Revelations, a True Story of the Future

[Mechaman]

Prologue: The Vatican, in Rome

Outside the Roman Catholic Pope Francis has a nice view of the palatial gates. . . . and his 2013 Ford Focus.
So far so good.  The plot to undermine humanity and destroy the Jews is well at hand.  With the power of the Roman Catholic Church (and our unnamed allies to be revealed in a convenient plot twist in a few seconds) we will be unstoppable!
To be sure it had all gone off to a good start, what with him accepting the backseat of a Ford Focus over the traditional limousine to show how "humble" and "down to earth" (in more ways than one, mind you) to the masses.  Of course, people underestimate just how righteous and kickass a Ford Focus can be, which was more the real reason why he choose the blue fuel efficient four door sedan over the ugly long and gas guzzling Popemobile or whatever the hell it was called.  There is just something about those microfibers in that back seat that just feels so amazing on his lower back and spine in the way a crowded limousine did not.
And also, his master demanded that severe cuts be made to the Rapture budget, thus forcing him to take such an unconventional approach.  Because damn, apparently rapturing the sh*t out of humanity really takes it toll on the budget.  And more to the point at least the Focus was an automatic tranmission while the previous mode of transporation was like an eight speed manual.  Which wouldn't be a big deal (since he didn't drive), but the Pope people always managed to find a total moron who had no idea who to drive in manual that this was just more convenient.
The only thing he disliked about it was that there was an "absolutlely no Black Sabbath" policy in effect for the car.  Which really sucked, how could he go about destroying humanity without the sounds of almighty Beezlebub pounding his eardrums?  Well, at least he has a free fire phone and it came with a set of Bose noise cancelling headphones so he could ignore the Prude Blood Order.
Besides that the people tended to like the things he liked.  His calls for equality and fairness for all the commie intellectuals disguised as poor blacks and hispanics really seemed to be taking off with the lazy masses who also by now accepted that murdering babies was pro-women's freedom and that two men having gay butt sex was somehow moral.
Hell, they were so for it he recently came out against it just to sound like he was a reasonable moral moderate and deflect cries of extremism.  It was almost like the people were doing all the hard work for him.
Man sin is so cool.  Imma gonna break out my joint man.
The Pope breaks out a nice big joint of Argentine pot.  ES MUY BUENO, MANG!
The Pope inhales and then feels the enlightenment.
He hears a knock at the door.
The Pope Man: Come in!
In walks a tall dark Arab Muslm raygun looking man with a serious evil look on his face and a sharp scimitar colored red by the blood of infidels.  The two men look at each other as the Arab dude opens his mouth into a large dopey smile with his rotten gold teeth.
The Pope Man: So, it has begun.
The Arab man laughs loudly before delivering a more than brotherly kiss to the Roman Pope.
ISIS: ISIS IS HERE BABY.

[Atlas Has Shrugged]

I'm so glad you are back.