Grumpier Than Uncle Joe
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« Reply #1 on: January 21, 2015, 03:44:27 PM »

The Prude Crew who can't live with something on their conscious even as simple (yet major) as King's transgression should flood this ministry.  I'm guessing 2000 posts within a week.
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memphis
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« Reply #2 on: January 21, 2015, 04:01:39 PM »

King is an oppressor who hates all women! Better get the pitchforks ready...
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King
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« Reply #3 on: January 21, 2015, 04:04:27 PM »

#2. I accidentally spent 11 years with a username that wasn't gender neutral.
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DemPGH
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« Reply #4 on: January 21, 2015, 04:22:55 PM »

Sounds predatory!!
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Nathan
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« Reply #5 on: January 21, 2015, 06:02:14 PM »

Is this supposed to count as 'humor'?
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They put it to a vote and they just kept lying
20RP12
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« Reply #6 on: January 21, 2015, 06:11:35 PM »

Posting on the Atlas Forum is a crime against my purity.
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Lief 🗽
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« Reply #7 on: January 21, 2015, 06:33:48 PM »

RIP King, for posting obscene adult content. 😢
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Lief 🗽
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« Reply #8 on: January 21, 2015, 06:50:34 PM »
« Edited: January 21, 2015, 06:52:49 PM by Lief »

To be fair to the anti-sex forces that now run this forum with an iron fist, I do not believe that heterosexual relations have been outlawed yet (unless of course they take place in Thailand, in which case you are guilty of being a child rapist). So while King will likely incur 40-50 death points for this disgusting display of vulgar and obscene pornography, I don't think he will be banned for it.
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angus
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« Reply #9 on: January 21, 2015, 07:41:29 PM »

I had an impure sexual thought about a new coworker who said she liked my shirt in the elevator today.

Nothing says "Do me!" quite like a shirt compliment.  Did you rub one out when you got home?  Well, that's a silly question.  Of course you did.  What I mean is, was she the subject of your fantasy when you engaged your libido that evening?  If so, then you have purified yourself.  Now go in peace, my son.

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Panda Express
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« Reply #10 on: January 21, 2015, 07:59:41 PM »

I had an impure sexual thought about a new coworker who said she liked my shirt in the elevator today.

Nothing says "Do me!" quite like a shirt compliment. 

Depends on the context and what kind of shirt he was wearing. Was he wearing a shirt like this?



If so, she probably said "nice shirt" with a snicker which would not bode well for Monarch's prospects.


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Lief 🗽
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« Reply #11 on: January 21, 2015, 08:13:21 PM »
« Edited: January 21, 2015, 08:17:23 PM by Lief »


12 death points: vulgarity, profanity

 
28 death points: obscenity

was she the subject of your fantasy

40 death points: vulgarity, misogynistic hate speech, threatening language


16 death points: sexually oriented

RIP angus Cry
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Grumpier Than Uncle Joe
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« Reply #12 on: January 21, 2015, 08:36:22 PM »

I'm going to miss my good friend, angus.  (I know 35 points for missing him). Cry
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Ban my account ffs!
snowguy716
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« Reply #13 on: January 21, 2015, 08:37:45 PM »

I find it funny.
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Lief 🗽
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« Reply #14 on: January 21, 2015, 08:38:14 PM »

I'm going to miss my good friend, angus.  (I know 35 points for missing him). Cry

Yes, 35 death points for "homoerotic adult material." I'm so sorry, old friend. Sad
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The Dowager Mod
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« Reply #15 on: January 21, 2015, 08:38:50 PM »

Angus you are fined five credits for repeated violations of the verbal morality statute.
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Cory
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« Reply #16 on: January 21, 2015, 09:47:08 PM »


Yes, but of course you wouldn't get it.
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World politics is up Schmitt creek
Nathan
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« Reply #17 on: January 22, 2015, 04:47:19 AM »


It's not that I don't get it.
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Torie
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« Reply #18 on: January 22, 2015, 08:20:42 AM »
« Edited: January 22, 2015, 08:22:48 AM by Torie »

To be fair to the anti-sex forces that now run this forum with an iron fist, I do not believe that heterosexual relations have been outlawed yet (unless of course they take place in Thailand, in which case you are guilty of being a child rapist). So while King will likely incur 40-50 death points for this disgusting display of vulgar and obscene pornography, I don't think he will be banned for it.

You sir have taken the art of hyperbole to a whole new level. You do know that DAVE has written into the text of our rules of use that "hyperbole" is subject to death points?  Good luck to you my friend. You might need it. Tongue

By the way, I've been in Thailand. Putting aside the death points issue, do I need to hire a criminal lawyer?
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Simfan34
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« Reply #19 on: January 22, 2015, 08:22:45 AM »

Confess to all crimes committed here.

I had an impure sexual thought about a new coworker who said she liked my shirt in the elevator today. I'll leave it up to the mods to decide how many infraction points is fair for this transgression.

Indeed. I struggle with such impure thoughts all the time. It is a struggle to not objectify and sexualise persons of the opposite gender, but that is difficult. Usually I just end up avoiding them all together, which makes for a dull life but is at least appropriate. One may want to take an interest in someone, but since I'm sure attractive people know that they are, one's motive would be readily apparent, and embarrassment would ensue. Better to be wholly proper about it.
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Gustaf
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« Reply #20 on: January 22, 2015, 10:51:53 AM »

Satire from people who do not at all understand the people they're satirizing is one of the most painful attempts at humour out there. My eyes hurt.
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Simfan34
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« Reply #21 on: January 22, 2015, 11:25:00 AM »
« Edited: January 22, 2015, 11:29:13 AM by Governor Varavour »

Satire from people who do not at all understand the people they're satirizing is one of the most painful attempts at humour out there. My eyes hurt.

I will confess to more crimes soon:

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shua
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« Reply #22 on: January 22, 2015, 01:15:20 PM »

I forgot to check my white privilege this morning. I ended up having brunch.
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Lief 🗽
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« Reply #23 on: January 22, 2015, 01:39:55 PM »

I forgot to check my white privilege this morning. I ended up having brunch.

Brunch on a Thursday?!

Relevant song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p47fEXGabaY
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Grumpier Than Uncle Joe
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« Reply #24 on: January 22, 2015, 01:50:08 PM »

By the way, I've been in Thailand. Putting aside the death points issue, do I need to hire a criminal lawyer?

According to Gustaf, Gully, and oakvale, yes.
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