Update XXII: Cleaning Up the Meat at [redacted].

[Associate Justice PiT]

Wait, is Update over?

     It would be fitting. Update has officially crossed the line into grimdark, where Oklahoma is a desolate wasteland of scamming. Nobody gets a happy ending and even innocent little Sprouts is a victim. Update is now Warhammer 40K. It would make sense thematically for it to end at this, its bleakest moment.

[memphis]

Wait, is Update over?

     It would be fitting. Update has officially crossed the line into grimdark, where Oklahoma is a desolate wasteland of scamming. Nobody gets a happy ending and even innocent little Sprouts is a victim. Update is now Warhammer 40K. It would make sense thematically for it to end at this, its bleakest moment.

Speaking of which, Allison's facial says that she is now engaging in some sort of tupperware pyramid scheme. Is she no longer working at the college?

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Has Papa forgiven you for the April fools joke and had he slit his wrists over Sprouts and your two week vacation?

[MasterJedi]

Bushie, did you go to college immediately after high school? Or did you wait a few years?

Last update post:  I moved into the dorms 9 days after my high school graduation on May 30, 2001 and started summer classes 2 weeks after graduation on June 4, 2001.

You were 19 when you finished high school? Any particular reason you were a year behind?

I got held back in the 1st grade.

How the hell is that even possible?

[Simfan34]

Update is never over. Our Dumb Fat Idiot lacks the self control to stop

Quoted for truth.

[Stand With Israel. Crush Hamas]

Bushie, did you go to college immediately after high school? Or did you wait a few years?

Last update post:  I moved into the dorms 9 days after my high school graduation on May 30, 2001 and started summer classes 2 weeks after graduation on June 4, 2001.

You were 19 when you finished high school? Any particular reason you were a year behind?

I got held back in the 1st grade.

How the hell is that even possible?

It's actually a lot easier to get left back in the early grades, especially if you're my age or a bit older like Bushie. At least back when I was going to elementary school in the late 80s, all it took was the teacher saying you weren't "ready" to move on (more likely in Kindergarten than 1st grade, though). It happened to my best friend in Kindergarten. We were inseparable since our parents introduced us when we were three, and with one stroke of a pen by the Kindergarten teacher, we were separated into different grades and rarely saw each other after that.

There's also illnesses/excessive absences. It's not all that unusual.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Update will never end. If it does, we may as well ban Bushie. The sad part is, however, Update was unable to stop him from this latest debacle. And it was so easily preventable.

[WalterMitty]

hopefully papa bushie is through supporting bushie.  he couldnt be happy about the latest developments.

[7,052,770]

You guys are crazy.  They're not going to take him back.  Why else would they can his unreliable, flakey ass the same day he made his intentions to leave known?

Perhaps, but there's no way Sprouts would have let him stay on for the 2 extra weeks, even if he was an excellent employee. The store is going to give the hours over the next 2 weeks to someone who is going to stick around.

Granted, Sprouts probably wouldn't take him back if he asked (especially since he's waited this long), there's no drawback whatsoever in asking. It's literally a life-changer for Bushie, and he should absolutely try. If he begs, cries, plays the "Christian" card, and reminds them of his slight mental disorder and gullibility ("I fell for a scam!!"), they might take him back. If they don't, he hasn't lost anything.

[memphis]

There are other groceries that employ people! Sprouts may not give him another shot but somebody else likely would. All he has to do is go to a website and fill out an application. It isn't like he's busy doing anything else...

[WalterMitty]

bushie should be on snagajob right now.

im sure instead he is napping and watching the super cable package.  it is easter, after all.

[Lief 🗽]

Bushie is enjoying his two week vacation! He can't ruin it with any job search nonsense, not when he's got such a promising career at Call Center #3478.

[WalterMitty]

odf has another long vacation on the way in a couple of weeks, after he gets fired from the new call center.  praise the lord.

[Lief 🗽]

odf has another long vacation on the way in a couple of weeks, after he gets fired from the new call center.  praise the lord.

God's really showing off with all the vacations He's giving Bushie! #blessed

[© tweed]

so he quit the grocery job because a) a day or two of working there wore him out and b) he had this conversation with a former mail carrier that made him obsess about nerve damage, so he decided he really better c) quit.

[memphis]

Bushie quit because he grew bored with working. That's all there is to it. Everything else is a bs rationalization.

[King]

Yes. There is no perfect job for Our Dumb Fatso. He's a lazy and selfish waste. He could be given his own church and be too lazy to give sermons. He has no drive or self control and it's past the point of being worth teaching him any. All he wants to do is just watch TV and eat fast food alone. I just pray for his family's peace that he dies quickly.

[© tweed]

Bushie quit because he grew bored with working. That's all there is to it. Everything else is a bs rationalization.

it is possible that the nerve damage became an obsessive fear rather than a post-haste rationalization.  this is not to say he would've continued working without running into this ex-mail carrier, but that his 'condition' would've seized onto something else.

ODF imagines all sorts of ailments for himself when he sitting around watching college football.  when exposed to a few consecutive days' work at a grocery store, he was likely to experience significant (but not dangerous) foot and back pain, etc.  this 'connected' with the nerve story and facilitated ODF's natural gravity towards inaction, inertia.

[© tweed]

You guys are crazy.  They're not going to take him back.  Why else would they can his unreliable, flakey ass the same day he made his intentions to leave known?

you'd be surprised.  I've worked about 4 wage jobs in the past 5 years.  an awful lot depends on the supervisor.  I've seen people with truancy rates of 30-40% be maintained (since it's a wage job, if they don't show up they don't get paid). 

I even was one of these employees my last semester of college.  I was a raging alcoholic (and a "full-time student", occasionally having to do schoolwork) so I missed probably 40% of my shifts, but I was more or less an honorary employee at that point anyway.

[Mechaman]

Yeah the idea that Bushie would have been canned for not showing up is quite funny.  By the time it would be considered a firable offense the managers would just assume that he quit (a defacto firing).

[DemPGH]

It is certainly possible to go and come from a grocery store type job (I know a couple kids who do it, come to think of it - it depends on when they are undertaking schooling), so if it was nothing fire-able, then it was just minor aches and pains for Bushie, and this is the easy way out.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Don't disturb him during his 2 week no pay vacation.  There's a super duper cable package to be watched.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Have you fessed up to your FB friends about the call center?  How about your sister in law?   

[Lief 🗽]

Damn I'd love to know what the sister in law is thinking right now.

[Sprouts Farmers Market ✘]

The idiots in this article could learn a lot from Update as Bushie not only uses their model but has exponentially increased the pace. 6 months per job. Pfft!