Update XXI: "Scientific Facts Are Not Hard And Fast Rules."

[J-Mann]

Jeff -- I'm glad you were open to some feedback regarding the most recent job. I hope this makes an impression on you: the feedback you receive on the forum is honest, even if that doesn't come wrapped in a nice package.

You should compare that to the kudos you received on Facebook (and I'm OK posting this because it's general in nature and well-known how your Facebook friends respond). I will not question their friendship or whether or not they are good people -- actually, I am sure they are great people. But not a single one was willing to publicly ask you any tough questions about accepting a type of job that you'd failed in many, many times before. None. It was all "praise God" this and "trust Him" that ... vapid, empty responses that failed to look out for you and your best interests.

Their praise is comforting, Jeff, but it's not helpful in the way that you need help. You've got some people here rooting for you that are willing to kick your butt when it needs kicked. As I mentioned to you in my PM -- I think you need to take a hard look at why you keep burning your hand on the stove.

[J-Mann]

What sorts of jobs are you planning on looking for when you get back to OKC?

Other than CAD, I don't really know, yet.  I'll diversify my applications for sure, but I'm not exactly sure, yet.  I imagine I'll put in some retail applications, maybe some grocery store applications.  I don't want to do fast food, because I don't think I could lift the grease pans without spilling grease all over the floor.  Other places, too, I'm sure.

Is that your sole justification for not doing fast food? It's not like lifting grease pans constitutes 78 percent of the job ... and if you can't do it, you can't do it. I'm sure McDonald's doesn't force everyone to "lift the grease pans or take a hike." Plenty of petite women work in fast food.

Not that such a job would be good for your diet ... but I'll tell you one thing: it's accessible short-term income and a respectable-enough job in the meantime.

[J-Mann]

Why won't you at least try the Uber thing, in which you can set your own hours and dress code and quit more easily than any other job?

There's literally no reason not to give Uber a brief try. If you hate it, you've lost nothing and still got a little positive cash flow from it.

^^^

If you're getting desperate for something to do as a job, (and obviously you are if you would even consider a sales job), why won't you at least consider Uber, where you can start right away, set your own hours, your own dress code, and most importantly, can actually do the job?

Remember, if you hate it, it's easier to quit than any other job, so there's no drawback at all. Are you just being obstinate on purpose?

I'm just leery of letting the wrong people into my car.  I'm talking about thugs whose sole intention is to do me harm.  Does Uber screen their clients?  I know that's an outrageous fear, but it's something I think about.  Also, if I did do this, they would have to listen to Christian music for the entire ride.  No exceptions.

Uber users are pretty well-documented. You have to have a profile tied to a credit card, a mobile device and an address. Not that people couldn't use it to do harm ... just like an office is susceptible to an angry worker-turned-gunman. But someone would have to go far out of their way to use it to rob you, since they'd be very traceable.

I don't think your music is an issue, as long as you keep the volume lower, don't sing and don't preach at riders.

[J-Mann]

Legitimate company.

Lower-end job (nothing wrong with that) that's more likely to start at the low end of the wage range they show, so if you get an interview, I wouldn't be expecting the high end right out of the gate.

One of the positions seems geared toward cleaning vehicles on car lots, which may not be too bad ... not sure if you'd go car-to-car or drive cars into a garage to detail them. Physically, I think that would be more manageable than any position that requires you to climb ladders.

I won't discourage you from looking at a position that requires you to do some good, old-fashioned physical labor, but you'll probably want to be open about your health in the interview so the expectation of how much is required is clear.

[J-Mann]

$10 makes sense.

I was just assuming you saw a fast cash $3000/week washing cars ad, as per usual.

Nah, it's nothing like that. Aside from some of the physical concerns, I think a job where Jeff can master a repetitive task and do some manual labor would be refreshing for him ... or, at the very least, something at which he could succeed.

[J-Mann]

Yeah, I noticed that, too, IceSpear.

What sorts of jobs are you planning on looking for when you get back to OKC?

Other than CAD, I don't really know, yet.  I'll diversify my applications for sure, but I'm not exactly sure, yet.  I imagine I'll put in some retail applications, maybe some grocery store applications.  I don't want to do fast food, because I don't think I could lift the grease pans without spilling grease all over the floor.  Other places, too, I'm sure.

