2016: A Total Mess

[Attorney General, LGC Speaker, and Former PPT Dwarven Dragon]

The First Ballot

DWS: All right. I wish the primary voters had just listened to me and settled on someone before this point, but it is what it is. Apparently people enjoy seeing democrats fight each other. Unfortunately, this primary has lowered our chances of winning the general election. We have shown ourselves to be no better than the Republicans with this election, and when we lose.....

*A Biden delegate suddenly throws a rotten vegetable at DWS*

Random delegates: Fire her! Fire her! Fire her!

DWS: Do you have to be sexist now, too?

Louder: Fire her! Fire her! Fire her!

DWS: Obama? Some help here?

Obama: I'm not the one who criticized this process. I'm not the one who supported a complete coronation of Hillary with no fight whatsoever. This is your own battle to fight.

*Huge Cheers*

DWS: Anyways, it will be a true miracle if we pull off this election, but I suppose we have to nominate someone. Conclude this sinful primary process one way or another.

Louder: Fire her! Fire her! Fire her!

Obama: You weren't like this yesterday and the day before that....

DWS: Because I decided that the best way to make the party feel truly embarrassed about this was to attack it during the balloting itself. We must never let such a process happen again!

Obama: So, we should have just handed Hillary the nomination on a silver platter?

DWS: YES! The more united we appear, the better we do!

Obama: So, in the future, we just nominate the first candidate that announces?

DWS: Well....

Obama: I'll take that as a yes. DWS, I've had it with you! This party has shed over 900 state legislative seats because of you, we lost seats in both houses of congress last cycle because of you, our party's messaging has become terrible because of you!

DWS: Sexist! Sexist!

Obama: No! I would be saying the exact same words right now if you were a male with an identical religion to mine. Your fear-mongering complex is despicable, and your disrespect for this process will not be tolerated any longer!

Over 1000 delegates now: Fire her! Fire her! Fire her!

Obama: We need a better message than "we suck less" or "we win no matter what because of demographics". We can't count on the Republicans having a terrible GOTV system again. And if we can't even nominate a candidate at convention properly, we don't deserve any respect as a party!

DWS: ....

Obama: And I got through a long primary and won the general. So did President Clinton. The last time we had a coronation, back in 2004, we lost the general. Now start the ballot before I have someone else do it!

DWS: Fine! Vice Chair R.T. Rybak will keep count. 2242 votes are needed for nomination. First up, Alabama with 58 delegates!

Surrogate: Alabama, the state where one day, the democratic party will rise again (...) Alabama casts 30 votes for Clinton, 23 for Biden, and 5 for Sanders!

Rybak: Clinton 30, Biden 23, Sanders 5!

DWS: Alaska, with 18 delegates!

Surrogate: Alaska, a state that this year will see the crushing defeat of Senator Murkowski (...) Alaska casts 7 votes for Biden, 7 for Clinton, and 4 for Sanders!

Rybak: Clinton 37, Biden 30, Sanders 9!

DWS: American Samoa, with 10 delegates!

Surrogate: American Samoa, a territory filled with great people who wish they could vote in the General (...) American Samoa casts all 10 votes for Hillary Clinton!

Rybak: Clinton 47, Biden 30, Sanders 9!

DWS: Arizona, with 75 delegates!

Surrogate: Arizona, a state where the democrats will finally find success this cycle (...) Arizona casts 32 votes for Biden, 26 for Clinton, and 17 for Sanders!

Rybak: Clinton 73, Biden 52, Sanders 26!

DWS: Arkansas, with 37 delegates!

Surrogate: Arkansas, home to many hiking trails and the Clinton presidential archives (...) Arkansas casts 26 votes for Clinton and 11 for Biden!

Rybak: Clinton 99, Biden 63, Sanders 26!

DWS: California, with 476 delegates!

Surrogate: California, the state where the republican party is extinct (...) California casts 227 votes for Biden, 212 for Clinton, and 37 for Sanders!

Rybak: Clinton 311, Biden 290, Sanders 63!

DWS: Colorado, with 77 delegates!

Surrogate: Colorado, the state that is not afraid of marijuana (...) Colorado casts 51 votes for Sanders, 24 for Biden, and 2 for Clinton!

Rybak: Biden 314, Clinton 313, Sanders 114!

[Enderman]

Holy crap Wulfric, this is glorious! One question though, are they (DWS and Obama) speaking on the Comvention floor? Are they on podiums? Speaking across the convention hall?

