In general (not just dating), do nice guys finish last?

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

In dating, for straight dudes anyway, it would seem confidence, compatibility, and authenticity are paramount.

In life, no.  Plenty of nice guys are successful, as are plenty of awfuls.  In general, this is a ridiculous thing to try and find a correlation with.

[TNF]

"Nice guys" aren't keeping score.

[Marokai Backbeat]

"Nice guys" aren't keeping score.

[Antonio the Sixth]

Of course not, but being 'nice' shouldn't be confused with being a pushover or not being ambitious or determined.

Sure, but being a bit shy/awkward/humble/unassertive/quiet doesn't make someone a pushover either.

With all those together... I would say it might.

These are traits that generally go together. And at a moderate level, they aren't flaws.

[dead0man]

Are some "winners" nice?  Yes 
Are some "losers" (finishing last) not nice?  Yes

Seems to me "nice guys" don't finish last with any more regularity than anybody else.  People need excuses/reasons for their failures, this phrase is one of them.  If it makes the nice losers feel better about their failures, let 'em have it.

[🦀🎂🦀🎂]

I don't know about 'nice' but moral guys finish first in my book.

[Gustaf]

There is often conflating of terms. Confidence and some assertiveness tend to bring you success in dating and other areas too. But being a bad person generally does not, at least not in good societies.

And the MRA thing is vile.

[Simfan34]

Of course not, but being 'nice' shouldn't be confused with being a pushover or not being ambitious or determined.

Sure, but being a bit shy/awkward/humble/unassertive/quiet doesn't make someone a pushover either.

With all those together... I would say it might.

These are traits that generally go together. And at a moderate level, they aren't flaws.

Well, awkwardness and unassertiveness certainly aren't positive character traits. I'm not sure how shy, awkward unassertiveness doesn't lend itself to being a pushover.

[The Mikado]

Someone who self-proclaims himself nice usually isn't.

[Deus Naturae]

Confidence is the most important thing IMO. Also, most girls like to be teased and messed with. Just based on personal experience, I think most "nice guys" are dudes who are too pussy/not socially skilled enough to engage in that kind of flirting and so to protect their egos they label guys that do playful stuff like that "assholes" and themselves "nice guys."

[Antonio the Sixth]

Of course not, but being 'nice' shouldn't be confused with being a pushover or not being ambitious or determined.

Sure, but being a bit shy/awkward/humble/unassertive/quiet doesn't make someone a pushover either.

With all those together... I would say it might.

These are traits that generally go together. And at a moderate level, they aren't flaws.

Well, awkwardness and unassertiveness certainly aren't positive character traits. I'm not sure how shy, awkward unassertiveness doesn't lend itself to being a pushover.

I guess you're right, but the opposite flaws (overconfidence and overassertiveness) are much, much worse IMO.

[Deus Naturae]

Of course not, but being 'nice' shouldn't be confused with being a pushover or not being ambitious or determined.

Sure, but being a bit shy/awkward/humble/unassertive/quiet doesn't make someone a pushover either.

With all those together... I would say it might.

These are traits that generally go together. And at a moderate level, they aren't flaws.

Well, awkwardness and unassertiveness certainly aren't positive character traits. I'm not sure how shy, awkward unassertiveness doesn't lend itself to being a pushover.

I guess you're right, but the opposite flaws (overconfidence and overassertiveness) are much, much worse IMO.

How so? People (especially women) respond very positively to confidence in my experience. There is a difference between confidence and cockiness. Worse case scenario you come off as confident but then your actual actions don't reflect that and you seem like a faker. As opposed to not talking to anyone in the first place and leaving no impression. In the former case you have a chance to fail, in the latter you have no chance to succeed.

As for assertiveness, it depends on the situation but in general I'd say the same principle applies. Not that overassertiveness isn't a flaw (it definitely is) but I can't see how it could possibly be worse than unassertiveness.

As for being a pushover, that's a matter of how you respond to people's demands of you. You can be shy and introverted but still stand up for yourself when need be. By contrast, you could also be sociable and outwardly confident but submit to every demand by someone you perceive to be of higher social status. I think being a pushover or not is a trait in and of itself.

[Gustaf]

Someone who self-proclaims himself nice usually isn't.

Mikado is correct.

Anyone who thinks they're not getting laid (or promoted for that matter) because they're too nice is deluding themselves.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

"Nice" doesn't necessarily mean "moral", nor nice mean that someone is quiet, shy, or easy to push around. Someone who's a ruthless bastard could be "nice" if they are personable, amiable, portray vulnerability, etc. Or, rather, someone who is anti-social, destructive to one's self and one's surroundings, and so on might fit the definition of "nice" if to you "nice" means being un-assertive. Someone who you see as "mean" may be incredibly just, or the assertive attitudes of an overall moral person may make you see them as loutish, brash, and "not nice". In short, this is an entirely subjective question with just as subjective an answer.

My personal belief is that success is derived from drive and pragmatic justness. Knowing how to treat people, how to act professionally, and how to advance yourself are going to be the best ingredients of success. Even if you get all amounts of material success, history shall still act as a judge even if you think God won't, and while the contents of reality are debatable, the answer still exists. There's your little brush with my idealism for the year, back to being a cynical bastard.

[The Mikado]

"I'm a nice guy" sounds like something a loan shark says.

"Sure you're delinquent this month, and Danny the Shark here could cut off your fingers, but I'm a nice guy, I'll give you another two weeks with only double the interest due."