Is that your sole justification for not doing fast food? It's not like lifting grease pans constitutes 78 percent of the job ... and if you can't do it, you can't do it. I'm sure McDonald's doesn't force everyone to "lift the grease pans or take a hike." Plenty of petite women work in fast food.

Not that such a job would be good for your diet ... but I'll tell you one thing: it's accessible short-term income and a respectable-enough job in the meantime.

[J-Mann]

He is physically unable to walk for more than 15 minutes at a time, but is applying for a job where he has to wash an endless sea of cars at a dealership? This is going nowhere.

Maybe not. The point is, it's a legitimate position that isn't a call center, a sales job that promises a fast management track, or a scam. He's opening himself up to positions that he looked down on just a few weeks ago. Capability or not, that's some sort of progress.

[J-Mann]

A "legit" taxi company would be a horrible drain for Jeff. The reason most taxi companies fight Uber so hard it because of the absolute racket they're running.

In Kansas City, a cab driver has to pay a $500-per-week leasing fee for his cab; plus, they don't eat what they kill. A big portion of everything they make is going back to the owner, as well. That's why cab drivers have become so irritating about tips ... they're critical for their own survival. On the other hand, I think it's annoying as hell to be expected to tip a cab driver on top of an already-overpriced ride simply because the cab company is running a giant scheme.

Screw cab companies. Uber is the way to go.

[J-Mann]

I am home from the meeting.  He has one, maybe two, positions he is going to submit me for in the IT industry, and he should be able to submit the first one either this afternoon or first thing Monday.  He said they are usually pretty quick about getting back to setting up an interview and then quick making the decision after the interview.

^^
BOGUS JOB

VS

REAL JOB
\/

I also got a rejection e-mail from Macy's, so that one's out.

Why do you immediately dismiss it as an automatic bogus job?

The past XX seasons.

So, everything I get an interview for is a bogus job and everything that rejects me is a real job?

He may be referring to the promised turnaround time, too. The companies that are really career-oriented places don't likely hire at the drop of a hat. On the other hand, I was hired after my first and only interview -- offered the job the same day. On the third hand, my interview lasted 7.5 hours.

[J-Mann]

Yes, brush away the thought of failure: everybody has days like this. Of course, not everybody is a 32-year-old, unemployed, mooching off his parents, morbidly obese man. But yes ... we all have our days.

You've had literally years "like this."

Don't like it? Tough. I told you during the last "season" of this ridiculousness that you deserved no kudos because you couldn't last a week committing to anything. Looks like I was spot on (hmm, maybe 20 "seasons" of history had something to do with my bold prediction).

You are a (barely) walking, talking temporal-causality loop.

[J-Mann]

To be fair he has been eating bacon and tomato sandwiches, so that kind of counts as vegetables.

Tomatoes are fruit.

They are also vegetables.

Technically true, as a 1893 Supreme Court decision declared them to be vegetables.

[J-Mann]

It's been a while since I've posted in here, Jeff, and I didn't respond to your weak defense of yourself from a week ago ... but it's clear you've backslid once again.

 - You started a "diet," only to have continuous cheat days when the fancy strikes you
 - You committed to drinking water daily (novel concept!) and then haven't followed through
 - You committed to walking a measly 20 minutes daily and haven't been able to keep it up
 - You've turned your back on logical job searching in favor of call centers / help desks
 - Your "beliefs" that judge and label others are abhorrent (you've labeled another human being as the anti-Christ, for God's sake!)

Jeff, since you're absolutely insistent on living life as a caricature, here's what I'm going to do:

Have you ever heard of "The Opie and Anthony Show?" Well, it's not Opie and Anthony anymore ... it's Opie and Jim Norton. It's a nationally-syndicated radio show where folks like you -- folks who refuse to make progress, take the simplest of advice, and generally run their own existences into the ground (and pretend everything's rosy) -- can get some air time.

They've made "stars" of Diana Orbani ("Lady Di"), Bobo, Big A and others.

I'm VERY tempted to submit the entire Update saga to Opie and Jim and have you become a new character on their show! The characters only work if their stories are hopeless, cyclical and they never help themselves succeed.

Think of it ... Update may have a national platform! Now, of course, you'd find out what REAL mocking is like ... Opie and Jim are absolutely ruthless in how they brutalize and make fun of their "guests." But you may finally have the spotlight that Update truly deserves! Let's share the frustration with millions nationwide! :-)

[J-Mann]

I'd say he would work a lot better as one of Stern's Wack Pack.  Howard has even hired a bunch of them to work on the show! 