[Attorney General, LGC Speaker, and Former PPT Dwarven Dragon]

Holy crap Wulfric, this is glorious! One question though, are they (DWS and Obama) speaking on the Convention floor? Are they on podiums? Speaking across the convention hall?

Obama is seated near the center of the stage in the front row. He stepped on stage during the confrontation. He was about 10 paces away from DWS at that point.

[Enderman]

Holy crap Wulfric, this is glorious! One question though, are they (DWS and Obama) speaking on the Convention floor? Are they on podiums? Speaking across the convention hall?

Obama is seated near the center of the stage in the front row. He stepped on stage during the confrontation. He was about 10 paces away from DWS at that point.

Ah okay, thanks. Can't wait for the next part

[Bigby]

Damn, that was awesome of Obama, and I don't even like the guy. The enemy of my enemy is a cool guy, at least.

[Attorney General, LGC Speaker, and Former PPT Dwarven Dragon]

DWS: Connecticut, with 65 delegates!

Surrogate: Connecticut, the greatest state in the northeast (...) Connecticut casts 27 votes for Biden, 19 for Sanders, and 19 for Clinton!

Rybak: Biden 341, Clinton 332, Sanders 133!

DWS: Delaware, with 27 delegates!

Surrogate: Delaware, the home of our great vice president (...) Delaware casts all 27 votes for Biden!

Rybak: Biden 368, Clinton 332, Sanders 133!

DWS: Democrats Abroad, with 17 delegates!

Surrogate: These votes may be from abroad, but they still come from fierce loyalists to our party (...) Democrats Abroad casts 15 votes for Clinton and 2 for Biden!

Rybak: Biden 370, Clinton 347, Sanders 133!

DWS: The District of Columbia, with 37 delegates!

Surrogate: D.C., home to the white house (...) D.C. casts 22 votes for Biden, 14 for Clinton, and 1 for Sanders!

Rybak: Biden 392, Clinton 361, Sanders 134!

DWS: Florida, with 238 delegates!

Surrogate: Florida, home to great beaches and this convention's keynote speaker (...) Florida casts 114 votes for Biden, 104 for Clinton, and 20 for Sanders!

Rybak: Biden 506, Clinton 465, Sanders 154!

DWS: Georgia, with 112 delegates!

Surrogate: Georgia, the state that will soundly reject Johnny Isakson this cycle (...) Georgia casts 60 votes for Clinton, 50 for Biden, and 2 for Sanders!

Rybak: Biden 556, Clinton 525, Sanders 156!

DWS: Guam, with 11 delegates!

Surrogate: Guam, an amazing territory (...) Guam casts all 11 votes for Clinton!

Rybak: Biden 556, Clinton 536, Sanders 156!

DWS: Hawaii, with 31 delegates!

Surrogate: Hawaii, the birthplace of our great president (...) Hawaii casts 21 votes for Biden, 9 for Clinton, and 1 for Sanders!

Rybak: Biden 577, Clinton 545, Sanders 157!

DWS: Idaho, with 24 delegates!

Surrogate: Idaho, the state where there are just too many republicans (...) Idaho casts 15 votes for Clinton, 7 for Biden, and 2 for Sanders!

Rybak: Biden 584, Clinton 560, Sanders 159!

DWS: Illinois, with 190 delegates!

Surrogate: Illinois, the proud home of our president (...) Illinois casts 85 votes for Clinton, 75 for Biden, and 30 for Sanders!

Rybak: Biden 659, Clinton 645, Sanders 189!

DWS: Indiana, with 79 delegates!

Surrogate: Indiana, where Baron Hill will soon be elected Senator (...) Indiana casts 32 votes for Sanders, 28 for Biden, and 19 for Clinton!

Rybak: Biden 687, Clinton 664, Sanders 221!

DWS: Iowa, with 54 delegates!

Surrogate: Iowa is proud to still be the first in the nation caucus (...) Iowa casts 20 votes for Biden, 19 for Sanders, and 15 for Clinton!

Rybak: Biden 707, Clinton 679, Sanders 240!

DWS: Kansas, with 37 delegates!

Surrogate: Kansas, another state with too many republicans (...) Kansas casts 17 votes for Biden, 13 for Clinton, and 7 for Sanders!

Rybak: Biden 724, Clinton 692, Sanders 247!

DWS: Kentucky, with 53 delegates!

