Honest slogans for US political parties?

[Crumpets]

Just curious, if political parties honestly summed up their ideology and what they represent in catchy one-liners, what would they be?

[Bigby]

Democrats: We Suck Less.

Republicans: We Also Suck Less.

Libertarian: We Also Also Suck Less.

Repeat ad inifinitum.

[afleitch]

Gun toting, bible bashing, women hating, science bating, immigrant shunning, War on Christmas-sing, Muslim grating, fag frustrating, heart attacking, pasty whiting, scooter driving, fat f-cking, baby booming GOP

[Mr. Illini]

Democratic Party: The Party That Didn't Go Off the Deep End

[Joe Republic]

Gun toting, bible bashing, women hating, science bating, immigrant shunning, War on Christmas-sing, Muslim grating, fag frustrating, heart attacking, pasty whiting, scooter driving, fat f-cking, baby booming GOP

Hallelujah... holy sh**t.  Where's the Tylenol?

[afleitch]

Gun toting, bible bashing, women hating, science bating, immigrant shunning, War on Christmas-sing, Muslim grating, fag frustrating, heart attacking, pasty whiting, scooter driving, fat f-cking, baby booming GOP

Hallelujah... holy sh**t.  Where's the Tylenol?

I did have vagina policing, fetus fetisching, conspiracy theory-ing, fourth marriageing, in there too but I decided it needed to be snappier

[dead0man]

That was the snappy version?!  This is going to be harder than I thought.....

Republican Party : we'll go to the grave together

Democratic Party : unions, minorities, women...thanks for the votes, see you again in 2 years

Libertarian Party : socially liberal, economically conservative

[Mehmentum]

Democrats: Republicans are crazy.
Republicans: Democrats are Satan.

[Famous Mortimer]

Republican Party: The solution to every problem is to cut taxes.

Democratic Party: We are not Republicans.

Libertarians: The solution to every problem is to cut taxes. Also maybe abortions maybe. Definitely taxes tho.

Constitution Party: The solution to every problem is to cut taxes and also ban abortions and gays.

Green Party: We just learned who Noam Chomsky is.

Socialist Party USA: Whatever, we've known about Noam Chomsky for years.

Socialist Alternative: Noam Chomsky is okay for a cis-het White man we guess.

Reform Party: We are a couple of homeless people in Mississippi.

[Kushahontas]

[Clark Kent]

Republican Party: Free soil, free labor, free markets, and free men.

[Brewer]

Republican Party: Free soil, free labor, free markets, and free men.

what the hell

[Mr. Reactionary]

Republican Party: Please present a church bulletin, your most recent bank statement, and 2 forms of photo ID to enter.

Democratic Party: Please remember that some are more equal than others. Check your privilege at the door.

Libertarian Party: We love freedom so much that we nominated Bob Barr.

Constitution Party: What do you mean its not 1956?

American Communist Party: Ignorance is bliss, please ignore 20th Century history.

[sparkey]

Republican Party: Free soil, free labor, free markets, and free men.

what the hell

Wasn't that John P. Hale's slogan (minus "free markets")? Did the Republican Party later use it too?

[Crumpets]

Democrats: Europe thinks we're the saner ones.
Republicans: Because let's face it, David Cameron and Stephen Harper are communists.
Libertarians: Because all of the great revolutions in history were lead by basement-dwelling stoners, right?
Green Party: Doing literally nothing except handing the presidency to George Bush since 1990.
Constitution Party: Because let's face it, Marine Le Pen is a communist.
Communist Party: Not doing anything and endorsing Democrats since 1988.
Socialist Alternative: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4SUl69RFJ8
Justice Party: Hi, my name is Rocky.
Reform Party: We were the third biggest vote-getter in a county in Nebraska in 2012. So no, we're not dead.
Peace and Freedom Party: Because Roseanne Barr is our best bet for Peace and Freedom.
Prohibition Party: Seriously guys, holding party conventions over conference calls is how all of the cool kids do it.
Neo-Nazis: Because let's face it, ISIS is just too pro-Israel.
Transhumanist Party: Come on, you know you want President Zoltan Istvan Gyurko.
Pirate Party: If only we were as successful as in Sweden, where we also don't have any elected members.
KKK/American Freedom Party: Most of our publicity comes from Jerry Springer reruns.
Modern Whig Party: I don't think our founder knows what it means to be a Whig.
LaRouchians: America's LDPR except even bigger a**holes.