I'd personally take the unscripted and unpaid mockery of O&J vs. a gig that financially encourages his lifestyle ... but, six of one, half-dozen of the other.

I think it's time the world sees this farce.

[J-Mann]

Wow even J-Mann's given up on Bushie now! We may truly be reaching the nadir of Bushie's saga here...

I've had people who worked for me that refused to change. They would pay lip service to advice, seem agreeable, even make some immediate and surface-level progress toward the improvement that both they and I agreed they needed.

But then they backslid. Whether it was following a process that WAS superior to their "plan," or doing the right things that were required for the health of the company, they almost immediately forgot their promise to me and to themselves to improve.

I fired those people. Not immediately ... usually I waited way too long. But I fired them. Because they weren't worth the continued investment.

Jeff isn't worth anyone's continued investment. He is weak. He can't commit. He refuses to do what's best for himself, even if the reward is a better life -- better health, more freedom, etc. His skin could literally be on fire, and he'd have to think hard about someone's advice to stop, drop and roll.

But I can't fire Jeff.

What I can do is magnify his story ... if we're locked into watching an endless, repetitive charade wherein the person in whom you've invested probably dozens (if not hundreds) of hours of heartfelt advice outright REFUSES to change ... well, why not share the charade with the world? I mean, many of us get some sort of pleasure in Update, right? Why limit that pleasure to only a few dozen Atlasians, when the world could be hearing this tale?

[J-Mann]

Wow, J-Mann, you've deserted me because I'm weak?  You are obviously not a true friend because a true friend would NEVER give up on their friends no matter what.  I think it's time to close the Update as nobody seems to care anymore.  I'll go back to talking politics.  You guys continue to insist you are friends, but you are pathetic friends, at best.

You gave up on your diet after like 4 days. You're the pathetic one. Serious question - how can you expect us to believe in you?

^^^^^^^^^^
THIS.

Jeff ... how much have I invested in you (considering I'm some remote, over-the-internet person you've never met)? How much? How much time ... effort ... genuine advice and direction? How does that compare with the "God will provide!?" friends that never give you more substance than an ancient verse?

And how much of it have you EVER followed? HOW MUCH?

You gave up on an EASY diet and some basic lifestyle things after a few days!! And this is endless ... over five years of this. FIVE YEARS of us beating our heads against the wall.

I'll tell you one thing, Jeff ... I care about you a lot more than you seem to care about yourself. Do "friends" get frustrated with each other? Do they lay truth on the line? Do they call each other out?

You're damn right they do.

See if any of your "praise everything" friends call you on the carpet. One thing you can't take away from anyone on this ridiculous Update ... they've never not been there for you, even if it's "just" internet advice.

They've never turned away when you almost gave your f***ing social security and bank account information to a foreign scam organization. They never turned away after failed engagement after failed engagement. They never turned away after you put on 50 pounds over the last five years. But more than that ... THEY NEVER IGNORED YOUR PROBLEMS. Like you do. Like those you think are your "friends" do. Like your family does.

And you have the unmitigated gall to call anyone here "not true."

Open your eyes, Jeff. You're limping along as a non-entity and actually killing yourself. And some people have genuinely cared that you're doing it.

[J-Mann]

Wow, J-Mann, you've deserted me because I'm weak?  You are obviously not a true friend because a true friend would NEVER give up on their friends no matter what.  I think it's time to close the Update as nobody seems to care anymore.  I'll go back to talking politics.  You guys continue to insist you are friends, but you are pathetic friends, at best.

And this, by the way -- you total f***ing jack off -- couldn't have been further from the truth. Go back and read the earliest "seasons" of this utter mockery of life. DO IT. Read them ... and see how supportive people were of you.

What good did it do? You spit in everyone's faces. Even in the last several months, you still get reams of good direction, advice and people wiling to listen to you and help you.

None of it matters.

So you want to talk about who's a terrible person? Look in the mirror at that fun-house reflection ... there's an awful person staring back, a dead-eyed sociopath. THAT person couldn't ever be a "true friend," as he does nothing but cheat, lie, steal time and effort from others around him and shows nothing but the most narcissistic of qualities.