Surrogate: Kentucky, home to mountains, and soon, the defeat of Rand Paul (...) Kentucky casts 21 votes for Biden, 21 for Clinton, and 11 for Sanders!

Rybak: Biden 745, Clinton 713, Sanders 258!

DWS: Louisiana, with 61 delegates!

Surrogate: Louisiana, the best southern state (...) Louisiana casts 33 votes for Clinton, 24 for Biden, and 4 for Sanders!

Rybak: Biden 769, Clinton 746, Sanders 262!

[Attorney General, LGC Speaker, and Former PPT Dwarven Dragon]

DWS: Maine, with 30 delegates!

Surrogate: Maine, home to Acadia National Park (...) Maine casts 16 votes for Sanders, 8 for Clinton, and 4 for Biden!

Rybak: Biden 773, Clinton 754, Sanders 278!

DWS: Maryland, with 105 delegates!

Surrogate: Maryland, the state that definitely regrets electing Larry Hogan (...) Maryland casts 59 votes for Clinton, 41 for Biden, and 5 for Sanders!

Rybak: Biden 814, Clinton 813, Sanders 283!

DWS: Massachusetts, with 121 delegates!

Surrogate: Massachusetts, the state that will one day elect Martha Coakley to something (...) Massachusetts casts 44 votes for Sanders, 39 for Biden, and 38 for Clinton!

Rybak: Biden 853, Clinton 851, Sanders 327!

DWS: Michigan, with 152 delegates!

Surrogate: Michigan, proud home to two great lakes (...) Michigan casts 57 votes for Sanders, 51 for Clinton, and 45 for Biden!

Rybak: Clinton 902, Biden 898, Sanders 384!

DWS: Minnesota, with 94 delegates!

Surrogate: Minnesota, proud home to over 10,000 lakes (...) Minnesota casts 59 votes for Sanders, 21 for Biden, and 14 for Clinton!

Rybak: Biden 919, Clinton 916, Sanders 443!

DWS: Mississippi, with 41 delegates!

Surrogate: Mississippi, home to one of the last remaining southern democrats, State Attorney general Jim Hood (...) Mississippi casts 25 votes for Clinton, 15 for Biden, and 1 for Sanders!

Rybak: Clinton 941, Biden 934, Sanders 444!

DWS: Missouri, with 88 delegates!

Surrogate: Missouri, the state that will see the resounding defeat of Senator Roy Blunt (...) Missouri casts 31 votes for Sanders, 30 for Clinton, and 27 for Biden!

Rybak: Clinton 971, Biden 961, Sanders 475!

DWS: Montana, with 22 delegates!

Surrogate: Montana, proud home to many forests (...) Montana casts 9 votes for Sanders, 8 for Biden, and 5 for Clinton!

Rybak: Clinton 976, Biden 969, Sanders 484!

DWS: Nebraska, with 31 delegates!

Surrogate: Nebraska, one of many states with too many republicans (...) Nebraska casts 14 votes for Biden, 11 for Clinton, and 6 for Sanders!

Rybak: Clinton 987, Biden 983, Sanders 490!

DWS: Nevada, with 39 delegates!

Surrogate: Nevada, home to many casinos (...) Nevada casts 17 votes for Clinton, 17 for Biden, and 5 for Sanders!

Rybak: Clinton 1,004, Biden 1,000, Sanders 495!

DWS: New Hampshire, with 32 delegates!

Surrogate: New Hampshire, proud home of the 1st in the nation primary (...) New Hampshire casts 14 votes for Sanders, 11 for Biden, and 7 for Clinton!

Rybak: Clinton 1,011, Biden 1,011, Sanders 509!

DWS: New Jersey, with 126 delegates!

Surrogate: New Jersey, the state that will be very glad when Chris Christie leaves office in January 2018 (...) New Jersey casts 49 votes for Biden, 43 for Clinton, and 34 for Sanders!

Rybak: Biden 1,060, Clinton 1,054, Sanders 543!

DWS: New Mexico, with 38 delegates!

Surrogate: New Mexico, the best state in the south (...) New Mexico casts 19 votes for Biden, 16 for Clinton, and 3 for Sanders!

Rybak: Biden 1,079, Clinton 1,070, Sanders 546!

DWS: New York, with 277 delegates!

Surrogate: New York, home to the nation's largest city (...) New York casts 190 votes for Clinton, 84 votes for Biden, and 3 for Sanders!

Rybak: Clinton 1,260, Biden 1,163, Sanders 549!

