Indy Texas's life is a miserable, irredeemable mess

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Nothing's irredeemable.

[Indy Texas]

My advice; get a hobby. Your problem seem that you lack a social excuse to interact with new people, a hobby is a excellent way to get such a excuse. It doesn't really matter what the hobby is as long as it's social and preferable not one, where you can socialise over the internet.

I know this advice means well, but for whatever reason, hobbies/activities have never led to friendships for me. They just lead to people who I happen to do X/Y/Z with but never see or speak to them apart from that. That was the way it was being in student government and running track/XC in high school; same story with a community service group and the rowing club that I was in during college. No invitations to parties. No crazy spring break trips. I did not go to my 5 year high school reunion and am not going to my 5 year college reunion - there's no one to go back to see.

The only people who ever really paid attention to me were some people I knew in college who were always trying to get me to go to their church, which was a little on the cult-y side, so I generally stayed away. Religion is never going to be a social outlet for me. My spirituality is a private matter. I've never gotten anything out of organized religion. I don't see anything wrong with it and think it can be a positive thing, but it just doesn't do anything for me.

Some people can fall back on their relatives, but I only have two cousins and they both live in other parts of the country. My brother is nearly a decade younger than me so we've never been close either.

Have you considered picking up a sport?  Exercise and commraderie could be good for you.

I've really never played any team sports. The exercise I do get is running or going to the gym, which are pretty solitary activities even when done around or "with" other people.

[Panda Express]

IceSpear is right. Why don't you try online dating? At this point, you aren't going to get into a relationship the traditional way.

Also, ignore the yellow avatar in this topic (that is advice that can be used in any situation, really)

[Badger]

BTW, guy, I didn't mention it before, but fwiw coming from some middle-aged lawyer on a politics chat site, I think your posts are largely a good contribution to this place. So there's that.

[windjammer]

Indy Texas,
You need to stop having a so low image of yourself. This is not good for you. For example, As Badger said, your contributions on this forum are valuable. You're not a troll. You don't suffer from any lack of intelligence, etc etc.
You need to focus on the good things on your life that is happening. Because you seem to be someone who is "pessimistic". And that's definitely not good. If you believe you're a bad person-> you will avoid any social contact-> etc etc

You need to believe you're a good person and to trust yourself more. This is that your biggest problem: you have a too low opinion of yourself. And you need to fix that because you're a good person. When you realize you're a good person, I can assure you you will have much less problems in order to interact with other people.

[dead0man]

With this background, why are you such a bully to Bushie?  Are you like that with people in real life?

[politicus]

27 is rough, no doubt.  I went through it myself.  It's the first four-syllable age and it makes you feel old.

What about twen-ty-fi-ve?

[Deus Naturae]

IceSpear is right. Why don't you try online dating? At this point, you aren't going to get into a relationship the traditional way.

Also, ignore the yellow avatar in this topic (that is advice that can be used in any situation, really)

You had a bad experience in the Philippines or something?

Also, Indy, if you've never made friends via activities/clubs then the problem is probably that you never initiate conversation with anybody. At your age it will be hard to change this but you should try talking to random people you encounter throughout your day (cashiers, other people waiting in line for stuff, etc). That will make you better at starting conversations and talking to people.

[Mr. Smith]

27 is rough, no doubt.  I went through it myself.  It's the first four-syllable age and it makes you feel old.

What about twen-ty-fi-ve?

Only three syllables

[kcguy]

Indy,

I’ve been where you are.  I moved out on my own when I was 25, and I had no close friends within 500 miles.  College had been easier; I just became friends with my dormmates.  As an adult, building new networks of friends was a very gradual process of trying different things and seeing which ones stuck.

Have you tried meetup.com?  I’m on their e-mail list, and there always seem to be a lot of events going on.  (I haven’t actually made it to an event yet; I’m usually too busy.  I’d be playing cards at someone’s house tonight, if my hostess weren’t hosting a virus.)

Accept that some groups will be “clique-ish”.  These people have known each other a while, and they’re just meeting you.  It will take them a while before you reach the same level of intimacy with them.  Just find something you like and keep coming back.  And then come back some more.

On the job thing, I can’t relate as well.  I’ve never absolutely hated any job, at least not for any sustained period of time.

On the dating thing, you don’t want my advice.  That’s one area where I do tend to be very risk-adverse.  A few years ago, I tried match.com, and it was a disaster.  One of my friends, interestingly, did meet his wife on Craig’s list, which I can’t even begin to imagine.