Update XXII: Cleaning Up the Meat at [redacted].

[memphis]

I'll start the season off with this:  Mom and I went to Walmart this evening and I stood on the foot mapping to see what level of Orthopedic insoles I need.  It said I had low arches and high foot pressure.  We made an investment in the comfort insoles to help improve my durability and hopefully give my feet, legs, and back better support, making them less tired and achy at the end of a long day.

For the sake of my sanity Bushie will you stop making shopping trips with Mommy?  God damn dude even if she's spotting you the dough just go yourself. 

Mommy's money, mommy's rules.

[memphis]

March Madness starts next week. There are tons of obscure college basketball games that you'll be watching anyway. Stand while you watch them.

[memphis]

When you have family visits, do you guys not do anything that requires standing and walking? I'm not suggesting you guys go run a marathon, but all of you can go somewhere like a park or downtown or something that technically involves standing and walking but isn't just "walking" either. Do you guys really just sit and stare at screens all day? That sounds completely unbearable.

[memphis]

When you have family visits, do you guys not do anything that requires standing and walking? I'm not suggesting you guys go run a marathon, but all of you can go somewhere like a park or downtown or something that technically involves standing and walking but isn't just "walking" either. Do you guys really just sit and stare at screens all day? That sounds completely unbearable.

I would imagine they sit around the TV and gossip. 

Most people enjoy those two activities. I love being slothful also, but to the exclusion of any movement whatsoever? That is prison. Why doesn't Bushie just email those folks at OnCompany, go to prison, and he'll never have to worry about moving or working ever again. Unless the movies have misinformed me, prison supports the Bible reading hobby, Mama and Papa can come on visiting day, and even his meals are provided. Prison is only a punishment if you want to do something that involves getting up and moving. Otherwise, it's a free ride.

[memphis]

To be fair, trying hard not to eat one particular thing does make one crave that one thing desperately. There was a bit in Tom Sawyer where the Temperence folks get the kids to promise not to drink, which, of course, makes the temptation that much more appealing.

[memphis]

What are the odds this job at [redacted] turns out to be a call center job?

[memphis]

1. Granny Bushie seems to be a much kinder person than Mama Bushie.
2. The more I try to understand Bushie's family tree, the more I am convinced the branches are elliptical in shape.

[memphis]

It's very nice of the Browns to gather to hold a birthday party for an old man they aren't related to at all.

Clarification: the Browns are not hosting the birthday party nor are we invited.  We are hosting a dinner tonight with all of our family together.  The family of the birthday man will hold a birthday party for him tomorrow.  The Browns have a free day tomorrow.

So you guys are stuffing your faces to celebrate his birthday but he won't even be there? Well, it's five o'clock somewhere.

[memphis]

I am super excited about the extra training I will get next week.  The lady I talked to this afternoon gave me her cell phone number and told me to call her over the weekend if I have questions.  That was a nice gesture.  It also gives me a good feeling about this company.  I've already had to ask her one question.

what was the one question

Making sure this was a full-time gig.  It is as much as a retail position demands.  They can't promise 40 hours, but as business demands I'll get as close as I can.  Sprouts usage very busy and very popular store and they have double-ad days on Wednesdays which means consumer savings which means business which means job security and more hours.

In short, no this is not a full time job. What I want to know is Does [redacted] like to throw money around?

[memphis]

No, there are people in retail who regularly work 40+ hours/week. You will likely begin with quite a bit fewer, though, and they will see how you perform and adjust your hours accordingly.

[memphis]

Just did a quick google search and it shows that just standing for 5 1/2 hours a day like I will do tomorrow and Friday, at my weight (289), I can burn over 800 calories per day.  That number seems awfully high, does that sound right to anyone else or is it high?

At around your weight, you burn like 100 calories an hour just breathing and normal body functions so no.  So lets not take this any sort of workout, you are burning a few hundred calories more than sitting on your couch.  That would be erased by a handful of potato chips.

If I burned that much while doing normal body functions, I'd be quite a bit lower than what I am now.  I don't really buy that.  Standing does burn calories.  I don't think it will be north of 800 calories, but even 400-500 calories burned is a significant amount compared to what I'm used to and will help as long as I don't go by Braum's or McDonald's on the way home.