[AussieLaborite]

Damnit was Hoping for a sanders upset.

[Bigby]

Well, . Clinton STILL comes out on top.

[Attorney General, LGC Speaker, and Former PPT Dwarven Dragon]

DWS: North Carolina, with 120 delegates!

Surrogate: North Carolina, home to great smoky mountains national park (...) North Carolina casts 63 votes for Biden and 57 for Clinton!

Rybak: Clinton 1,317, Biden 1,226, Sanders 549!

DWS: North Dakota, with 19 delegates!

Surrogate: North Dakota, the best rural state (...) North Dakota casts 8 votes for Biden, 6 for Sanders, and 5 for Clinton!

Rybak: Clinton 1,322, Biden 1,234, Sanders 555!

DWS: The Northern Mariana Islands, with 11 delegates!

Surrogate: The Northern Mariana Islands, which will be a state someday (...) The Northern Mariana Islands casts all 11 votes for Clinton!

Rybak: Clinton 1,333, Biden 1,234, Sanders 555!

DWS: Ohio, with 165 delegates!

Surrogate: Ohio, home to the auto bailout (...) Ohio casts 67 votes for Biden, 60 for Clinton, and 38 for Sanders!

Rybak: Clinton 1,393, Biden 1,301, Sanders 593!

DWS: Oklahoma, with 42 delegates!

Surrogate: Oklahoma, the worst state (...) Oklahoma casts 27 votes for Clinton and 15 for Biden!

Rybak: Clinton 1,420, Biden 1,316, Sanders 593!

DWS: Oregon, with 64 delegates!

Surrogate: Oregon, home of pioneers (...) Oregon casts 29 votes for Sanders, 21 for Biden, and 14 for Clinton!

Rybak: Clinton 1,434, Biden 1,337, Sanders 622!

DWS: Pennsylvania, with 181 delegates!

Surrogate: Pennsylvania, the state will see the solid defeat of Senator Toomey (...) Pennsylvania casts 89 votes for Biden, 82 for Clinton, and 10 for Sanders!

Rybak: Clinton 1,516, Biden 1,426, Sanders 632!

DWS: Puerto Rico, with 58 delegates!

Surrogate: Puerto Rico, which will be a state very soon (...) Puerto Rico casts 47 votes for Clinton and 11 for Biden!

Rybak: Clinton 1,563, Biden 1,437, Sanders 632!

DWS: Rhode Island, with 31 delegates!

Surrogate: Rhode Island, the greatest part of the northeast (...) Rhode Island casts 12 votes for Sanders, 10 for Biden, and 9 for Clinton!

Rybak: Clinton 1,572, Biden 1,447, Sanders 644!

DWS: South Carolina, with 57 delegates!

Surrogate: South Carolina, home to lookout mountain (...) South Carolina casts 28 votes for Biden, 23 for Clinton, and 6 for Sanders!

Rybak: Clinton 1,595, Biden 1,475, Sanders 650!

DWS: South Dakota, with 20 delegates!

Surrogate: South Dakota, the actual best rural state (...) South Dakota casts 8 votes for Biden, 8 for Sanders, and 4 for Clinton!

Rybak: Clinton 1,599, Biden 1,483, Sanders 658!

DWS: Tennessee, with 77 delegates!

Surrogate: Tennessee, which will one day be more democratic (...) Tennessee casts 37 votes for Clinton, 34 for Biden, and 6 for Sanders!

Rybak: Clinton 1,636, Biden 1,517, Sanders 664!

DWS: Texas, with 238 delegates!

Surrogate: Texas, one of the worst states in the country (...) Texas casts 117 votes for Biden, 112 for Clinton, and 9 for Sanders!

Rybak: Clinton 1,748, Biden 1,634, Sanders 673!

DWS: Utah, with 28 delegates!

Surrogate: Utah, home to the great salt lake (...) Utah casts 14 votes for Clinton, 10 for Biden, and 4 for Sanders!

Rybak: Clinton 1,762, Biden 1,644, Sanders 677!

DWS: Vermont, with 23 delegates!

Surrogate: Vermont, the proud home of Bernie Sanders (...) Vermont casts all 23 votes for Sanders!

Rybak: Clinton 1,762, Biden 1,644, Sanders 700!

DWS: The Virgin Islands, with 11 delegates!

Surrogate: The Virgin Islands, a great territory (...) The Virgin Islands casts all 11 votes for Clinton!