[Clark Kent]

Republican Party: Free soil, free labor, free markets, and free men.

what the hell

Wasn't that John P. Hale's slogan (minus "free markets")? Did the Republican Party later use it too?

I think Fremont might've used it. I chose it because it represents the GOP all the way from its beginnings in the 1850s to the present day.

[Zioneer]

Democrats: We don't vote in off-year elections.
Republicans: We alienated everyone who votes in presidential elections.
Libertarians: We don't believe in foreign policy.
Greens: We don't believe in industry.
Constitution: We think The Handmaids Tale was a documentary.
Communist Party: We probably have twenty split-off parties.
Socialist Alternative: Have you heard the good news about our Lady and Savior Kshama Sawant?
Justice Party: I, Rocky.
Reform Party: We went from Perot to this?
Peace and Freedom Party: We love crappy has-been comedians.
Prohibition Party: Why yes, arguing about the King James Bible is the best use of our time.
Neo-Nazis: Chinless yokels who think they look good in Hugo Boss.
Transhumanist Party: Immortality or bust!
Pirate Party: If only we could turn pirated files into votes.
KKK/American Freedom Party: Don't mind our vaguely patriotic name, we're basically Nazis.
Modern Whig: We're centrist guys, don't you like centrism? Please vote for us...
LaRouchites: North Korea as an American political party.

[○∙◄☻¥tπ[╪AV┼cVê└]

Democrats: We're the wing of the corprocrat party that sucks less
Republicans: We're the wing of the corprocrat party that is more honest about screwing you over

[Bojack Horseman]

Gun toting, bible bashing, women hating, science bating, immigrant shunning, War on Christmas-sing, Muslim grating, fag frustrating, heart attacking, pasty whiting, scooter driving, fat f-cking, baby booming GOP

And for the Democrats: "We're not perfect, but they're completely insane."

[The_Doctor]

Democratic Party: Tax and tax, spend and spend, elect and elect. Also, check your privilege.

[VPH]

Republican Party: We love Wall Street, birth, the Bible and guns.
Democratic Party: Wait, people exist in between the coasts?
Green Party: Pot smoking hippie vegans unite!
Libertarian Party: Bronies for Edgy Republicanism
Constitution Party: Back when I was a kid, ____________ in this damn country.
Reform Party: Can we have Ross back?
Socialist Party: Bernie's not Socialist enough
US Marijuana Party: Broooo pass the blunt.
Transhumanist Party: Man, machine, immortality.

[Bandit3 the Worker]

Some good Republican slogans:

"Fighting yesterday's battles tomorrow."

"We'll do to the country what we've already done to the country."

"Because adulterers are fun."

"We're the elephant in the room."

"One more chance? Please???"

"Number one in people freezin'."

"Because we say so."

"Building a bridge to the 12th century."

"Return to idiocy."

"No you won't."

"Keeping your kids safe from drugs by supporting Big Pharma."

"It's not fascism when we do it."

"Head for the mountains. It's Bush."

"We lie all the way to the bank."

"G-R-A-F-T!"

"You deserve a fake today."

"Had enough? Too bad!"

"In your guts, you know we're nuts!"

"It's morning in America. So we woke you up with a jackhammer."

"Spill, baby, spill!"

"It only takes 5 Supreme Court Justices for us to win."

"Let's close the book on libraries."

"Ax the facts."

"Taxed Enough Already - which is why we support a national sales tax."

"Every king a king."

"Just for the waste of it."

"We sell no whine before its time."

[Bismarck]

Democrats: We will help you by taking your money and giving some of it back.

[Bojack Horseman]

Republican: Putting women back in their place since 2011

[Badger]

Republican Party: Please present a church bulletin, your most recent bank statement, and 2 forms of photo ID to enter.

Democratic Party: Please remember that some are more equal than others. Check your privilege at the door.

Libertarian Party: We love freedom so much that we nominated Bob Barr.

Constitution Party: What do you mean its not 1956?

American Communist Party: Ignorance is bliss, please ignore 20th Century history.

Now i remember why i'm glad you post here. :-)