[J-Mann]

I did not abandon the diet.  I had a bad couple of days, yes, but today I've gotten back to my water, walked 25 minutes, and had a bacon and tomato sandwich for supper.  I gained just a bit over the past couple of days, but everybody has bad days on their diets and are not accused of being not committed.

Sorry, Chunk. We have more than the last two weeks' worth of history to guide us, here. You've "cheated" a good 50 percent of this "diet." You are accused of not being committed because you never have been. Ever. Show us otherwise, and the opinion would change.

[J-Mann]

Wow, J-Mann, you've deserted me because I'm weak?  You are obviously not a true friend because a true friend would NEVER give up on their friends no matter what.  I think it's time to close the Update as nobody seems to care anymore.  I'll go back to talking politics.  You guys continue to insist you are friends, but you are pathetic friends, at best.

And this, by the way -- you total f***ing jack off -- couldn't have been further from the truth. Go back and read the earliest "seasons" of this utter mockery of life. DO IT. Read them ... and see how supportive people were of you.

What good did it do? You spit in everyone's faces. Even in the last several months, you still get reams of good direction, advice and people wiling to listen to you and help you.

None of it matters.

So you want to talk about who's a terrible person? Look in the mirror at that fun-house reflection ... there's an awful person starting back, a dead-eyed sociopath. THAT person couldn't ever be a "true friend," as he does nothing but cheat, lie, steal time and effort from others around him and shows nothing but the most narcissistic of qualities.

*looks over shoulder*

This would honestly be a funny response ... if it didn't smack of your total disregard for how you actually act. As is, I'm not surprised that -- after five years of total ignorance and exploiting the genuine belief of others -- that this went right over your head.

[J-Mann]

Losing 8 pounds does not come by slothful eating.  That's how much I've lost.

You were at 288 this morning. So, are you saying your peak was 296? Or are you counting losing pounds that you've since gained back? Or are you lying?

[J-Mann]

Losing 8 pounds does not come by slothful eating.  That's how much I've lost.

You were at 288 this morning. So, are you saying your peak was 296? Or are you counting losing pounds that you've since gained back? Or are you lying?

Yes, I did have a bad couple of days and gained 3 pounds back, so im at a net loss of 5.  That could be considered water weight, so I'll countbit as a wash.  I'm confident though with a little discipline, I can start drifting back down again through the 280's.

THEN THAT'S NOT PROGRESS. Wake up! The weight you likely lost was water weight, because you're f***ing eating once a day rather than taking up a solid and actual diet plan (as has been recommended and documented countless times here). And you put back on weight because you ate like sh[inks] this weekend.

And you come from an excuse culture ... you excuse anything. You excuse not being committed. You excuse failure and claim a need to "make baby steps ... walk before you run ... slow progress."

BS. You've been saying it for years. WHY NOT DO IT!?

[J-Mann]

Losing 8 pounds does not come by slothful eating.  That's how much I've lost.

Show us the scale to prove it. If you dont, than you can't prove anything... and you can't blame us for not  backing you and supporting you. We would support you more, if you proved to us that you were actually doing something

He can't. He already admitted to fudging the numbers on this.

[J-Mann]

J-Mann, what I see in the mirror is a deeply flawed human being, but a human being that is trying.  I don't see a failure.  I see a success story in the making.  I see myself as God's child who is being led by God into great things.  I don't see a tragedy, I see a success.  I don't see an uncaring and unloving moocher.  I see a loving, kind individual who has had made mistakes, but who is trying his very best.  Basically, I am a sinner saved by grace.  Nothing more, but also nothing less.

I'm not going to give you any crap about your faith ... I think elements of it (particularly the parts where you're free to judge and label others but take offense when the same is done to you -- you've labeled a man the anti-Christ, for sh[inks] sake!) are disgusting, but it is what it is. And parts of it can be very encouraging to you personally, I'm sure.

The problem is this: you're blindly comforted by the belief that "God thinks I'm OK!" Then, you trick yourself into believing everything is alright, even when it comes at the expense of yourself or others.

I wouldn't be out of patience if you made progress. But can you tell me ONE area in which you have made progress over the last five years?

ONE!?