Rybak: Clinton 1,773, Biden 1,644, Sanders 700!

DWS: Virginia, with 112 delegates!

Surrogate: Virginia, home to Jamestown (...) Virginia casts 55 votes for Biden, 45 for Clinton, and 12 for Sanders!

Rybak: Clinton 1,818, Biden 1,699, Sanders 712!

DWS: Washington State, with 102 delegates!

Surrogate: Washington State, home to Olympic National Park (...) Washington State casts 46 votes for Sanders, 35 for Clinton, and 21 for Biden!

Rybak: Clinton 1,853, Biden 1,720, Sanders 758!

DWS: West Virginia, with 35 delegates!

Surrogate: West Virginia, home to applachia (...) West Virginia casts 19 votes for Clinton, 10 for Biden, and 6 for Sanders!

Rybak: Clinton 1,874, Biden 1,730, Sanders 764!

DWS: Wisconsin, with 89 delegates!

Surrogate: Wisconsin, the state that wishes Scott Walker would resign tomorrow (...) Wisconsin casts 38 votes for Sanders, 33 for Biden, and 18 for Clinton!

Rybak: Clinton 1,892, Biden 1,763, Sanders 802!

DWS: and Wyoming, with 17 delegates!

Surrogate: Wyoming, the actual, real best rural state (...) Wyoming casts 11 votes for Clinton and 6 for Biden!

Rybak: Clinton 1,903, Biden 1,769, Sanders 802, 9 Abstain*!

*Note: My math is bad somewhere in this, as it adds up to 4,474 votes, 9 votes less than the actual number of delegates. For sake of time, I've just decided to mark those delegates as having abstained from voting in the first ballot.


DWS: The first ballot has concluded, and no one has reached the 2,242 delegate votes needed for nomination. The balloting will conclude tomorrow. Good night.

[Attorney General, LGC Speaker, and Former PPT Dwarven Dragon]

Democratic Convention - July 28

DWS: Good morning. It's time to conclude this sinful convention.

*Obama gives DWS an evil glare*

DWS: Before we begin the 2nd ballot, any group of 4 delegates may nominate an additional candidate. 1 additional candidate per each group of 4 delegates. Are there any additional nominations?



Delegates cheering as Al Gore is nominated

DWS: Any other nominations?

*silence*

DWS: Very well. The 2nd ballot is taken secretly, with no announcement by state. All delegates may vote for whomever they wish. You can vote for Clinton, Biden, Sanders, Gore, or elect to Abstain from this ballot. The ballots are now being passed out, collection will begin in 15 minutes.

****

DWS: For the 2nd ballot, we have Clinton with 1,334 votes, Biden with 1,300 votes, Sanders with 954 votes, and Gore with 895 votes. Gore is now eliminated. The third ballot, between Clinton, Biden, and Sanders will now begin.

****

DWS: For the 3rd ballot, we have Biden with 1,676 votes, Sanders with 1,399 votes, Clinton with 1,394 votes, and 14 delegates abstaining from this ballot. Clinton is now eliminated. Let the final ballot between Biden and Sanders begin.

[Bigby]

Thank God, Clinton is gone.

[Attorney General, LGC Speaker, and Former PPT Dwarven Dragon]

Obama's Fury

DWS: And the results of the final convention ballot are 2,654 for Biden to 1,802 for Sanders with 27 delegates abstaining! Joe Biden is the official presidential nominee of the Democratic Party!

*massive cheering*

DWS: Now, let's get the vice presidential nomination overwith. Biden has indicated that his preference is U.S. Sen. Joe Manchin. We'll try to settle this by a voice vote. All in favor?

*about 60% of the delegates yell 'AYE'*

DWS: All opposed?

*about 40% of the delegates yell 'Nay'*

DWS: The motion prevails. Joe Manchin is the official vice presidential nominee of the democratic party!

*more cheering*

DWS: Now, before we adjourn until the evening, President Obama has an important announcement to make.

Obama: Good Morning. There sometimes comes a moment when you know you made a wrong decision some number of years back. There is no way to reverse the clock and undo it all, of course, but you can at least stop any further harm occuring from the mistake.

