Atlas Ministry of Purity Crimes Self-Reporting Thread

[Simfan34]

Confess to all crimes committed here.

I had an impure sexual thought about a new coworker who said she liked my shirt in the elevator today. I'll leave it up to the mods to decide how many infraction points is fair for this transgression.

Indeed. I struggle with such impure thoughts all the time. It is a struggle to not objectify and sexualise persons of the opposite gender, but that is difficult. Usually I just end up avoiding them all together, which makes for a dull life but is at least appropriate. One may want to take an interest in someone, but since I'm sure attractive people know that they are, one's motive would be readily apparent, and embarrassment would ensue. Better to be wholly proper about it.

[Simfan34]

Satire from people who do not at all understand the people they're satirizing is one of the most painful attempts at humour out there. My eyes hurt.

I will confess to more crimes soon:

[Simfan34]

It seems I will need more time to prepare my dissertation of self-criticism.

While driving my car today, I saw an orange construction sign that said Men Working. I could not help but think of the soul crushing anguish of millions of women who will see such signs and feel that they are unwelcome to do the dangerous, and oh so glamourous work of local road repairs. Although I was not at all involved in the design of the sign, I do feel compelled to turn myself in for having read it, and, therefore, having participated in the oppression.

I've always wondered about those signs. They're very un-PC.

[Simfan34]

You guys should really stop embarrassing yourselves with this.

Soon. I will do it very soon.

[Simfan34]

TEASER

I was reading this article:

http://news.nationalpost.com/2014/12/14/thai-princess-mysteriously-stripped-of-her-title-and-erased-from-family-photos/

And wound up reading this article:

http://news.nationalpost.com/2015/01/22/the-sun-tabloid-runs-page-three-photo-of-topless-model-making-competitors-look-very-silly/

[Simfan34]

I fully support making this the Simfan Update thread.

X Madeleine

X Antonio V

You know what guys? How about we float a pilot later this evening and see how it goes?

[Simfan34]

Did you already take the GRE Simfan? How much did you get?

No, not yet. I was talking about my plans to take it and preparing.

[Simfan34]

Did you already take the GRE Simfan? How much did you get?

No, not yet. I was talking about my plans to take it and preparing.

Well good luck on that! I fear that when I'll know your results it will be another punch in the guts for my ego. I know Foucaulf got an insanely good one (something like 168/170) which made me feel like sh*t, I've no doubt you can do as well.

Well I've taken tips from him so let's hope so. If I can replicate my SAT results everything should be fine.

[Simfan34]

May I ask you how much you got? I don't want to look like a hypercompetitive asshole, but the issue is that I'd like to know if the kind of score that I have can give me a shot at the universities I'd like to attend.

If you want to know, I took it twice, and got a 800 on the verbal (twice!) and 760 on the math (not twice).

My recollection was that the math portion was easier than the SAT and had something like a 10% or more rate of people getting literally every question right, whereas the verbal portion was chock-full of obscure $10 words that even very literate people may have never heard of, and thus a perfect result was basically completely impossible.

And I saw this as someone who isn't really a math person at all.

The disconnect between the treatment of the two halves was striking, to say the least.

Well in the practice problems there were a few words that legitimately stumped me, and the math did seem better than I expected. But these were a few practice problems.

The GRE is sexist

http://www.genderacrossborders.com/2009/11/13/racism-and-sexism-in-standardized-testing/

Well I know what a regatta is, so I must be good. I will actually read that later.

[Simfan34]

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This is silly. Do people even still use sextants? I have never sailed anything larger than a small dinghy, yet I know this (Age of Discovery, anyone?). This isn't about "privilege", it's about knowing things; "underprivileged minority kids" might not have ever learnt this, but when you're taking a grad school exam it's not the direct fault of privilege or the exam that you don't know but someone else does.

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That's how the English language works. Be thankful you don't speak French, Spanish, or... most other languages really, which have far more ingrained male-preference than English. This has nothing to do with the exam.

What is the purpose of this, King?

[Simfan34]

I love this thread.

