Affirmative Consent Laws

[ingemann]

I would suggest a compromise that conservative, college feminists and asbergers could be happy about; Let's ban extramarital sex. This is a truly Solomonic solution. The college feminist can declare all sex in college for rape, the conservatives can defend marriage and tradition and the asbergers can get clear legal contracts into people's sexual lives. Everyone are happy.

[ingemann]

ingemann, before I decide how much of an colossal jackass I think you are, I have to ask: What group of people, exactly, is it who you're referring to as 'asbergers'?

Well I'm exactly as big jackass as you want me to be, through isn't it a little political incorrect to call me the J word, I mean shouldn't we have come further than comparing men to male animals known best for their large genitals and promiscuous lifestyle, what kind of example are you setting for the young women, where they can come with such sexist about the other gender, you should be ashamed of yourself.

[ingemann]

I don’t know why I missed this.

Ultimately, action against unwanted sexual advances is determined by what statistics say. And what statistics say on this issue is ultimately meaningless. So you have social science saying ‘a woman has a 1 in x chance of rape’ based on surveys and then the legal system spitting out statistics on arrests/convictions for said offences. And because they can never fit together and the arrest/conviction rate is low, the action is to evoke the law into ensuring that arrests/convictions increase. The problem with this is the assumption made that the correct course of action is to prosecute more men, when perhaps the more productive method is to increase education about appropriate sexual behaviour.

The idea that there is consent of any nature in a sexual act (and I’m not saying consent isn’t a real and tangible thing) is based on the legal definiton of consent. It pays little attention to actual social and sexual interactions that people have. It is for the very same reason that the age of consent itself is entirely arbitary and pays little attention to whether someone is physically/psychologically capable of sex and capable of consenting to that. However there is no other method that can be applied that can safeguard the vulnerable.

As Marokai touches upon in any human interaction, even those of a non sexual nature, verbal consent is not the only means by which someone consents to an action. From experience I’ve found myself in bed with someone without either of us muttering a word about it.

If you are arguing for affirmative verbal consent, you’re asking someone to clarify their intent in every step. The logical extension of this is that  you cannot chat someone up unless you both verbally agree. You cannot kiss them unless both parties agree. You cannot fondle unless both partes agree, no touching until both verbally agree, no oral until both agree, no penetrative sex until both agree. Do you check in in every few minutes to make sure it’s still okay? It’s absurd.

Saying no is much more powerful. And when you say no, even after doing all of the above, it is clear and is a strong expression of sentiment that you wish for the action to stop. And if you keep going after someone says no, there is absolutely no ambiguity about that and you can can rightly, and through legal means, throw the book at them if you have to.

Beautiful