In 2011, after Tim Kaine stepped down as DNC chair, I chose Debbie Wasserman Schultz to be the next chair. At the time, I saw her as an effective messenger who could effectively promote our ideas and shoot down those of the other side. But over the years, we've learned how destructive having her as DNC chair has been to the party. Our messaging has turned from an inspiring narrative that led us to victory in such states as IN and NC in 2008 to little more than "we suck less". Our campaigning has become complacent because DWS has deceived us into believing that whoever turned out to vote for me in 2008 will always turn out to vote no matter what, and that there is some 'blue wall' of electoral votes that Republicans cannot possibly win.

But this ignores history - when we won the presidency in 1992, we broke through a 'red wall' that was thought to exist at the time. We did not win in California until we broke through that red wall, and today California is an automatic win for us. If we are not careful, republicans will get ahead of us in their GOTV, and break through the blue wall on their way to a landslide win. While we have a great democratic ticket, it isn't going to win without a great organization behind it.

Over the years, we've seen how DWS's organization weakens us. In 2012, our ability to make gains in the house was limited by it, and we failed to inspire our voters enough to defeat Dean Heller in Nevada. In 2013, we almost lost the Virginia Governor's Race against a terrible republican nominee. In 2014, we suffered crushing defeats at every level of government - the senate, the house, the governorships, the state legislatures, nothing was safe from the huge republican wave. Last year, we only won the KY Governorship by 1 point against a terrible republican nominee and we failed to be competitive in the Louisiana gubernatorial runoff. 

We can only stop this streak by improving our messaging, our devotion to turning out the vote even in tough midterm climates and off year elections. We must continue this beyond the coattails of this year's presidential ticket. And DWS's disrespect for this convention has convinced me that this action cannot wait until after the election, it must happen now. And that can only be done by returning to what worked so well in 2006 and 2008. To do that, we will bring back the man who organized those efforts, until we can find new leaders who can also execute them well. So, tomorrow, I will issue an executive order. It will order the immediate firing of DWS, because of everything I have just talked about. Former DNC Chair Howard Dean will serve as Interim Chair until an alternative can be selected, which will happen sometime next year. I will recommend, but not require, the firing and replacement of all of DWS's vice chairs as well. I will not be convinced by anyone to rescind this declaration, it is what must be done for the good of the party!

DWS: No! This is Sexist! Sexist! Anti-Semitic! The party's defeats are not my fault!

Obama: The decision has been made. I put you on notice that you were under consideration for termination in March, and all you offered as a defense was your fear mongering complex. That's not going to work anymore!

DWS: Sexist! Sexist! Sexist!

Delegates, Loudly: Shut up, dumbo! We're tired of losing!

DWS: This is the treatment you give me, after all this loyal service to the party?

Obama: Some service this is. Losing the Senate? Losing hundreds of state legislative seats? That's what passes for good service these days?

DWS: That has nothing to do with me!

Obama: It has everything to do with you! You have a big say in the party's messaging, you have a big say in how we campaign, where we spend our money, how well we get out the vote, and you've made some terrible decisions over these years!

DWS: ...

Obama: Now leave this convention.

DWS: What?

Obama: You heard me. You're not spending another second criticizing this convention or hurting our party. I'll have one of the vice chairs facilitate tonight's acceptance speeches. You can leave right now.

DWS: No! This is Sexist! Sexist!

Obama: Guards!

And DWS was grabbed by security and forced out of the convention as the crowd gave Obama a standing ovation. That night, Vice Chair Raymond Buckley led the convention proceedings, and Manchin and Biden gave great and inspiring acceptance speeches. DWS literally cried herself to sleep. And the next day, Obama issued the executive order firing her and reinstating Howard Dean as promised, and the DNC voted overwhelmingly to comply with the order later that same day. The Era of DWS was finally over.

Next: VP choices for the Republicans

[Bigby]

And nothing of value was lost. Can't wait for the GOP Convention!

[Enderman]

Sic tyrannus ceciderit, thus the Tyrant has fallen. Anyways, amazing work Wulfric! Kasich, Carson, Walker and Trump all fighting each other for delegates is going to be very interesting. The DWS Firing is going to be VERY detrimental for DNC polls, the just-fired Chair being quite literally dragged off the Convention floor by security is definitely going to go viral. For the sake of the plot, I sorta hope that DWS turns out to be the Manchurian Candidate for the Democrats. Or, would it be in this case, the Palestinian Candidate?

[Senator Cris]

This is glorious.

[Attorney General, LGC Speaker, and Former PPT Dwarven Dragon]

Scott Walker - June 11, 2016

"At the convention, I will make a strong appeal to the delegates and win the nomination. A big part of this will be my VP selection. We must expand our appeal as a party and be able show more voters that a conservative message is the one to vote for. We must show voters that conservative policies are a proven success even in very democratic states. Therefore, I announce that the next vice president of the United States will be New Mexico Governor Susana Martinez!"