I'm trying to think of one, and I can't. You eat just as bad or worse as you ever have, and cannot stick to any semblance of a diet. You don't exercise any more than you ever did. You're 50 pounds heavier. You still require as much (if not more) assistance from others. You still are unemployed. You've failed at call centers and help desks, but are bent on returning to one for work. You know you're unhealthy, but excuse constant cheat meals and forgoing exercise. You say you want to get out from Mom and Dad's pocketbook, but you haven't made the slightest cutback in your own personal comforts to ease the burden on them.

CAN YOU NAME ONE AREA IN WHICH YOU'VE MADE PROGRESS?

It's one thing to look in the mirror and pay lip service to the flawed individual looking back at you. It's another to actually take actions to change it. It's the latter you're unwilling -- and I think unable -- to do.

[J-Mann]

J-Mann, what I see in the mirror is a deeply flawed human being, but a human being that is trying.  I don't see a failure.  I see a success story in the making.  I see myself as God's child who is being led by God into great things.  I don't see a tragedy, I see a success.  I don't see an uncaring and unloving moocher.  I see a loving, kind individual who has had made mistakes, but who is trying his very best.  Basically, I am a sinner saved by grace.  Nothing more, but also nothing less.

Also, this.

Are you really trying your best? Can you say that with a straight face? Can you say that and truly believe it, or claim that it's not -- at best -- an obfuscation of the truth?

You claim to be capable of great things ... and maybe you are. I wouldn't have spent so much of my own time encouraging you if I didn't believe the same.

BUT WHEN HAVE YOU EVER ACTUALLY BEEN ABLE TO SAY THAT YOU GAVE SOMETHING YOUR ABSOLUTE, 100 PERCENT ALL-OUT EFFORT? Answer that. I'm interested to know your thoughts.

When? Was the 290 pounds down to 282 pounds up to 288 pounds representative of your best effort? Were your clock-watching CADD days representative of your best effort? I don't think you know what you're capable of because you've never truly tried.

[J-Mann]

J-Mann, what I see in the mirror is a deeply flawed human being, but a human being that is trying.  I don't see a failure.  I see a success story in the making.  I see myself as God's child who is being led by God into great things.  I don't see a tragedy, I see a success.  I don't see an uncaring and unloving moocher.  I see a loving, kind individual who has had made mistakes, but who is trying his very best.  Basically, I am a sinner saved by grace.  Nothing more, but also nothing less.

Also, this.

Are you really trying your best? Can you say that with a straight face? Can you say that and truly believe it, or claim that it's not -- at best -- an obfuscation of the truth?

You claim to be capable of great things ... and maybe you are. I wouldn't have spent so much of my own time encouraging you if I didn't believe the same.

BUT WHEN HAVE YOU EVER ACTUALLY BEEN ABLE TO SAY THAT YOU GAVE SOMETHING YOUR ABSOLUTE, 100 PERCENT ALL-OUT EFFORT? Answer that. I'm interested to know your thoughts.

When? Was the 290 pounds down to 282 pounds up to 288 pounds representative of your best effort? Were your clock-watching CADD days representative of your best effort? I don't think you know what you're capable of because you've never truly tried.

There is a lot more I could be doing, but I have no reason not to be proud.  I can stand tall because I am giving all out effort.  I am investing in the lives of others telling them what my God has done for me.  I m not where I want to be by a long shot, but I am working every day to get there.  Some days are better than others and I do have set backs, but I am working to achieve what I know I should.  My parents see the effort I'm putting in.  They see im not just wasting my time or their time.  God is doing a good work in me and with His help, I am on my way to being all who He has called me to be, living up to my full potential.  I am a man with a purpose.  I am a man on a mission.  It may be hard for some people to see, but I'm getting better every day.

How are you getting better? Explain. Those of us who have spent a great deal of our time trying to encourage you ... we aren't seeing it. It would be nice to know what the return is going to be. Leave the trite platitudes behind ... where is your execution? What have you done?

And again, look at the bold text. CAN YOU SAY THIS TRUTHFULLY? And if not ... what are you doing to be able to say it?

Jeff -- what do you think of the man who has the ability to push a pedestrian out of the way of a speeding car, and who knows that's the right thing to do in a dangerous situation, but stands by and does nothing because he knows he ultimately won't be held responsible for that person's death?

[J-Mann]

Wait ... "washed clean" actually means you need to reject your sin? No, this can't be right ... The Church of Bushiology has told me that phrase is simply a "get out of jail free" card; a pass to continue sinning. A cheat. A Game Genie for salvation, so to speak.