I Just Want To Be Dead

[Ban my account ffs!]

Yes..if what tweed proposes happened...his suggestion would be seen as nearly criminal in its perceived callousness and it would indeed bring a great amount of negative attention on him and those who agreed with him.

The last thing even a non genuine angsty teen contemplating or, as you implied tweed, threatening suicide, needs is to be told that if he made a thread about it, it would just mysteriously disappear or he'd be punished for it.  And he needs to take up his problem not here, where he apparently sees potential support...but somewhere else 'better' that is, most importantly, not here and not from you.

I can see it now.  Rather than letting the entire forum offer encouragement and compassion...Torie would delete the thread, infract the guy, and then offer links to pre approved 'help'.  This is help your way tweed...not his way. And when you look at it, you realize what a terrible suggestion it was.  I hope so anyway.

The way en employer offers money saving tips after they throw you to the curb 'eating from a dumpster is not below your dignity.  I've made sure of it!'

Clinton1996 you need to figure out if these terrible feelings are truly dangerous (have you contemplated ways to do it or if things just feel really bad and you feel trapped or like you cant get anything done.

If it's the former...only professional help will get you through.  If its the latter...its about escaping the worst (binge watch netflix if youre really down or force yourself to hang out with a friend or family member that you get aling with well).  Deal with the dealable.  You can handle this stress because 'this too shall pass' (it always does).  You're getting so close to the point where you meet tons of people from all around and you can be yourself and because the pool is large enough...someone will still like you.

If you're gay and in the closet like I was...much of this ciuld stem from alienation and perceived lack of acceptance.  But the fear of rejection will be ten times worse for you than the rejection itself...and the most likely outcome in todays world...acceptance...will completely ruin your dark mood and you'll wonder why you were ever so paralyzed in that closet.

And that lesson of rejection vs acceptance applies to anyone nearly anywhere at multiple points in their lives.  

Unfortunately when you're so close to a major change of venue in your life...it is easiest to wait and be honest from the beginning there.  But that doesn't help now at all.  Hence, Netflix and Atlas and actually researching ways others have overcome their own fear of rejection or alienation from the community around them.  

Literally try to find the most wordsy description of how you feel..get it into some keywords...and google 'how do i deal with feeling this and this, etc' and there'll be many others who will have first hand advice.  And just read.  

And always remember... If Tweed, Oakvale, and X agree on anything ever...its a bad sign.  Nothing against them individually...but angst meets cynicism meets modeate heroism...run from their collective advice.