Ben Carson - June 20, 2016

"I will convey a strong message of being separated from Washington to the delegates and to the voters. But I will at least need someone to guide me through the complex system once I get there, and that is the goal with my VP choice - to pick someone who is not corrupt, but can still help me navigate Washington. I also seek to unite a divided party so we can effectively counter the democratic nominee. My VP selection is Former Secretary of State Condolezza Rice!

John Kasich - June 21, 2016

"Condolezza Rice? Seriously Carson? The Bush administration was a terrible time for this nation that it must never return to. Our ticket must look to the future, not to the past. It must be one that emphasizes moderate views and can really appeal to independents and conservative democrats. We must not only show success in our ticket, but success with the right agenda. If I am nominated, the next Vice President of the United States will be Nevada Governor Brian Sandoval!

Donald Trump - July 5, 2016

"This country needs to purge itself of political correctness, take a hard line against Washington insiders, and make itself great again. For VP, I have selected an individual who has courage to fight for these ideals, the bravery needed to make the mexicans pay for the new border wall, and who has a strong, conservative record. My selection is Former Arizona Governor Jan Brewer!

[Bigby]

If I looked at VP selections alone, I'd probably pick Carson or Kasich, but Walker is fine with his choice of Martinez.

[Attorney General, LGC Speaker, and Former PPT Dwarven Dragon]

If I looked at VP selections alone, I'd probably pick Carson or Kasich, but Walker is fine with his choice of Martinez.

I decided very early on that none of the final four would pick another of the final four as their VP.

[Kingpoleon]

Endorsing Kasich-Sandoval, though I'd prefer a more diverse choice as a Senator like Ernst or Rubio or Gardner.

[Attorney General, LGC Speaker, and Former PPT Dwarven Dragon]

Republican Convention - July 18-21 - July 18 & 19 Key Speakers



2012 Presidential Nominee Mitt Romney



2012 Vice Presidential Nominee Paul Ryan



Speaker of the U.S. House Cathy McMorris Rodgers



Kentucky Senator Rand Paul



New Jersey Governor Chris Christie



Texas Senator Ted Cruz



Scott Walker's Wife Tonette Walker



Donald Trump's Wife Melania Trump



Ben Carson's wife Candy Carson



John Kasich's wife Karen Kasich



Massachusetts Governor Charlie Baker



Illinois Governor Bruce Rauner




Colorado Senator Cory Gardner



RNC Chair Reince Priebus (And no, he's not going to be fired.)



Pennslyvania Senator Pat Toomey (keynote)

[Attorney General, LGC Speaker, and Former PPT Dwarven Dragon]

Republican Convention - July 18-21 - July 20

Speeches by the vice presidential candidates are followed by the nomination speakers:



Fmr. U.S. Sen Pete Dominici (Nominating John Kasich)



Fmr. Gov. and Fmr. Presidential Candidate Mike Huckabee (Nominating Scott Walker)



Jared Kushner, Son in law of Donald Trump (Nominating Donald Trump)



Mary Fallin, Governor of Oklahoma (Nominating Ben Carson)


Convention Debate Winner Poll:

Trump: 35%
Kasich: 30%
Walker: 23%
Carson: 12%

Next: The First Ballot

[Bigby]

Go Kasich or Walker!

[Attorney General, LGC Speaker, and Former PPT Dwarven Dragon]

Note: The numbers for the first ballot largely come from calculations done by Kasich2016. Some have been edited to enhance accuracy. Delegates for Bush, Perry, and Graham (which were never pledged to anyone else) are considered unpledged delegates and have been apportioned as realistically as possible.

The First Ballot

Priebus: Okay now. Time to settle this primary once and for all. Three of the four people running for our nomination would be great presidents. And I think I can trust you guys to not nominate Trump.

*Trump delegates laugh*

Priebus: Enjoy the end of your joke campaign, losers. Co-Chair Sharon Day will keep count. First up, Alabama with 50 delegates!

Surrogate: Alabama, a proudly republican state (...) Alabama casts 17 votes for Trump, 14 for Carson, 10 for Walker, and 9 for Kasich!

Day: Trump 17, Carson 14, Walker 10, Kasich 9!

