Update XXI: "Scientific Facts Are Not Hard And Fast Rules."

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I'm happy he finally listened to the forum for once. Were we ever shown the ad he found?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Can anyone think of another series that had a season comparable to last? It dragged a lot through most of the season and was full of filler episodes and recycled plotlines...but had one hell of a conclusion.

Utah story arc/season(s) of Update itself are comparable.

Yes. 85% of that season focused on Bushie walking in place in his apartment, eating green beans from a can and learning to drive in snow, but the final few days were a blast with the hobo orgie ravaging Bushie's garage and the eventual return to Oklahoma in order to drive by every day to see if the windows weren't covered in cum.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

He might think he looks thinner with it. A lot of fats do that because clean shaven faces look fatter. I'm sure people in his social think it looks good.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Why would you extend your lease in Tulsa? It just seems like common sense that you'd cancel it.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

It does! I wonder if he'll finally put his foot down to all this nonsense. At least he seems to realize how silly it is for Bushie to have an apartment with a deluxe cable package he uses once a month in Tulsa while not having a job and rarely being there.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Why would you extend your lease in Tulsa? It just seems like common sense that you'd cancel it.

If I get a CAD job or a good job then I will extend it so I have a place to live.  If I don't have a job or if I have a retail or call center job then I will let it expire on May 31 and move out.

I guess that makes sense, but what if it is a temp CADD job? Will you still extend the lease knowing you'll be done working in X number of months?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Can a help desk be a career?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Lol. Did anyone expect his diet to go any different than this? His palllate is conditioned to only like burgers, and he won't change. Just humor him and let him keep telling stories.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Cut out the bread and watch the weight fall off!

And I didn't think cheese really expired like that unless it was moldy. It might not be the cheese causing your latest stomach trouble.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Cut out the bread and watch the weight fall off!

And I didn't think cheese really expired like that unless it was moldy. It might not be the cheese causing your latest stomach trouble.

I think the worst part is using "cheese" singles as the cheese with crackers. What kind of heathen are you?!

Yes, he doesn't know how to properly eat or properly enjoy good food, but that's the least of his worries I'd say.

Bushie's diet consists of comparing bacon cheeseburgers from every chain restaurant in America.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

What was your peak?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Knowing Bushie's favorite foods, I think there is only one solution that would work for him..........

STOP EATING BREAD.

Others have said it, but it bears repeating.

Yep. There is no evidence that a low fat, high carb diet causes you to lose weight, but plenty of evidence that a low carb, high fat diet can cause you to lose weight. The grain industry just happens to have a lot of lobbyists, so the government doesn't tell you that. Instead, they include pizza as a "vegetable" on school cafeteria menus.

Bushie  could eat all the burgers, hotdogs, cheese, and fat he wants. If he stops eating pasta, bread, rice, and other processed sugars, he will[/i] lose weight, and fast.

As of now, he won't lose much just not eating fries with his bacon cheeseburgers and only having two hotdogs instead of four. He may drop down to 270 merely because he's eating less calories than usual, but he'll never be healthier doing that.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

You can get burgers wrapped in lettuce anywhere. I did that at five guys the other day to celebrate red meat before I give it up for the Greek Jesus during lent.

Hot dogs are fine with some sour kraut and mustard. Mexican is tough. The place near my house has good salads. I usually get them without corn or beans. And no pizza for me. I had some during the super bowl, but otherwise, no pizza. Bushie would do so much better if he followed this advice, but I know better. I'm just running my mouth for my own enjoyment.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I am going to use one of my eat out meals tonight and indulge in a little Braum's.

Lol. And this is why the diet talk is just a waste.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Oh, I don't think anyone here expects him to embrace any change in lifestyle at all. I know I dont! Even switching to whole wheat bread is something he's unwilling to do. I know he won't give up bread entirely.

You can't diet and have a cheat meal every 4 days (or everyday, since I don't consider burgers without fries part of a diet unless he had the burger wrapped in lettuce).

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

when does bushie give up and stop pretending to care about things like health, diet, employment etc?  when does he take up residence in the brown family mobile home forever?

I think he already has. He's rightfully ignoring any post about a diet. Let's just drop it now. We know its not going anywhere. Whenever he says "I'm going to get serious about my health" again, we should ignore it too.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

This episode is one of the best yet this season!

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I love when God shows off. I remember the AFC/NFC championships and the Super Bowl of this year being some of the Lord's best work yet. I was so afraid watching those games unfold, much like watching my fantasy team play this year.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I love when God shows off. I remember the AFC/NFC championships and the Super Bowl of this year being some of the Lord's best work yet. I was so afraid watching those games unfold, much like watching my fantasy team play this year.

Yeah but he let Duke beat UNC, so he's not always showing off in a good way. 

I already knew how that game would end. God would let UNC fall behind, allow them to come back and take the lead late, and then collapse in the final minutes and lose. Sometimes I hate when God does just as she says she'll do.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

You're new here and that's okay. However, you should know that a few years ago Bushie would tell us he was losing weight each day and got down to like 245lbs only to reveal he had been lying about it for months.

So while he may have hit 284 I always take his weigh ins with a grain of salt.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Yeah I think he's over the 300 mark too. It's just tough to believe his official weigh ins because of how he's lied in the past. But we know he's not really dieting because he's having cheat days every other day.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Let's not forget he's gained over 25 pounds since he went through his last dieting phase.

Look, it's hard to not give up on you when you just ignore us or laugh at us when we give advice. Good friends don't do that to their good friends either. After all these years of claiming you want to diet, you've gained 25 pounds.

Why should we think this time will be any different? Especially given that you're taking cheat days every other day. And water is great but you need to realize you aren't going to lose weight by drinking water and continuing to eat empty carb calories.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

It's impossible to help him because he subscribes to a type of Christianity where the bible doesn't matter as long as you believe in God. The text of the Bible really doesn't matter to bushie in the end because he says he knows he's saved, so why bother following the commandments God has in the Bible.

We can keep helping but we know he doesn't listen or care.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Yes, I don't know why we keep harping on him anymore. He isn't going to diet. He doesn't want to. I just don't know why he won't tell us that so everyone here will stop giving him a hard time. Just let him be fat.

This is a guy who feels no need to take care of himself or follow the principles of God because he holds the get out of jail free card, so nothing we say will get through to him. I just enjoy his stories. That's why I'm an Update fan.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I guess my biggest question is, if you are saved and nothing you do on earth matters because you believe in Christ, you have a spot in heaven, then why have a Bible at all? Why study it? Why try to live by it (this goes for others, not you)? What's the point? If I can just believe in Christ, and truly believe, and do anything I want, then why do I need to know what the Bible does and doesn't want me to do?

Why did God tell us what we should and shouldn't do? Why did he give us the 10 commandments if it all doesn't matter? I, for the life of me, can't understand your line of religion.