Atlas Ministry of Purity Crimes Self-Reporting Thread

[Lief 🗽]

RIP King, for posting obscene adult content. 😢

[Lief 🗽]

To be fair to the anti-sex forces that now run this forum with an iron fist, I do not believe that heterosexual relations have been outlawed yet (unless of course they take place in Thailand, in which case you are guilty of being a child rapist). So while King will likely incur 40-50 death points for this disgusting display of vulgar and obscene pornography, I don't think he will be banned for it.

[Lief 🗽]

"Do me!"

12 death points: vulgarity, profanity

rub one out

 
28 death points: obscenity

was she the subject of your fantasy

40 death points: vulgarity, misogynistic hate speech, threatening language

engaged your libido

16 death points: sexually oriented

RIP angus

[Lief 🗽]

I'm going to miss my good friend, angus.  (I know 35 points for missing him).

Yes, 35 death points for "homoerotic adult material." I'm so sorry, old friend.

[Lief 🗽]

I forgot to check my white privilege this morning. I ended up having brunch.

Brunch on a Thursday?!

Relevant song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p47fEXGabaY

[Lief 🗽]

I started a conversation with my BFF this week

Is the BFF a woman or a man? Either way you're in for a boatload of death points, but the crimes are different depending (misogynistic hate speech/threatening language vs. homoerotic obscenity/adult material). 

[Lief 🗽]

Yes, good point. It looks like Hockeydude is pretty well f[inks]ed now. Maybe he could negotiate a lighter penalty of, say, fifty death points and chemical castration instead of the perma ban that's about to come his way?

[Lief 🗽]

This is in the top 10 of worst Atlas threads.

Well there's a Snowstalker post in it, so it's definitely in the running, yes.

[Lief 🗽]

I don't really understand this thread. Is it supposed to imply that oakvale and his "faction" are SJW's?  

That's not how I interpreted it (I would probably consider myself a "SJW" if that weren't a pejorative). It's making fun of the anti-sex views that seem to run rampant on this forum, and especially the homophobic double standards that result in Libertas being banned because he had the audacity to talk about a gay relationship where the two men *gasp* have sex.

edit: It will also, apparently, be the repository of what I can only assume will be a legendary Simfan post (see below).

[Lief 🗽]

It's pretty terrifying how quickly the regime's toadies descend on anything at all critical of it.

[Lief 🗽]

Why can't people around here just disagree with a banning without dragging their own pet issues into it?

Because bannings on this forum are almost always manifestations of a different group of posters' pet issues.

[Lief 🗽]

What's embarrassing about this thread is that it displays severe ignorance. All of the "jokes" in it are only funny if one is some combination of dumb and sexist. I.e. one thinks, for example, that objecting to sexual harassment means thinking "men can't talk to women". And so on.

I don't want my women talking to people in general

[Lief 🗽]

Oh cool, we're at the stage of a Gustaf argument where he starts attacking people who disagree with him for not understanding the understated genius of his posts.

Also I look forward to reading Simfan's latest treatise later today when I get a chance.

[Lief 🗽]

Simfan, please don't waste your mind on this grad school nonsense. Waste it on something sensible, like law school.

[Lief 🗽]

It seems we have our first purity crimes/comedy goldmine double post! 5 death points for this deleted post.

He regularly flirts with Tr'sawn, a 6'2' African American dancer famous around DC circles. Her extreme height help fuel his "I'm an oompa loompa" themed sex kink.

I curtsey and thank the mods for their generous punishment.

With rumblings from The Atlas subforum that the moderators are compiling The List once again, and now this punishment, it looks like your days are numbered old friend. RIP.

[Lief 🗽]

I hope everything I say about goings-on in "The Cave" turn out to be untrue, my friend Torie. But unfortunately I have been right about this stuff too many times in the past.

[Lief 🗽]

hey sim, if the storm is really bad and you're stuck inside, maybe you can head upstairs, bring over a bottle of a wine, and if you're lucky the three of you ca

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

[Lief 🗽]

You can basically put whatever you want in mulled wine. Obviously start with red wine, pour that in a pot over low (I guess?) heat. Throw in some cloves, some cinammon sticks, some star anise... that's the basic stuff. If you want it a little sweeter put in a bit of money and mix that in. Probably some sort of orange, where orange juice, orange zest, putting in some orange peels or orange slices to simmer with the wine. I might try some freshly grated ginger as well, but I'm a real freshly grated ginger fiend. Maybe some vanilla if you want?

Just DON'T put in apple cider, or else you cross over into wassail territory.

[Lief 🗽]

Nah, as long as you use the whole spices (like not ground up) they hold up fine and don't break down at all.

[Lief 🗽]

I forgive you Simfan, but unfortunately the Regime does not. I would not be surprised if in two to three weeks, when the snow has melted, order is re-established, and the power is put back on, we return to this forum to see that we have all been banned for our impure indiscretions. RIP us all.

[Lief 🗽]

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goddamnit

[Lief 🗽]

BREAKING NEWS: CLASS CANCELED AFTER 3 PM TODAY, ALL DAY TOMORROW

[Lief 🗽]

BREAKING NEWS: CLASS CANCELED AFTER 3 PM TODAY, ALL DAY TOMORROW

Naps, and sports tv await?

yes, if only I could pick up some Braum's (double bacon cheeseburger with fries and an accidental non-diet coke) on my way home!

[Lief 🗽]

BREAKING: ORDER BEGINS TO BREAK DOWN IN UNION SQUARE

[Lief 🗽]

jesus christ cuomo

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