Meanwhile there is supposed to be a great big snowstorm on Tuesday, as always the Europeans expect a lot of the stuff, about a foot- the NOAA not so much. Either way I expect NORMALLY OPERATING NORMALLY OPERATIONS on campus.

[Simfan34]

I love this thread.

It definitely exceeded expectations big time.

It did, didn't it. But wait, what is this?



These aren't the Euros! What is this?! They- the National Weather Service- are talking about "breaking records". The Euros are actually behind here:



Good God, I ought to grab some mulled wine of my own and see what it is those ladies are laughing about, I'm not going to have too many alternatives by the look of it. That is, of course, if we don't have normal operations. In that case I might lose an arm or something.

[Simfan34]

hey sim, if the storm is really bad and you're stuck inside, maybe you can head upstairs, bring over a bottle of a wine, and if you're lucky the three of you ca

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Wait, I already said-

Good God, I might as well grab some mulled wine of my own and see what it is those ladies are laughing about, I'm not going to have too many alternatives by the look of it...

RIP VARAVOUR

And Lief never even managed to finish his sentence....

[Simfan34]

[Simfan34]

Atlas' favourite university says:



Also will be trading Lief Memorial (RIP) Mulled Wine futures... or not. Anyone have recipes?

[Simfan34]

Loving the way this thread has evolved btw.

Yes. And now we are sharing mulled wine recipes.

[Simfan34]

Great recepies, guys. I just realized that our record is 26 inches, not 36 inches! We're bound to break it! Mother of God, I'm definitely going to need the wine, wish me luck and forgive my subconciously patriarchal and overtly objectifying thoughts here.

[Simfan34]

I forgive you Simfan, but unfortunately the Regime does not. I would not be surprised if in two to three weeks, when the snow has melted, order is re-established, and the power is put back on, we return to this forum to see that we have all been banned for our impure indiscretions. RIP us all.

RIP indeed. I fear it may be sooner:

 

vs:



Divide by three? I'd say "¯\_(ツ)_/¯" but we have "NORMAL OPERATIONS" to worry about here. RIP us all!

[Simfan34]

According to the weather experts, the Euro model is running right now- the other models have said the storm is heading east and may miss us largely. WILL THE EURO HOLD?

Also the upstairs-neighbours are laughing again, and this time clearly moving furniture!

[Simfan34]

RIP EVERYONE! (next week)

[Simfan34]

ALL HEADLINES, ALL SPIN, ALL FONTS, ALL THE TIME
PUBLISHED BY VARAVOUR.

BREAKING NEWS

UNCONFIRMED REPORTS: THE EURO MODEL "HOLDS".... "HUGE HIT" IS "STILL ON" SAY RANDOM PEOPLE ON WEATHER FORUM

UPDATE... MAP RELEASED... 24+ RECORD BREAKING SNOW STILL IN WORKS FOR NYC



UPDATE... ANOTHER MAP RELEASED... 30+

(goodness I feel like such an autist right now. Weather? Really? Weather?!)

[Simfan34]

Also, again with those two, what ever could possibly be so funny? Well guys, I'm calling it a night.

Will normal operations be normal?
Will there actually be mulled wine?
Will we ever figure out what the women upstairs are laughing about?
Will I ever finish this literature review for my professor?
Will I manage to get to my 8:40 class on time?
Will we ever get to see me get anywhere with, erm, you know?

Stay tuned for tomorrow's Atlas Ministry of Purity Crimes- what? Are we actually calling it that?

[Simfan34]

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goddamnit

Haven't gotten an email, but NORMAL OPERATIONS! There will be the normally operating normally expected normal operations for the normal university, as normal, normally on tomorrow during the normal snowstorm where we will have the... normal 24-36 inches of snow?

EDIT: Wait, they didn't even use the words "normal operations" in that!

[Simfan34]

This is troubling news for the AMPC. Fornication rates undoubtedly spike during snow storms!

And I live off campus!

Update coming when I get home.

[Simfan34]

There was a proper line in front of Westside Market, it was orderly though... they've given up with the street lights... still on the search for hot cocoa, found my Lapsang Souchong... wish me luck.