Australia MPs - 44th Parliament (2013 - 2016?)

[Barnes]

So going of the style of the UK thread, I'll be conducting a thread for all 150 members of the Australian House of Representatives.  So just like the UK version, everyday will be devoted to one MP to discuss, humiliate, etc.

I was at first hesitant about doing one of these now given all of the early-election chatter, but that seems to have subsided for now at least.

Of course in Australia doing the profiles of Senators could be just as relevant and I would be up for doing a Senate thread if there was interest.

Anyway, to begin, our first MP is everyone's favorite onion-eater: Tony Abbott.



Member for Warringah, NSW (1994 - present)
Minister for Employment (1998-2003)
Leader of the House (2001-2007)
Minister for Health and Ageing (2003-2007)
Leader of the Liberal Party (2009-2015)
Leader of the Opposition (2009-2013)
Prime Minister (2013-2015)

Dig in!

[🦀🎂🦀🎂]

Tony grew up in a loving family who never participated in politics of any kind. When he moved out of home as a Rhodes Scholar Tony became involved in creepy religious rituals, student politics and degenerate conservative thought. One afternoon Tony attended a Young Tory conference with some pals. It was exhilarating, fun and he got a free pin-up of Thatcher.

Over the next few years Tony lost touch with normal people and began to fraternise with only a group of political extremists called the Howard cabinet and lived full-time in a strange locale called Canberra. The goal of the cabinet was to irritate Australians, and eventually he even managed to lead the cabinet. There was no attempt to harm people, but often fighting broke out between backbencher and the crossbench. Tony was cited numerous times for creepiness, incompetence and poor swimming attire. He said at the time he was a soldier for Sir Prince Phillip and the coal industry so the opinion polls didn't matter.

After years of stopping boats, Tony became disillusioned by constant infighting and expenses scandals. But by then, some rich wanker called Malcolm and topple him anyway.

[Knives]

Tony was a great opposition leader but horrific PM, will probably go down as one of the worst ever.

[Barnes]

Anthony Albanese


Member for Grayndler, NSW (1996 - present)
Leader of the House (2007-2013)
Minister for Regional Development and Local Government (2007-2010, 2013)
Minister for Infrastructure and Transport (2007-2013)
Minister for Broadband, Communications, and the Digital Economy (2013)
Deputy Leader of the Labor Party (2013)
Deputy Prime Minister (2013)

As well as, of course, contender for leader of the ALP at the October 2013 leadership election.

[Knives]

Albo is a legend but I'm happy Bill beat him for leader because he just seems far too much like a Beazley.

[Ebowed]

Did anyone see The Chaser's Media Circus with him?   I actually thought it was very funny.

I was a big supporter of Albo, but I've softened on him since the start of the year when I moved to the Greens.  Funnily enough, I just moved from his district to looking for houses in Shorten's electorate.

[Barnes]

John Alexander

Member for Bennelong, NSW (2010 - present)

Before entering politics, Alexander was a professional tennis champion for many years.  In 2010 he retook the seat of Bennelong from Maxine McKew who had famously defeated John Howard in his own seat in 2007.

[🦀🎂🦀🎂]

Had a fun response to sirprincedukephilipgate

http://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2015/feb/17/australia-should-offer-matehoods-in-place-of-knighthoods-liberal-mp-suggests

[BaconBacon96]

Albo is a legend.

John Alexander seems to me to be one of the better Liberal MPs.

[Barnes]

Karen Andrews -- Liberal National Party

Member for McPherson, Queensland (2010 - present)
Parliamentary Secretary to the Minister for Industry and Science (2014-2015)
Assistant Minister for Science (2015 - present)

[Barnes]

Kevin Andrews -- Liberal Party

Member for Menzies, Victoria (1991 - present)
Minister for Ageing (2001-2003)
Minister for Employment and Workplace Relations (2003-2007)
Minister for Immigration and Citizenship (2007)
Minister for Social Services (2013-2014)
Minister for Defence (2014-2015)

At last month's leadership spill, Andrews ran on an ill-fated ticket for Deputy Leader with Abbot; Julie bishop gave him a good thrashing and won 70 votes to 30.  He was then axed from the ministry the next week and made a highly amusing press conference to spoil Turnbull's announcement.

[Knives]

My local MP.

He is the worst.

I hate him.

[BaconBacon96]

Whatever happened to this.

[Barnes]

Whatever happened to this.

I'm sorry; this got swept under the rug over this past week. I'll have an update today.

[Barnes]

Bob Baldwin -- Liberal Party

Member for Patterson, NSW (1996-98, 2001-present)
Parliamentary Secretary to the Minister for Industry, Tourism and Resources (2006-2007)
Parliamentary Secretary to the Minister for Industry (2013-2014)
Parliamentary Secretary to the Minister for the Environment (2014-2015)

[Barnes]

Adam Bandt -- The Greens

Member for Melbourne, Victoria (2010 - present)
Deputy Leader of the Greens (2012-2015)

The first Greens MP elected at a general election, and their second MP in total after Michael Organ who won the 2002 Cunningham by-election but was defeated in 2004.

Bandt played a crucial role in allowing Julia Gillard to form a minority government following the 2010 election (he wasn't likely to support Abbott, now was he? ) and increased his primary vote significantly in 2013.  This area of Melbourne is also trending to the Greens at the state level with Ellen Sandell representing the state electorate of Melbourne.

[BaconBacon96]

I understand he has a large personal following in Melbourne that allowed him to buck the trend against the Greens in 2013. With successes at the state level as well, it seems the Greens are becoming entrenched in the central Melbourne area.

[Knives]

Baldwin will probably lose his seat to Labor as a result of redistribution.

Adam Bandt is like Britta on Community, just the worst. But, the Greens are unfortunately entrenched in Melbourne and are unlikely to lose the seat for the foreseeable time.

[Barnes]

Bruce Billson -- Liberal Party

Member for Dunkley, Victoria (1996 - present)
Parliamentary Secretary to the Minister for Foreign Affairs (2004)
Parliamentary Secretary for Foreign Affairs and Trade (2004-2005)
Parliamentary Secretary (Foreign Affairs) and Parliamentary Secretary to the Minister for Immigration and Multicultural and Indigenous Affairs (2005-2006)
Minister for Veterans' Affairs and Minister Assisting the Minister for Defence (2006-2007)
Minister for Small Business (2013-2015)

[Barnes]

Sharon Bird -- Labor Party

Member for Cunningham, New South Wales (2004 - present)
Parliamentary Secretary for Higher Education and Skills (2012-2013)
Minister for Higher Education and Skills (2013)
Minister for Regional Development (2013)
Minister for Regional Communications (2013)
Minister for Road Safety (2013)