*Trump delegates laugh*

Priebus: Alaska, with 28 delegates!

Surrogate: Alaska, where Senator Murkowski will be solidly re-elected (...) Alaska casts 7 votes for each candidate!

Day: Trump 24, Carson 21, Walker 17, Kasich 16!

Priebus: American Samoa, with 9 delegates!

Surrogate: American Samoa, the greatest territory (...) American Samoa casts 3 votes for Carson, 2 for all other candidates!

Day: Trump 26, Carson 24, Walker 19, Kasich 18!

Priebus: Arizona, with 58 delegates!

Surrogate: Arizona, a state that will solidly reelect Senator McCain (...) Arizona casts all 58 votes for Walker!

Day: Walker 77, Trump 26, Carson 24, Kasich 18!

Priebus: Adios, Trump! Arkansas, with 40 delegates!

Surrogate: Arkansas, where conservative values are truly respected (...) Arkansas casts all 40 votes for Carson!

Day: Walker 77, Carson 64, Trump 26, Kasich 18!

Priebus: Ah, yes, how Trump suffers. California, with 172 delegates!

Surrogate: California, proud to have the largest population (...) California casts 56 votes each for Trump and Kasich, 36 for Walker, 24 for Carson!

Day: Walker 113, Carson 88, Trump 82, Kasich 74!

Priebus: Colorado, with 37 delegates!

Surrogate: Colorado, the state that is proud to hate Hillary Clinton (...) Colorado casts all 37 votes for Kasich!

Day: Walker 113, Kasich 111, Carson 88, Trump 82!

Priebus: Trump in dead last! Yahoo!

Trump Delegates: Stop it!

Priebus: Quit it, low energy freaks!

Trump Delegates: Jeb Bush dropped out after Nevada, douchebag!

Priebus: Just be quiet! Connecticut, with 28 delegates!

Surrogate: Connecticut, a state that is just too liberal (...) Connecticut casts all 28 votes for Walker!

Day: Walker 141, Kasich 111, Carson 88, Trump 82!

Priebus: Delaware, with 16 delegates!

Surrogate: Delaware, the state that wishes it wasn't the home of Joe Biden (...) Delaware casts all 16 votes for Trump!

Day: Walker 141, Kasich 111, Trump 98, Carson 88!

Priebus: The District of Columbia, with 19 delegates!

Surrogate: D.C., soon to be home to a republican (...) D.C. casts all 19 votes for Kasich!

Day: Walker 141, Kasich 130, Trump 98, Carson 88!

Priebus: Florida, with 99 delegates!

Surrogate: Florida, the best coastal state (...) Florida casts all 99 votes for Trump!

Day: Trump 197, Walker 141, Kasich 130, Carson 88!

Trump Delegates: Suck it, Priebus!

Priebus: You'll fall behind again soon enough. Georgia, with 76 delegates!

Surrogate: Georgia, a proudly republican state (...) Georgia casts 36 votes for Carson, 20 each for Walker and Trump!

Day: Trump 217, Walker 161, Kasich 130, Carson 124!

Priebus: Guam, with 9 delegates!

Surrogate: Guam, which will be a state one day (...) Guam casts 3 votes for Walker, 2 for all other candidates!

Day: Trump 219, Walker 164, Kasich 132, Carson 126!

Priebus: Hawaii, with 19 delegates!

Surrogate: Hawaii, where people live in cooperation with nature (...) Hawaii casts all 19 votes for Kasich!

Day: Trump 219, Walker 164, Kasich 151, Carson 126!

Priebus: Idaho, with 32 delegates!

Surrogate: Idaho, a state with a population that's too low (...) Idaho casts all 32 votes for Kasich (Paul and Christie's endorsements give Kasich >50% here)!

Day: Trump 219, Kasich 183, Walker 164, Carson 126!

Priebus: Illinois, with 69 delegates!

Surrogate: Illinois, home to senator Mark Kirk (...) Illinois casts 33 votes for Trump, 21 votes for Kasich, and 15 for Walker!

Day: Trump 252, Kasich 204, Walker 179, Carson 126!

Priebus: Indiana, with 57 delegates!

Surrogate: Indiana, home to the Indianapolis Colts (...) Indiana casts all 57 votes for Kasich!

Day: Kasich 261, Trump 252, Walker 179, Carson 126!


 

[President Punxsutawney Phil]

Nice timeline Wulfric. It is content like this that makes me check for new stuff on the What-ifs board every now and then.