Ben Carson: Prison makes people go gay

[Mechaman]

I must say, I usually scroll over these news stories, but I actually read this one.  And all I am going to say is LMFAO.

And I am going to break it down.

If what I am reading is correct, Dr. Ben Carson is saying that when men go to prison they are likely to come out gay because while they are in there they might have taken it in the ass, is that right?  You see, this is why I can't take social conservatives seriously, they are arguing that homosexual acts are "unnatural" yet people want to do them!  I mean seriously, what the blue hell is this sort of logic?!  Anyways, he has somehow managed to make an argument in favor of both a) gay sex, and b) prison reform without realizing it.  Which is even funnier.

What Dr. Carson also really fails at here is applying a universal societal gauge to guys who go to prison.  No, guys who rape other dudes in prison are not gay (hell many dudes who rape boys and sh*t probably aren't gay either, given that rape is not generally done solely to satisfy sexual urges), they are merely forcing their dominance and control over other dudes so that they don't end up waking up with a unwanted dick in their own ass or a shiv in their liver (and to fulfill some sexual needs that would otherwise be served by a woman, or in a few cases a man)!  And really, maybe this is just my bias as a straight dude who finds the idea of receiving anal disgusting, but I would much rather be the one doing the shafting than the one getting turned into the prison bitch here, because at least the former has as it's end goal the pole inside someone else's hole.  I would bet a good wooden nickel that a lot of male prisoners agree with this, and that includes the bitches.
Being in prison is not going to suddenly make the overwhelmingly straight population there suddenly go gay.  It might make them have a newfound love for anal sex, but women have asses too, you dumbsh*ts.  They can also buy strapons too, in case a man suddenly discovers his G-Spot.  Just because a man likes taking it in the ass doesn't mean he wants a man to do it (one of the many assumptions that many make about human sexuality, ie that sexual orientation is about how one does it instead of who they are doing it with).

So wow, this is probably a lot more R-Rated than I was intending, but really the amazing failure of Dr. Carson's analysis was kind of begging for it.

[Mechaman]

Another observation:

You would think that conservatives would much rather homosexuality not be a choice and that gays are "born that way" because that would imply that homosexuality is not something somebody can just "catch".  The "it's a choice" argument seems very weird, especially considering that they could just as easily argue against gay rights because "only a very small portion of the population is born with gay urges and they need to convert."

Oh sh*t, I hope I didn't just give them their next anti-gay talking points.