NE: Northeast v. SomebodyWhoExists

[cinyc]

Counselor Oakdale, is smoltchanov's answer acceptable to you or do you still object to the witness?

[Oakvale]

Your Honor,

I have nothing but respect for Mr. smoltchanov and commend his willingness to admit the question of impartiality. In the interests of an unimpeachable trial, and seeing that he is open to the prospect, I will regretfully ask that he be replaced.

[cinyc]

Your Honor,

I have nothing but respect for Mr. smoltchanov and commend his willingness to admit the question of impartiality. In the interests of an unimpeachable trial, and seeing that he is open to the prospect, I will regretfully ask that he be replaced.

Fine.  Thank you, smoltchanov, for your service.  You are dismissed.

Dallasfan65 and Grumps haven't responded to my PM.  The next four numbers are 14, 13, 41 and 18.  14 is me, and I'm ineligible to serve on the jury.  The next three potential jurors are bronz4141, polnut and Oakvale, who is inelgible to serve because he is defense counsel.  Oakvale will be replaced by 6, AutumnLeaf, if he is willing to serve. 

I will contact bronz4141, polnut and AutumnLeaf by PM to invite them to serve on the jury.  Does anyone have any objection to these potential jurors?

[Oakvale]

Your Honor,

I regret being a pain on this topic, but I must note that AutumnLeaf displays a bias against the counsel for defense - er, me - that may prejudice him -

You are a bad guy, master oakvale TwT

[cinyc]

Your Honor,

I regret being a pain on this topic, but I must note that AutumnLeaf displays a bias against the counsel for defense - er, me - that may prejudice him -

You are a bad guy, master oakvale TwT

Let's see if AutumnLeaf responds to my PM first.  He may not.  Then, you may question him about his alleged bias.  Bronze4141 has already responded to me that he is willing to serve.

[Oakvale]

Thank you Your Honor. I have no objections to Bronz and Polnut.

[cinyc]

FYI - things may slow down a bit the next few days.  Like I said before, I am on vacation this week.  I may or may not have good Internet access in some places.  I will try to keep things on track to the best of my ability when I do.

[pikachu]

I have no objections to either jurors.

[cinyc]

Polnut PMEd me that he is willing to serve.  Not surprisingly, AutumnLeaf hasn't responded to my PMs.  Given that and Oakvale's objection to him serving anyway, we will move on to the next potential juror.  The next number in the random sequence is 24, which corresponds to Clyde1998.  I will contact Clyde to see if he is willing to serve.  Are there any objections to Clyde serving?

[Oakvale]

No objections, Your Honor.

[pikachu]

No objection, but last i heard, he was in Africa.

[cinyc]

No objection, but last i heard, he was in Africa.

Yeah, he was last active about a month ago.  I'll give him until tomorrow to respond, then we'll move on to the next potential juror if he doesn't.

[cinyc]

Clyde hasn't responded.  He's in Africa.  So we will move on to our next potential juror, number 29.  That corresponds to HockeyDude.  I will contact him by PM. 

Are there any objections to HockeyDude serving on the jury?

[Oakvale]

None here, Your Honor.

[pikachu]

No objection.

[cinyc]

HockeyDude hasn't responded yet, but Clyde just got back from Africa and PMed me.  If Clyde is willing to serve, is he acceptable instead of HockeyDude or whomever is next if HockeyDude doesn't respond?  I'd rather seat a jury sooner than later.

[Oakvale]

No objection to Clyde, Your Honor.

[pikachu]

No objection.

[cinyc]

Very well.  The jury will be homelycooking, Alfred F. Jones, bronz4141, Polnut and Clyde1998. 

I will PM them and ask them to swear in on this thread.  The oath is as follows:

"I swear (or affirm) that I will well and truly try the matter in issue between the parties, and give a true verdict according to the law and evidence, so help me Dave"

Jurors can choose to swear or affirm, not both.

As far as I can tell, the Northeast doesn't have its own jury rules.  We will follow the federal law, which allows 3 of the 5 jurors to convict.

[Fmr President & Senator Polnut]

"I swear that I will well and truly try the matter in issue between the parties, and give a true verdict according to the law and evidence, so help me Dave"

[H.E. VOLODYMYR ZELENKSYY]

I affirm that I will well and truly try the matter in issue between the parties, and give a true verdict according to the law and evidence, so help me Dave.

[Clyde1998]

I swear that I will well and truly try the matter in issue between the parties, and give a true verdict according to the law and evidence, so help me Dave.

[homelycooking]

I swear that I will well and truly try the matter in issue between the parties, and give a true verdict according to the law and evidence, so help me Dave.

[Suburbia]

I affirm that I will well and truly try the matter in issue between the parties, and give a true verdict according to the law and evidence, so help me Dave.

[cinyc]

All jurors have sworn in.  Prosecutor Gov. Pikachu, please call your first witness.