Ed Gillespie sat down on the couch and kicked off his shoes. He had just finished another long day of work as chairman of the Republican National Committee, and now it was time for some rest. He picked up the day's copy of the Fairfax County Times and began some light work on the crossword puzzle inside.
No sooner had he finished the first three clues than his wife came walking up to him. "Ed, you've got a guest."
Gillespie turned around. In the doorway was none other than former House Speaker Newt Gingrich himself.
"Ed, we've got to talk."
"What about?"
"In private, please."
Gillespie escorted Gingrich to his office room and closed the door. "What's up?"
"You know what's up, Ed. CBS released a poll just this morning that had Cheney down five more points and Craig up another six. You know what that means?"
"Of course I do, Newt. Craig has got the damn momentum and he's going to win the damn primary."
"That's right. And you know what the first thing he does once he wins that primary is going to be?"
"Oh, come on, Newt."
"He's coming right for our throats. He's coming right for the party establishment, and you know it. His whole campaign has been one huge scapegoat of any Republican politician not to the right of Barry f*cking Goldwater, and if he wins this thing in the end, we're absolutely done for."
"And what exactly do you plan to do about it?"
"Well, there's only one thing we can do about it if we want to keep ourselves alive. We have to up the ante on painting him as a traitor, and we have to do it fast."
"You know that won't work, Newt. Internals show that attacking Craig for being a traitor just makes his supporters more passionate - I have no idea how continuing to run the same lines over and over again will ever work to our advantage."
"I say we demand he either pledge permanent allegiance to the Republican Party or we get him the hell out of our debates. That should show where he truly stands."
"You seriously think that's going to work?"
"I don't care if it works. I just don't want to see that slimy piece of sh*t back on another debate stage that I paid for."
"Seems awfully risky to me."
"Oh, come on, Ed. What's the worst he can do?"
I think I can hear Craig's supporters striking up "The Rains of Castamere"
Poll