Bushie's excuse for eating fast food garbage going forward is that he is too tired to cook after a long day of standing. Guarantee it.

[memphis]

Allison sure does like Bushie's new facialbook profile picture. Poor girl!

[memphis]

Wait, Bushie has insisted that he has had a persistent headache, of various grades, for years. He works one training shift at [redacted] and the darn headache is non-existent? Praise Buddha!

[memphis]

Bushie now that you work at the meat counter will you be trying cold cereal style cooked ground hamburger and milk again?

Not one of your brightest moments

I must have missed this. When did this happen? Sounds an awesome episode!

[memphis]

10/hr is plenty for a single man with cost of living in OK

Said no single man in Oklahoma ever. You may be able to make the case that it's managable. It certainly is not plenty.

[memphis]

It's supposed to be in the 50s all day in Tulsa. What temperature do you set your A/C to?

[memphis]

Indians have their own license plates? I did not know that.

[memphis]

How did Bushie get a $1000 tax refund? He barely worked at all in 2014.

[memphis]

How did Bushie get a $1000 tax refund? He barely worked at all in 2014.

EITC?

Bingo

Are you claiming the Kenyan children as dependents? Without children, you don't get that much from the EITC.

[memphis]

How did Bushie get a $1000 tax refund? He barely worked at all in 2014.

EITC?

Bingo

Are you claiming the Kenyan children as dependents? Without children, you don't get that much from the EITC.

No, I'm not claiming them.  They must have changed the law slightly because I got the full EITC since I was over 25, under 65 with no qualifying dependents.

The maximum you can get from the EITC credit without kids is $496.
http://www.irs.gov/Individuals/EITC-Income-Limits,-Maximum-Credit--Amounts-and-Tax-Law-Updates

[memphis]

I remember, years ago, Bushie mentioned that he always files as Head of Household, even though he doesn't qualify to do so. I wonder if he still does that.

[memphis]

It sounds like Bushie made about $7,000 last year. That's more than I would have thought, but I guess that old man who employed Bushie at CADD job #1 did let him linger for a while even though he "just didn't get it." Why is Bushie not on food stamps also? It's obviously not out of a principled desire not to take handouts from the government because he just received the EITC.

[memphis]

It sounds like Bushie made about $7,000 last year. That's more than I would have thought, but I guess that old man who employed Bushie at CADD job #1 did let him linger for a while even though he "just didn't get it." Why is Bushie not on food stamps also? It's obviously not out of a principled desire not to take handouts from the government because he just received the EITC.

There are strict limitations on what can be purchased with food stamps: restaurant food, hot food from the food bars/buffet counters that many supermarkets have are not eligible. Most of the items he could buy with food stamps would require him to cook. Also, a single male with no dependents wouldn't get more than a token amount anyway. However, candy, ice cream, and soft drinks are (for which you can thank the corn lobby, since in the U.S. these are usually made with high-fructose corn syrup rather than real sugar.

I wouldn't describe SNAP's limitation as "strict." You can buy pretty much anything that is edible and not hot/food bar. He could get lots of pizza bagels and frozen burritoes for the roughly $100/mo in food stamps he could easily get. Problem is, the money saved would be be Papa's and not his own, so he doesn't really care.

[memphis]

Didn't you just get your oil changed?  You can't have driven 3000 miles already.

Bushie lives many miles from everything in Tulsa and has to go back to OKC for biweekly family dinners and for frequent Injun Healthcare. He probably drives 3000 miles every month or so.

[memphis]

I just wish he would eat like a 60 year old. A week of eating prunes could flush out ten or twenty pounds worth of years of undigested Braums bacon cheeseburgers.

Heh that's another thing, Bushie always picks the WORST things to be a senior or child in.

When you think about it, Inks was kind of Bushie's inverse, he was like a senior in ways where it's beneficial and responsible but still young in terms of his comfort with technology and modern day society. Now granted he was still the most insufferable killjoy imaginable but the guy who quit a job where he was literally getting paid to do no actual work because some people smoked pot there isn't much better.

They weren't just some people though. They were those people.