Well, they finally shut us down.

[Eraserhead]

I just want to thank all of the contributors who made Update™ one of the most interesting threads on the web for the last several years.

Mods, I ask that you please do not delete past Update™ seasons so that future generations may relive this tremendous and haunting tale if they wish.

BushOklahoma, if you become interested in producing a sequel to Update™ someday elsewhere let me know.

Otherwise, it looks like that's it. The end of an era. At least it had a fittingly epic ending with the invasion and everything.

UPDATE™ (2009-2015)

I guess we'll actually have to start talking about politics again now.

[Torie]

I for one appreciate the gracious way that you are handling this Eraserhead. I know it will be much appreciated by all of the Mods. Thanks.

[Eraserhead]

I for one appreciate the gracious way that you are handling this Eraserhead. I know it will be much appreciated by all of the Mods. Thanks.

You're welcome, friend. To be perfectly honest, I wasn't really even keeping up with what was happening in the threads anymore (at least until the latest Sprouts-related insanity happened) and it was kind of annoying to have to restart the thread every 80 pages.

That said, Update™ at its best was a thing of beauty. It was unlike anything else I've seen in a lot of ways. It will be missed.

[HagridOfTheDeep]

I never even read it, but what is so blasphemous about someone posting hilariously sad updates about their life on the "Forum Community" board? Usually I give the benefit of the doubt, but does someone wanna fill me in? I'm not seeing it...

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Update was shut down?



Looks like we will be seeing a lot less of Dukey in the future.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

Although supporting this for some of my own reasons, I think if Update has to go then PAPOY and Update for Everyone else get the boot, too.

[Grumpier Than Thou]

Although supporting this for some of my own reasons, I think if Update has to go then PAPOY and Update for Everyone else get the boot, too.

PAPOY needs to be more strictly moderated to prevent the creepfest, but Update for Everyone is nowhere near the level of personal invasiveness that The Update was at.

[King]

I think it ended up being a great ending in context.

Series Finale (Sn 22, Ep 13) "April Fools"

April 1, 2015: Bushie has finally made it. He has a job at Sprouts that the forum respects and will help him lose weight. His parents support him. Allison is talking to him again. On April Fools of all days, life is normal for Jeff Brown. But, like Walter White at the end of Breaking Bad's penultimate Granite State, that conclusion simply wasn't satisfying.

April 2, 2015: He walks out of the job. Gives them the "two weeks." Signs up for another call center scam job. Tells his parents to support him mooching. And finally, for once in his life, he makes a big change. He makes a change that he finally sticks to: he leaves the forum and ends Update.

[DemPGH]

Closing it really was objectively the right thing to do.   

[Eraserhead]

I think it ended up being a great ending in context.

Series Finale (Sn 22, Ep 13) "April Fools"

April 1, 2015: Bushie has finally made it. He has a job at Sprouts that the forum respects and will help him lose weight. His parents support him. Allison is talking to him again. On April Fools of all days, life is normal for Jeff Brown. But, like Walter White at the end of Breaking Bad's penultimate Granite State, that conclusion simply wasn't satisfying.

April 2, 2015: He walks out of the job. Gives them the "two weeks." Signs up for another call center scam job. Tells his parents to support him mooching. And finally, for once in his life, he makes a big change. He makes a change that he finally sticks to: he leaves the forum and ends Update.

He told me he'll be posting here again soon though. His return should be especially interesting now.

[Lief 🗽]

He'll be banned instantly if the moderators actually enforce their new rule.

[they don't love you like i love you]

I'm actually glad Update got something resembling a proper finish. Better than it petering out over something like the Utah arc.

[IceSpear]

rip in pasta

Or more fittingly, rip in double bacon cheeseburgers

[Southern Senator North Carolina Yankee]

UPDATE™ (2009-2015)

Carrying something on for six years on a internet forum But that, that, THATS CRAZY!!!!!

[Türkisblau]

UPDATE™ (2009-2015)

Carrying something on for six years on a internet forum But that, that, THATS CRAZY!!!!!

You do seem rather unstable.

[Southern Senator North Carolina Yankee]

UPDATE™ (2009-2015)

Carrying something on for six years on a internet forum But that, that, THATS CRAZY!!!!!

You do seem rather unstable.

Man, I was hoping for someone who would appreciate the sarcasm and respond in kind. Such killjoy Turk.

[Panda Express]

Carrying something on for six years on a internet forum But that, that, THATS CRAZY!!!!!

He's BACK!!! His Time Has Come Once Again!

[Chunk Yogurt for President!]

I thought the parts where he got engaged after being in a relationship for only a few weeks and when he thought she was pregnant were kind of funny.  I could never really get into anything after that.

[Starbucks Union Thug HokeyPuck]

I thought the parts where he got engaged after being in a relationship for only a few weeks and when he thought she was pregnant were kind of funny.  I could never really get into anything after that.

He had sex one day and declared he was going to be a father like... that night.  Classic.  Totally part of the child-like wonder with which he saw the world.

[Chunk Yogurt for President!]

I thought the parts where he got engaged after being in a relationship for only a few weeks and when he thought she was pregnant were kind of funny.  I could never really get into anything after that.

He had sex one day and declared he was going to be a father like... that night.  Classic.  Totally part of the child-like wonder with which he saw the world.

When I first read him say he was going to be a father I literally thought that there was a pregnancy test involved. 

[memphis]

I thought the parts where he got engaged after being in a relationship for only a few weeks and when he thought she was pregnant were kind of funny.  I could never really get into anything after that.

He had sex one day and declared he was going to be a father like... that night.  Classic.  Totally part of the child-like wonder with which he saw the world.

And yet that single night proves also that he is one of the less sexually repressed members on the Forum. Congrats to him for that.